At what age should children do mothers day?

Threebabes

My DS is 15, I said to him about an hour, do you know what day it is? He said Sunday! I had to laugh. I love him to bits regardless. Ive got two girls, the little one made 2 cards at school & brownies and a paper flower & bookmark. She had pestered DH to take her out to get me a present for weeks for mothers day, Dh paid. I had told him I didnt want anything, Im happy with my homemade cards.

Zoetoes

It sounds like you're treating him a lot older because he's the oldest, and I do think you're being a bit unfair to be honest.

He's probably feeling like you didn't appreciate the book and card he gave you like you appreciated the card your 10 year old gave you.

Does the 10 year old get pocket money? Why do you only expect something from the 11 year old?

Murtle

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

No, it's not being unreasonable to be disappointed in his selfishness. He's not a baby any more and expecting Daddy to sort everything for him with zero effort expended and no cost to himself is not what this particular day is supposed to be all about. Better a badly-crafted, hand-made card and a cup of tea in bed than a card and book bought on his behalf.

Perhaps a gentle word another time might be in order. I suggest a day or two before his birthday or Christmas

Maybe a couple of days afterwards if he's still asking where his card his

pink_princess

My ds almost 12 ,isn t home yet ,been with his birth mum for the day .All i want once he s home is a hug .Hes 11,he ll want to play games as soon as he s home:rotfl: what did you do at his age for your mum ?

I think you expect too much .

Nicki

Zoetoes wrote: »

It sounds like you're treating him a lot older because he's the oldest, and I do think you're being a bit unfair to be honest.

He's probably feeling like you didn't appreciate the book and card he gave you like you appreciated the card your 10 year old gave you.

Does the 10 year old get pocket money? Why do you only expect something from the 11 year old?

No, the 10 year old has a mental age of 2-3 years old. She has no understanding of money. I guess the fact that my DS had been talking for the last couple of weeks about the fact that Mothers Day was coming up led me to believe that he might put himself out to make a card. This might be the first year they haven't formally done it in school, but he has had a whole weekend to knock something up if he felt inclined to do so, and he's known since yesterday morning that dad expected him to sort it out for himself but he's spent all his free time yesterday and today playing on his computer and watching TV.

The card and book was from all 3 of them, not just from him, but yes it us true to say that DD's card was far more appreciated. . If DS had made a card or a cup of tea though that would have been appreciated just as much as DD's offering.

It is useful to know that some think that 11 is too young to make an effort though. Makes me feel like its a bit less personal IYSWIM.

Spendless

Why aren't you cross with your husband for giving the flippant answer that you are not his mum, when your DS queried what was happening?
I've got an 11yo boy like yourself and tbh I don't think it unreasonable that if more was expected of him this year that he was given more notice as to what was happening. That he would be expected to pay for your present and card out of pocket money and to make more of an effort. Your DS knew it was important enough to ask if Dad was buying and why would he think this year was going to be any different to previous ones, if no-one had said anything to the contrary?
I don't think you can compare the situation to your DD making a card. Mine never made Mother's day cards at school beyond the very young years, I am guessing that your daughter is in a special needs school and it's something they do there?

Nicki

pink_princess wrote: »

My ds almost 12 ,isn t home yet ,been with his birth mum for the day .All i want once he s home is a hug .Hes 11,he ll want to play games as soon as he s home:rotfl: what did you do at his age for your mum ?

I think you expect too much .

From I started getting pocket money I always got something for my mum. It might just have been a quarter of sweets in a paper bag depending on how much money I had, but I also remember buying her perfume and books from my own money as a child. I was quite a generous child though!

Nicki

Spendless wrote: »

I am guessing that your daughter is in a special needs school and it's something they do there?

Yes.

Spendless

Nicki- you typed whist I did. I know from prev posts that he is still at Primary school (like mine) and as such I don't think that the they are expected to start thinking for themselves in all sorts of ways will hit till the Secondary school years.

My own 11yo DS spent last night sleeping at his mates house without giving the faintest thought I'm sure that he wouldn't be waking me up with a card/pressie and breakfast.

BitterAndTwisted

Oh, for heaven's sake: Mother's Day is not about buying cards and gifts. It's about showing appreciation. The OP's son have every opportunity to either make something, buy a card or actually shift himself and do something for his Mum if he could have summoned the interest and made an effort. Even after his father told him that Dad's not responsible for doing it. He had every opportunity and had the time and the means and couldn't be @rsed.

I'd be cut to the quick and can fully understand why the OP would be as well.