Can I stop him going

intranicity

mumps wrote: »

If he didn't take his kids with him he left them, nice that he stays in touch with them and all credit to him for that but however much adults like to kid themselves that the kids will be okay with it divorce and separation does hurt. I agree he does more than alot of men but don't you think that is more a reflection on the behaviour of those men? I brought up about him leaving as people are giving his ex a hard time for being selfish but she is entitled to a life as well, she didn't end the marriage.

I understand about military life but I do think that a man who is living apart from his children, who has already caused them to deal with him leaving to be with his new lady (who might be lovely and love the kids but they would still like to come first) has now decided that he is choosing (remember he has volunteered for this) to leave them a second time. However people like to dress it up that is going to be hard on the kids. Earlier I think you said (sorry if it was someone else) that the children were too young to be very concerned about this. I remember my brother as an eight year old when my father was dying, don't underestimate how much children of this age worry.

I hope you and your children are coping with everything, it is hard on everyone and I hope you get lots of help, not just financial because that is just the start of it, isn't it.

Sorry forgot to say, apology accepted. I forgot my manners there.

I gave the ex a hard time, and she initially deserved it, I have PM'd her and apologised, and I think she understands why she had a hard time. I have also offered support and suggestions to try and make things easier, but in the end, it's not an ideal situation, but 'Volunteering' to go on tour is something he has done and none of us should judge him for that, especially when he isn't here to defend himself. Sometimes you need to volunteer, even when you might have reservations.

I couldn't agree more on the fact it will be hard, very hard on the kids, as will it to all others concerned, ex wife, new partner and him, and no it wasn't me who suggested that the kids were to young to be worried about it, far from it, I'm certain they know exactly whats going on in their world, I did say though that they might not mention the girlfriend to mum, because even at that age, they feel loyalty (Sadly I'm also a divorcee.....)

Thanks for your concerns over me, I'm coping and managing my life, yes, it really isn't easy, on me or the kids, and the money is far from great. I have recently been in touch with the 'Not Forgotten Association' and they have invited me away for a break in Exmoor and also to a garden party at Buck House, If your husband isn't in touch with them, I strongly suggest you look them up, Help 4 Heros have done much to raise the profile of the Troops and the injured, but only help post 9/11 Many people like me and your husband get left out, the NFA don't care as long as you served and were injured, they are there to try and brighten up your life, I digress lol

I'm not here to fall out, but I do have strong opinions lol, but I don't intend to offend, but I do fight my corner.....

mumps

intranicity wrote: »

I gave the ex a hard time, and she initially deserved it, I have PM'd her and apologised, and I think she understands why she had a hard time. I have also offered support and suggestions to try and make things easier, but in the end, it's not an ideal situation, but 'Volunteering' to go on tour is something he has done and none of us should judge him for that, especially when he isn't here to defend himself. Sometimes you need to volunteer, even when you might have reservations.

I couldn't agree more on the fact it will be hard, very hard on the kids, as will it to all others concerned, ex wife, new partner and him, and no it wasn't me who suggested that the kids were to young to be worried about it, far from it, I'm certain they know exactly whats going on in their world, I did say though that they might not mention the girlfriend to mum, because even at that age, they feel loyalty (Sadly I'm also a divorcee.....)

Thanks for your concerns over me, I'm coping and managing my life, yes, it really isn't easy, on me or the kids, and the money is far from great. I have recently been in touch with the 'Not Forgotten Association' and they have invited me away for a break in Exmoor and also to a garden party at Buck House, If your husband isn't in touch with him, I strongly suggest you look them up, Help 4 Heros have done much to raise the profile of the Troops and the injured, but only help post 9/11 Many people like me and your husband get left out, the NFA don't care as long as you served and were injured, they are there to try and brighten up your life, I digress lol

I'm not here to fall out, but I do have strong opinions lol, but I don't intend to offend, but I do fight my corner.....

The grandchildren are my husbands great salvation, but then I think everyone feels like that about their grandchildren. I hope you have a great time on Exmoor, my son went their with CCF when he was at school and had a great time. The garden party sounds like fun.

I don't object to people fighting their corner but I do feel for the OP, as you know life isn't easy and we all have troubles. Personally, and I know most seem to disagree, I understand why she feels him volunteering is different to him being called up, the result is the same but as the one left holding the baby it is different for her as it would be for me.

intranicity

ekkygirl wrote: »

Signed up to fight for the country If needed; volunteering is something else.

So far out of date, I think you must still think that it's Cpl Jones and Pvt Pike that serve in the TA.....

Quote from the Army website

"Territorial soldiers and officers train in their spare time to provide support to full-time Regular units when they’re needed. When the Army goes on operations overseas, you’ll find Territorial soldiers serving alongside the Regulars. From doctors and nurses in field hospitals to Infantry soldiers working on the front line, most Army jobs are open to Territorials"

If you join the TA, you join the Army, and often you have no option about deploying, yes, he volunteered, but maybe he knows he'll have to go sooner or later anyway, and want's to do his bit now, also, time of year that you deploy makes a big difference to the casualty rate sadly, so he might have even decided that this is a safer tour than the next.....

mumps

susan1105 wrote: »

Hi there everyone did not know when I posted on Thursday when I was very upset that it would start up such a debate.

If he goes, he goes we will deal not something I had planned for but life changes.

I will make sure that if he does go that the boys are proud of him, I do think that the armed forces are doing a great job trying to bring peace in the area, I read with great interest last week how they helping bringing school's back for the children, there are so many people there who can not read. Being given the chance of an education can change a persons life give them hope to have careers and in so doing will help their country in turn in the future.

susan

I hope all goes well, I am sure you will do the best for your boys and I hope their daddy comes home safe.

intranicity

mumps wrote: »

The grandchildren are my husbands great salvation, but then I think everyone feels like that about their grandchildren. I hope you have a great time on Exmoor, my son went their with CCF when he was at school and had a great time. The garden party sounds like fun.

I don't object to people fighting their corner but I do feel for the OP, as you know life isn't easy and we all have troubles. Personally, and I know most seem to disagree, I understand why she feels him volunteering is different to him being called up, the result is the same but as the one left holding the baby it is different for her as it would be for me.

I feel for the OP too, situation isn't great, and it's a shame that anyone has to go, and looks like were off to Libya too now, lets hope the firemen don't strike.... But as you know, we do the job that the people this Country votes in tell us to do, many might not agree that we should be out there, but that's not your call when you sign on the line.

I hope you look up the NFA, might be good for hubby, I bet like me, he misses the banter and camaraderie that a few days with others that have been there can only share

ekkygirl

"Territorial soldiers and officers train in their spare time to provide support to full-time Regular units when they’re needed

Exactly what I said. I know what the TA do and why.

badgerhead

you can be a regular and still volunteer for an op tour, just throwing it out there

Esoog

intranicity wrote: »

So far out of date, I think you must still think that it's Cpl Jones and Pvt Pike that serve in the TA.....

Quote from the Army website

"Territorial soldiers and officers train in their spare time to provide support to full-time Regular units when they’re needed. When the Army goes on operations overseas, you’ll find Territorial soldiers serving alongside the Regulars. From doctors and nurses in field hospitals to Infantry soldiers working on the front line, most Army jobs are open to Territorials"

If you join the TA, you join the Army, and often you have no option about deploying, yes, he volunteered, but maybe he knows he'll have to go sooner or later anyway, and want's to do his bit now, also, time of year that you deploy makes a big difference to the casualty rate sadly, so he might have even decided that this is a safer tour than the next.....

I think too many people play games like Call of Duty! Its PTE in the British Army not that American PVT crap! :mad::mad:

MrsTinks

It might be a daft idea but divorced or not... shouldn't the primary concern be the safe return of the childrens father with his life and limbs all intact rather than baby sitting arrangements for his tour?
Have I missed something?

EmmEve

I think its up to his parents to decide whether they can afford to come see you and pay for soft play or mcdonalds for their grandkids, not you.