Paying 'keep' HELP!!!

Pollycat

Sweetheart wrote: »

I probably didnt get my point across as I wanted. My point was, if my friend can offer me an all in apckage for £500 - fopr everything - all bills - the lot, then how can my Mums monthly outcome be over £1200?

I tried to speak to her today and told her that I wanted to go back to Uni but she said she that has no bearing on what I give her.

Have you asked your friend what the £500 includes?
Have you totalled up what your Mum's household related bills are (how many times do I have to keep making this point?)?
Does your friend's £500 include food? I'd guess not.
Does your Mum's £400 include food? I'd guess yes. If, however, you don't eat at home much (I vaguely remember you saying something like this), maybe it's not fair for you to pay 1/3 of the food bill.

Are you comparing like-for-like?
How does your friend's flat compare with your Mum's house?
If it's a 1 bedroom place you can hardly compare gas bills with a 3 bed house, can you?

You seem to be totally clueless about thinking logically about this.

I think you should go back to Uni to get a master's degree in "real life."

Sweetheart

I should never have asked!

January20

Sweetheart wrote: »

She didnt give me a thing. I paid my fee's myself. I lived at home and took a part time job.

So you didn't have to pay £3-4000 per year for student accommodation then, did you? Did you pay anything to your mother whilst you were studying?

My 18 year old is about to embark on a university course and she said she wants NOTHING from me. She wants to study, get a part-time job and try her best to survive on her own! Take a leaf from her book!

Mrs_Arcanum

Sweetheart wrote: »

She didnt give me a thing. I paid my fee's myself. I lived at home and took a part time job.

This would have saved you a minimum of £60 per week, as I am sure your mum provided food and did your washing as well as work herself. No matter you paid for yourself you were still being subsidised.

Sweetheart

January20 wrote: »

So you didn't have to pay £3-4000 per year for student accommodation then, did you? Did you pay anything to your mother whilst you were studying?

My 18 year old is about to embark on a university course and she said she wants NOTHING from me. She wants to study, get a part-time job and try her best to survive on her own! Take a leaf from her book!

jANUARY20, I am asking for NOTHING!!!

barbiedoll

I think that you came on here hoping that everyone would tell you that your mum is a grasping harpy and that you are being fleeced.

Instead, we are all telling you how it really is.

Go and move into your friend's place, it sounds as though you need your own space and you may learn a few things from the experience.

Good luck!

thorsoak

Sweetheart wrote: »

I'm 23 years old and working. My mum (a single parent) was made redundant from a good job in November and now, three months on she said that she can no longer afford to subsidise me and my brother and we must pay our proper share of all the bills/mortgage/council tax. (I'm 23 he is 21)

She says that with part of the mortgage included all utility bills are £1200 month -so expects me to pay £100 a week. (£1200 divided by three)

I've refused to pay as its way too much. I've discussed this with my friends and all of them say she is trying to scam me and that I could get a place of my own for less than that.

She says if I wont pay - I have to move out as she will put a lodger in my room.

Why should I pay this much? Its so unfair. I told her that I wasnt going to pay. She may not care about my future but I do! I'm saving up for my future

Also I absolutely object to paying toward HER mortgage!! Why should she profit out of me??

I told her I didnt believe that the bills were so high and demanded she give me copies. She said it was degrading to have to send me the bills and make a budget for my inspection but I think its because she is scamming me. She did send me it though.

I am refusing to pay any more than £50 a week. My brother is, looking for a job and earns £65 a week in his part time job, and my Mum is not entitled to benefits as she was paid redundancy.

So her current income is £200 a month plus £120 from my brother and she should be getting more from him not me.


Can you please give your opinion so I can show this to her to demonstrate how unfair she is being. I'm only 23 and trying to save up to move out but she wants me to go now as he cant afford to keep me. This makes me so angry as I'm hardly ever here

I see that you editied out this paragraph "Why should I pay this much? Its so unfair. I earn good money but I need it for going out and for my clothes, phones and stuff, and my student loan. I told her that I wasnt going to pay. She may not care about my future but I do! I'm saving up for my own place".

Why? Did you think it sounded unreasonable?

It most certainly is. The council tax for a good, three-bedroomed house in London (you don't say in which borough) is going to be well in excess of £160 per month next year!

And who does your washing? Your mum? Or do you do it? And how often? How do you dry it? Tumble drier? Ironing? How many baths/showers? At least one a day, I'm sure. Water is now generally on a water meter, ane believe me, it costs! All uses electricity, let alone the central heating which you no doubt turn up? (I know my teenagers used to when it wasn't their bill!)

Internet/tv .....who pays for that? Additional downloading? I suppose we can keep phone bills out of it now, seeing as you have to buy your own phones!

And what about food? Are you able to dip into the cupboards/fridge just whenever you like? And does mum generally cook a meal? Or do you decide that you don't like what she has made/prepared and order takeaways?

The fair way to work out the bills when there are adults in the house is to divide by the number of adults - that way lies fairness. You may say you object to paying her mortgage ...but will you object to paying the mortgage of your landlord when you pay him rent? Same thing!

Grow up, young lady - you are living in a dream world fuelled by your own greed and self-importance. Other people manage to get their Masters whilst living on their own/bringing up a child!

bexbex

tell you what.. you move in here and have a go at paying all my bills and I'll go live with your mum for £100 a week!

scotsgirl_3

Look, it would not be hard for your mums outgoings to be over £1200 - I'm assuming your friend is offering you a room, with an even split of the bills. So if there are two of you, £1000 a month. For what is a smaller flat, council tax lower, gas and electric lower, insurance lower (or non existant!) etc etc. And probably doesn't include food.

Seriously, your mum isn;t ripping you off, and £1200 is not a huge amount to run a house with 3 adults in it for a month. It's scary how expensive things are ( I moved in to my first flat at 17, I remember being horrified!) but they cost a lot.

We're renting (at a discounted rate from family) a 2 bed place. We pay approximately

Rent £500
C/tax - £250
Gas/electric - £100
Landline - £20
internet £15
insurance £20 (contents only, as an owner your mum will have to insure buildings too)
TV Licence - £20
Food - £300/£400

That's just the basics, and comes to more than your mum is quoting. Running a house is expensive.

Pollycat

Sweetheart wrote: »

She didnt give me a thing. I paid my fee's myself. I lived at home and took a part time job.

Did you pay board - at a fair rate - during that time?
Did she buy you things that you seem to think important, such as clothes and phone and stuff?

If you didn't pay board and she did buy you 'stuff' then of course she gave you more than 'a thing'.