ex and holidays

Fang_3

pelirocco wrote: »

He's only 4 , not really an age to appreciate an experience , a beach/ pool is much the same where ever you are

Who's four? The OP says he's 13.

And I pity anyone who thinks a holiday should be nothing more than a beach and pool.

pigpen

i would have asked what he wanted too.. and i would be delighted if my childrens father wanted to see them a fraction of that time.. he is far too busy going on his own holidays and skiving out of the weekends he should be having them.

You have a very lucky son who has 4 parents who sound like they love him and want to spend time with him.

I would however make it perfectly clear to his dad that next year you are taking a christmas holiday so he will forfeit his time... and save every penny I could.. it might not be Malaysia but so what.. they have biiiiig bugs so I'd not want to go anyway ..

Hopefully DS appreciates these opportunities he is being given he is very fortunate.. give him another 3-4 years he won't be wanting to come on holiday with any of you!

rachbc

Fang wrote: »

I didn't say it was your fault. But your bitterness is coming across loud and clear. I just worry that your son will notice it too.

tell me what I have to be bitter about? After all I left him...

I am certainly cross with him for repeatedly going against arrangments that we mutually agreed to without considering the impact it has on the wider families. After all I could very easily decide any year that we are going away and not bring him back fro boxing day etc but I never have, I play by the 'rules' and have been flexible to previous requests .

In fact fyi our original contact agreement was half time contact/ shared care that HE has gradually erroded to alternative weekends - he told me he wanted to be the dad who did the fun stuff whilst I did all the work. When he married son used to cry at getting dropped off as he hated going so much (she once threw his dinner at him for saying he didn't like courgettses) but I kept encouraging him to go and the relationship dramatically improved when she had her own children (for which I am glad). Ex refused parental responsibilty when I suggested it and on numerous occassionas cancelled weekends, including for an entire 3 month period.

So he's not 'lucky' to have a great relationship with his dad its been a lot of hard work and tongue biting to keep it going but I feel this has been the point where I have had to draw a line.

louise3965

rachbc wrote: »

tell me what I have to be bitter about? After all I left him for the love of my life....

Oh. There's a conversation stopper. :rotfl:

Fang_3

rachbc wrote: »

tell me what I have to be bitter about? After all I left him for the love of my life....

That your son would rather spend Christmas with him? The fact that your ex has moved on and isn't pining after you? The 'new relationship' comment shows that.

You say you're not bitter but your posts show a much different picture.

rachbc

Fang wrote: »

That your son would rather spend Christmas with him? The fact that your ex has moved on and isn't pining after you? The 'new relationship' comment shows that.

You say you're not bitter but your posts show a much different picture.

In your opinion - but then we tend to get what we give out don't we!

Anyway I have added a little background for you to have a clearer picture

Fang_3

rachbc wrote: »

In your opinion - but then we tend to get what we give out don't we!

Anyway I have added a little background for you to have a clearer picture

Of course it's my opinion - Anna Ford isn't typing this, is she?

I stand by my comment.

rachbc

wow I really would love to be in possession of your mind reading skills - you'd put Derren Brown to shame with your ability to tell so much about a person from the typed words 'new relationship'....

Fang_3

rachbc wrote: »

wow I really would love to be in possession of your mind reading skills - you'd put Derren Brown to shame with your ability to tell so much about a person from the typed words 'new relationship'....

No mind-reading involved. I can just recognise your extreme defensiveness. Which you continue to display.;)

rachbc

ahh you know I knew that was coming - I am defensive yes, because I object to being told by a stranger who doesn't know me that I am bitter. I am more than happy to admit that I am cross/ angry about this situation and how it has been handled but I am not bitter - if I had been I wouldn't have agreed to either holiday, nor would I have been asking for advice - I would have said no and to hell with my son.