At what age should children do mothers day?

FBaby

I would have been really upset, especially if you are a mum who does a lot for your boy. I got two cards from my 11 and 8 years old, and flowers from my 11 that they bought with their own money. They went to buy them yesterday afternoon together. They don't even get pocket money but save the money they get for birthday and christmas (quite a bit!). They were not reminded of the day by anyone. I agree that it is quite commercialised like all other occasions, but getting a card and bunch of flowers is always a very nice gesture, and I do get 'I love you' and 'thank you' mummy regularly regardless.

I don't know whether it is that your child is a bit absent minded and needs help reminded of things, or it is a side of selfishness emerging, but if the latest, i would not letting it pass.

Nicki

Fang wrote: »

Letting his dad buy something that was obvious that you already had? Why didn't your OH notice this if it was so obvious, or did he, and then decided that he'd let it slide to make your son look bad and to upset you? Either way it seems you're annoyed with your son for something so inconsequential that it's quite sad. You expect your 11yo to notice something but not your adult OH? I wonder why?

Do you think there might be an element of 'well my sister doesn't have to do any of this, so why should I?'? Being the parent of a child with learning difficulties, and being the sibling of one at roughly the same are quite different things. I think you're projecting quite a lot of anger onto your son that would be better placed at your OH.

The fact I already had the book is the thing I am least upset about though! The thing I was most upset about was the conversation with his dad in my presence making clear he wasn't going to bother, and the faxt that he then didn't. That isn't anyone else's fault other than DS's

In fact his sister did do more than him, and he knew this, as she came home with her home made card from school on Friday and gave it to me there and then with a big smile. And whilst it might be hard to have a sibling with a disability, I can't do a lot about that. He is older than her, and I didn't know she would be disabled until after she was born, so we all have to play the cards life has dealt us.

FBaby

Just to add, I don't think it is reasonable to be upset he chose a book you already have. It is a bit much to expect him to have taken notice a cookery book at his age. I think this is just bad luck. However, not asking his dad to take him shopping, and making a point of not wanting to spend any of his money or do something himself, yes, that's not very caring. Then again, it all depends on his behaviour the rest of the time he might have just had a bad day.

FBaby

crossing posts!

pink_princess

My DS is 12 and I buy his natural mums pressie & card ,they are only little .Ds only thinks about skate boards and computer games:cool:

I ve brought him up since he was 4 and would never expect anything other than my hug each morning & night .There is no value added to it .He s my boy

Enjoy your DS ,he ll get into mothers day in time but you ve got about 8 years yet

pinkmami

I don't "do" mother's day. Too commercialised. I'd rather my kids bought me flowers on another day, not when its a certain date on a calendar.

Mojisola

Nicki wrote: »

He's been asking for the last couple of weeks when Mothers Day was so was well aware it was today. Yesterday he asked his dad, in front of me, whether dad had got anything for me for mothers day. Dad replied I wasn't his mum, and it was for him to do something, to which he replied he wasn't going to spend his money on it, and dad should do it as he's always done it in the past when kids were younger.

Is this the problem - that up to now Dad has done it and no-one told your son that this year he was expected to sort something out?

I think a quiet word is in order, explaining to him that you were upset that he hadn't done anything. Point out that it's not the money but showing that he cares that's important. If he doesn't learn this from you and his Dad now, he's going to upset future partners!

BitterAndTwisted

The little blighter knew it was Mother's Day but either didn't care or see why he should make the effort. I'd be having a think about whether I cared or wanted to make the effort for him about something he felt important. Like making him dinner this evening. Let the selfish toe-rag make his own! And he can do his own laundry for the next few weeks as well.

viktory

I think your son could have and should have made more of an effort. A card, either home made or bought, and a cup of tea in bed would have been eminently possible for an eleven year old. I think he needs to learn a little humility. Talk to him, tell him how your felt and put it in context - how would he feel if you did similar for his birthday?

Fang_3

Nicki wrote: »

The fact I already had the book is the thing I am least upset about though! The thing I was most upset about was the conversation with his dad in my presence making clear he wasn't going to bother, and the faxt that he then didn't. That isn't anyone else's fault other than DS's

In fact his sister did do more than him, and he knew this, as she came home with her home made card from school on Friday and gave it to me there and then with a big smile. And whilst it might be hard to have a sibling with a disability, I can't do a lot about that. He is older than her, and I didn't know she would be disabled until after she was born, so we all have to play the cards life has dealt us.

His sister made the card at school, did your son have the chance to do that, or is this the first year that he didn't have the chance to do that?

It isn't your son's fault at all, it's yours and your OH's for not teaching him what you expect. He's 11, treat him like it, don't expect adult reasoning and then be upset and angry with him because he hasn't acted like an adult.