ex and holidays

little_miss_muppet_face

What does your son want to do ? does he want to go ?

clw1

Personally instead of saying an outright "no way" I would try to suggest a compromise. So perhaps they could go from mid Dec to the 23rd Dec or from the 27th Dec onwards for 2 weeks or they could go for 3 weeks in summer 2012.

thatgirlsam

shellsuit wrote: »

Who said anything about fighting over him? It's you that keeps bringing that up, not me.

The OP and her ex have been taking turns, so are they childish?

Its how it appear to me.. thats what children do, argue about whos turn it is next

Anyway I think its a difficult decision .. and I think ALL things should be considered, not just whose turn it is to have the son

shellsuit

little_miss_muppet_face wrote: »

What does your son want to do ? does he want to go ?

The poor kid shouldn't get a choice according to some... :cool:

rachbc

Little Miss - when I discussed the summer holiday with him he got very upset because he was torn between wanting the holiday but going away and missing us, his freinds etc for 4.5 weeks, and not getting to come on our summer holiday.

I haven't discussed this with him yet - but I think if I put it to him as 4.5 weeks in germany or 2,5 in malaysia he will find that easier than - christmas with one family or christmas with the other -(which is why we have taken turns - to avoid him having to get upset about it and knwoing where he stands)

shellsuit

thatgirlsam wrote: »

Its how it appear to me.. thats what children do, argue about whos turn it is next

Anyway I think its a difficult decision .. and I think ALL things should be considered, not just whose turn it is to have the son

Don't be so ridiculous.

The OP and her ex have an agreement of when each are to have their son over holidays, which means they take turns.

My and my ex had an agreement too years ago, of when to have the kids, so we took turns also.

It's not childish, it's being adult and mature enough to come to the arrangements in the first place.

thatgirlsam

shellsuit wrote: »

The poor kid shouldn't get a choice according to some... :cool:

It depends how old he is .. but I am really wary of presenting these kind of choices to children as he will inevitably feel he is letting one parent down and I don't think thats right or fair on a kid

thatgirlsam

shellsuit wrote: »

Don't be so ridiculous.

The OP and her ex have an agreement of when each are to have their son over holidays, which means they take turns.

My and my ex had an agreement too years ago, of when to have the kids, so we took turns also.

It's not childish, it's being adult and mature enough to come to the arrangements in the first place.

I agree its mature to come to these arrangments but I think its childish to be inflexible and argue over 'turns'

shellsuit

thatgirlsam wrote: »

It depends how old he is .. but I am really wary of presenting these kind of choices to children as he will inevitably feel he is letting one parent down and I don't think thats right or fair on a kid

Then dad shouldn't be going back on the agreement should he?

Nothing stopping Dad taking him to Malaysia when he has him at New Year.

Malaysia is going to be there next year when Dad has him over Christmas, so Dad could wait till then, that way it is fair on everyone, most of all on the child.

susan1105

I really feel for you, 4.5 weeks away for the summer is a long time and then latter in year another 2 weeks away from Mum.

How old is your son, my eldest is ten and on saturday just getting the choice of where to sleep the night mine or his dad's made him upset, as we had a day in London in theory it was his weekend with his dad so should have been going back to his dad's but I think he felt that I was getting rid of him.

In the end he came back to mine and dad pick him up in the morning.

Stay calm with ex and put your point across I do agree two weeks away over Christmas from Mum is hard, not something I would like as a mum, no excitment of the presents and the family things such as mince pie and milk being left out on christmas eve