Paying 'keep' HELP!!!

Sweetheart

MrsDavo wrote: »

I think I have figured out how Sweetheart thinks her mum is being unreasonable....please correct me if I am wrong...

From your point of view sweetheart you said that your mums bills are £1200 a month yes?

She is asking you for £400 per month

Your brother pays £125 per month ( as per your first post )

Your mum pays £200 per month ( as per your first post )

obviously that leaves the shortfall - which you also said your mum covers with her savings. She says we shpuld all pay equal as we are adults. But I'm her kid!!

But you see it as YOU paying more per month than your mum, don't you, because you say she only pays £200 ( forgetting about the £600 savings she is paying! )

So you are feeling it's unfair, because it looks like on paper you are the one paying the most when in actual fact it isn't.

Have I got it right?

Not quite. The bills are £1200 per month. Basic utilities only. (c tax/ part of mortgae/ gas /elect etc). she wants those bills paid equally between us all - that £400 each.

she has no income at all. (the £200 is frm me)
I pay £200 month
Brother pays currently £120 month
Bills are £1200
so she pays rest out of her savings. thats why she wants me to pay £400.

That means I'm paying more than him but he only earns £65 pw so cant pay £400, but he should get a proper job.

Mother pays about £850 a month but she says its depleting her savings. BUT if we werent living there - shes have to pay the bills anyway! So she should just be glad we're there to help or she'd starve!

Kilty_2

nicolax

i would gladly help my parents out of financial bother by paying more board ... i know that if i was ever struggling theyd help me out in a heartbeat

looktothefuture

When my parents divorced and I moved with my mom and my sister I was horrified that I was having to pay to live with my mom - I was 17! What horrified me more was that I was earning a kak salary and was paying out 2/3's of it toward keeping my family with a roof over our heads and what I was paying was only covering our food! I moaned once! Just once when I wanted chicken for dinner instead of pasta which I was sick to death of eating and my mother threw a proper fit about how much things cost and how hard she's trying to make sure that we at least had some food in our stomachs before we went to bed! What it did make me realise was that my mother was begging for my help (being the eldest) to ensure that we were safe, well fed and healthy! I never did that again! it was at that point I pulled my socks up, took on 2 other part time jobs plus a full time job to help and increased my "keep"... why? Because I was grateful and respectful of everything my mother had ever done for me! I learned years later that before that point my mother had been going hungry to ensure that bills were paid and our car had petrol!

Stop being a selfish brat and wake up! Your mother needs your help! Your future can wait just a little bit, as can your social life, just until your mother gets her feet on the ground again!

DCFC79

Sweetheart wrote: »

Not quite. The bills are £1200 per month. Basic utilities only. (c tax/ part of mortgae/ gas /elect etc). she wants those bills paid equally between us all - that £400 each.

she has no income at all. (the £200 is frm me)
I pay £200 month
Brother pays currently £120 month
Bills are £1200
so she pays rest out of her savings. thats why she wants me to pay £400.

That means I'm paying more than him but he only earns £65 pw so cant pay £400, but he should get a proper job.

Mother pays about £850 a month but she says its depleting her savings

she wants you to pay 400 as that is a third of the cost of the bills which are 1200, you with me so far

i could be wrong but i think you brother is paying more than a thrid and your mum pays the last third,

ailuro2

just wanted to add by the time I was 23 I had a place on my own, was living alone, paying my own mortgage, running my own car... and had been paying TAX and NI for the last previous 7 years!

But then I got a real job and lived in the real world...;)

Have you thought about getting your Mother off her backside and back to work - since you seem to be able to pick and choose, perhaps you could give her a few pointers?:D

DCFC79

ailuro2 wrote: »

just wanted to add by the time I was 23 I had a place on my own, was living alone, paying my own mortgage, running my own car... and had been paying TAX and NI for the last previous 7 years!

But then I got a real job and lived in the real world...;)

Have you thought about getting your Mother off her backside and back to work - since you seem to be able to pick and choose, perhaps you could give her a few pointers?

you might be joking there but the mother seems to have her head screwed on more than the daughter

MrsDavo

Sweetheart wrote: »

Not quite. The bills are £1200 per month. Basic utilities only. (c tax/ part of mortgae/ gas /elect etc). she wants those bills paid equally between us all - that £400 each.

she has no income at all. (the £200 is frm me)
I pay £200 month
Brother pays currently £120 month
Bills are £1200
so she pays rest out of her savings. thats why she wants me to pay £400.

That means I'm paying more than him but he only earns £65 pw so cant pay £400, but he should get a proper job.

Mother pays about £850 a month but she says its depleting her savings

Okay so is this you feeling hard done by because your mum can't pay her own bills so is asking you to help MORE than you were doing before she was made redundant?

You are perhaps right, maybe your brother should get a proper job. But in the mean time, your mum has to pay the bills somehow.

I presume she is looking for a job herself at the moment?

Look at it from her POV - she lost her job, as every month goes by she is using up a lot of money from her savings to keep a roof over her, and her 2 kids heads! It's probably taken her a lot to ask you for more in "keep".
Perhaps she is trying to ensure her savings last as long as possible incase she can't find work for a few months yet.

ashleypride

Sweetheart wrote: »

N BUT if we werent living there - shes have to pay the bills anyway! So she should just be glad we're there to help or she'd starve!

Yes, indeed she should be glad she has a spoilt little brat like you. Of course, she couldn't sell up and downsize or get lodgers instead could she?

llh189

Dear OP, you are rude, ignorant and wholly ungrateful for the excellent start as a single mum your mum has given you in life.

You do not need to get a Masters Degree, it will be utterly wasted on you. You need to get a reality check.

Move out and stand on your own two feet!

You should be quite frankly ashamed of yourself.

I hope you mother sells your family home and !!!!es off around the world with your inheritance and finally enjoys her life and leaves you absolutely nothing. That she spends her money enjoying the rest of her life, safe in the knowledge that her own daughter is utterly selfish and undiserving of any other financial or emotional support and that she can finally do something for herself.

When you are older and your mother has passed on that you are finally faced with the reality of the importance of love and respect.

I also hope that any children you have, never treats you with this level of disrespect - although you don't warrant this hope.