Can I stop him going

intranicity

Good luck to the OP and her ex, hope it all gets sorted.

I won't post any more comments on here though as for some reason there seems to be censorship going on? I have spoken from a place of knowledge and I think with compassion, I made one comment telling someone to 'Grow Up' and apologised to them in the next post and the apology was accepted. Today I find several of my posts deleted, I'm not here to molly coddle people and say there there, it will all be fine, but to speak how I see it, and I do not think I have been out of order in the slightest!

susan1105

Hi I was surprised to find peoples posts have been deleted.

i know its up to his parents if they want to look after my boys, but unlike Emmeve I know them, mother in law in wheelchair based and has real trouble getting up my stairs to go the bathroom, both late seventys. It takes a good half an hour in the car to get here and travel thur the mersey tunnels which costs £3 return, I know they are really strapped for cash and as I have stated would take offensive if we offered them cash, this is one reason ex and I have paid for a four day break in May in Norfolk for them as their christmas present of 2010.

How would you feel asking your in laws if they had they same situation??

EmmEve

I would feel awkward, but they are adults and it's up to them to make the decision as to whether they can afford it or make it over. Don't write them off because you don't like to ask . They might like the idea of getting to see the grandkids more often.

susan1105

I would me more happy for them to come and visit for social visits not to look after the boys on a regular as their son is suggesting. They do see alot of the boys as the ex seems to be taking advanatage too much. His sister has also mentioned this to me. I would prefer if they came for a visit and a meal etc or look after the twins if the I needed to take the eldest out.

miamoo

I think maybe this should of been posted in discussion time, as its not really relevant to this section.
Its more a question of whether you think he should 'work abroard' or not, as your concerns are more about childcare.
Everyone on this board has to manage daily with the issue's you have raised not to mention the worrys about the OH's being away from home. They all manage, as they have to. Some with family help, some without.
As mentioned earlier, you are divorced. So you are entitled to maintenance and you can use this to pay for any childcare you require.

kimberley_2

Unfortuantly there is no way of stopping him volunteering and being deployed. I am a serving Army wife and my husband is off there in July, we havent seen him for 6 months since moving back to germany last year. There isnt anyway to stop any deployment of a single soldier unless medically unfit.

Have you any friends or close family that could help out?

EmmEve

Well it looks as though the help is being offered but you are choosing not to accept it.

mumps

intranicity wrote: »

Good luck to the OP and her ex, hope it all gets sorted.

I won't post any more comments on here though as for some reason there seems to be censorship going on? I have spoken from a place of knowledge and I think with compassion, I made one comment telling someone to 'Grow Up' and apologised to them in the next post and the apology was accepted. Today I find several of my posts deleted, I'm not here to molly coddle people and say there there, it will all be fine, but to speak how I see it, and I do not think I have been out of order in the slightest!

I accepted your apology and I'm sorry if anything of yours was deleted.

Becc4

sorry couldnt read and run a few things I just wanted to say that as a wife of a serving solider that 'volunteering' in the army is not as some may think, and that from my experince it may seem like someone is volunteering however it has been with great emphasisie on them doing so for their career.. does anybody else have them same experince?
And as you are the ex this may not of been discussed with you, i would expect my hubby to ring his ex to discuss, and there a loads of ways to keep in touch however these phone calls would be split between you and new partner and parents, just somethig to bear in mind.

Cod_Almighty

life_in_termoil wrote: »

? If you get your maintenance paid direct through the CSA then your monthly payments will go up automatically anyway and are not taken into account with other benefits.

I'm pretty sure, that money earn't on Ops other than basic pay doesn't count when it come to CSA.