The Great Stripper Issue

anon7676

Ok so i'm posting as an alias as i find this a touchy subject.

Firstly I know people will have different opinions on this and welcome then.

I have recently found out that my OH is going on a stag do - which is fine. Then he told me it was in Eastern Europe - not that happy but fine.

The one thing i'm not fine about is that the whole weekend is being planned around women. My OH knows that I'm really self concious and have a HUGE problem with strippers etc. Its not that I think he's going to cheat on me but more that I can't bear the thought of him coming home afterwards and looking at me.

Stag weekends he's been on before hes gone for the activities and avoided the usually late night strip club after an evening out but this time there's no avoiding it.

They are being picked up by a bus with not just one but two strippers for a 'lesbo show' as they put it and even in the advert it says about them intermatly touching eachother - the mear thought makes me feel physically sick and to me thats much more than watching a stripper.

Then that night they are going to one of those topless meal places, being shown around by a group scantily clad women and then more strip clubs. His mates are awful and I know many of them take the 'extra services' offerd.

The weekend continues of the same just..

I'm not comfortable with it at all and yes i'm jelous and insecure but this is just a step to far for me. He doesnt see a problem with it and doesnt understand how it will make me feel, its even starting to make me doubt what else he thinks is ok and has hidden from me.

Kimberley82

I would not be happy either and would let my dh know if he goes he will have to deal with the consequences

anon7676

I've tried that we've been arguing about it for 2 days, he's slept on the sofa for the past 2 nights as he thinks its unreasonable for me to be upset about him going. He says he still loves me, says that i'm important to him but says he's going and that is that. - we've been together 5 years and are supposed to be getting married ourselves in 5 months. I just feel like everything is falling apart and he's putting spending a weekend ( that we cant even afford) before us and ultimatley before me.

manda1205

anon7676 wrote: »

They are being picked up by a bus with not just one but two strippers for a 'lesbo show' as they put it and even in the advert it says about them intermatly touching eachother - the mear thought makes me feel physically sick and to me thats much more than watching a stripper.

Then that night they are going to one of those topless meal places, being shown around by a group scantily clad women and then more strip clubs. His mates are awful and I know many of them take the 'extra services' offerd.

The weekend continues of the same just..

I'm not comfortable with it at all and yes i'm jelous and insecure but this is just a step to far for me. He doesnt see a problem with it and doesnt understand how it will make me feel, its even starting to make me doubt what else he thinks is ok and has hidden from me.

:eek: Bloomin eck!
NO WAY on earth would I let my hubby go on that trip! If he wanted to go that bad, I would honestly rather divorce him that know he'd been on a trip like that.
You also have to think of it the other way, what would he say if you were going on a trip like that, I know its different for women and there isnt that sort of offerings as for men, but still what if it were you instead, would he still say "yeah sure you go". Im shocked that he would even consider it really. In my eyes thats for totally single men, when you're with someone married or not they shouldnt really need or want to go on those sorts of trips!
Really feel for you though and hope you can sort it out ((hugs))

anon7676

He just says that everyone elses wives or GF's are fine with them going - im guessing they dont know what's going on as I only found out through facebook ( yes i shoudn't be looking but i dont think thats the point).

He said he would be fine with me going on a trip like that which i find hard to believe but its easy to say when the situation isnt in front of you.

hermanmunster_3

anon7676 wrote: »

He just says that everyone elses wives or GF's are fine with them going - im guessing they dont know what's going on as I only found out through facebook ( yes i shoudn't be looking but i dont think thats the point).

He said he would be fine with me going on a trip like that which i find hard to believe but its easy to say when the situation isnt in front of you.

Its the standard response from kids: "but everyone else is going.." or "but everyone else has got one.."

Craftyscholar

anon7676 wrote: »

He just says that everyone elses wives or GF's are fine with them going - im guessing they dont know what's going on as I only found out through facebook ( yes i shoudn't be looking but i dont think thats the point).

He said he would be fine with me going on a trip like that which i find hard to believe but its easy to say when the situation isnt in front of you.

Do you know any of the other wives/girlfriends well?

Well enough to say something like
"I'm really feeling mean objecting when you are happy for your OH to go" -
"Why? Well the 'lesbo show' and the 'topless meal'" -
"Oh didn't you? I'll show you the advert"

Sounds like the boy coming home from school " but all the other boys get to ......."

euronorris

Strippers are one thing, live sex shows (which the first instance you described is very close to) and a topless restaurant are quite another in my book. The latter would only ever be acceptable if we were doing it together, and BOTH wanted to.

I'd be p'ssed off too, and I'm with Manda. I'd rather split from my OH than agree to him going on that trip. Would you?

I don't believe, for a second, that all of the other gf's and wives are OK with it. One or two might be, but even if they are, so what? That's their relationship, and this is yours. I'd still be tempted to call his bluff by calling the other gf's and wives and asking them about it.

I'd also start researching something similar for myself and let him believe that I was actually going to do it, and see how he reacts then.

stelly

After the last thread concerning strippers (which I know was a touchy subject) I thought I was quite open minded and wouldn't have been too upset about OH going to a strip club in the UK but....

OMG :eek:.

No way would I be happy about my OH going to the weekend you've just described.

Definately sounds like one for single men and not one for men who are supposed to be getting married.

I would draw the line at the bus let alone the rest of the weekend.

Fang_3

You obviously don't like his friends, so you're turning this into an issue of him being forced to take sides - you, or his friends. Only you know who will win this.

windswept

If putting his friends and this skanky stag weekend is more important than your future life together, he's not the man you thought he was and you need to really think about whether you want to marry a man who thinks it's ok and normal to use women in this way for entertainment.
These type of events are normally interactive too, the men will be involved in sexual activity with these women, who are on a par with prostitutes in reality.
There is something seriously wrong with supposedly straight men wanting to be sexually aroused in the company of, and even having sexual activity with strippers in full view of their friends, and that's before you get into the morality aspect of treating women like objects and thinking about the sex trafficking aspect of it all.