The Great Stripper Issue

manda1205

krycek985 wrote: »

What makes you qualified to make this statement ? Have you ever know anyone whos been to a strip club or worked in one ?

It really annoys me that all strippers or lapdancer are assumed to give extras. The club near me one dancer was caught giving extras and she was thrown out the door the second she was caught in the act.

My Brothers girlfirend was a lapdancer and she knew other girls who would give extra's, they were not sacked. Unfortunately in that sort of profession I dont think you can get away from stereotypical views when there are so many that will step over that line. When my brother got with her and found out her job he said to her if they were to get serious he couldnt handle her working in that profession, even though he trusted her, she "chose" him over her job and they do fine, she misses the money she made but would rather have my brother than the job, I suppose it all comes down to what your morals and values. I know that I value and respect my husband enough to not want to do things that may jeopordise our marriage and think he does too.

anderson8

Fang wrote: »

But not the concept of causality.;)

indeed i have, but as my husband would tell you, there can only ever be one thing to blame....him;)

vroombroom

fab post Mupette:money:

OP, is your H2B having a stag do?

Pixiechic

Have you tried to sit down calmly and speak to your OH about how you feel?

How long has he known the Stag? Are they long time friends?

You say that you trust him not to cheat but it is your insecurity that is upsetting you. I understand that but I wonder how much your fears should be placed on him? Is that fair? Has he ever given you a reason to doubt him?

Fundementally, are you really willing to split up over this or would that be a slightly idle threat?

Fang_3

anderson8 wrote: »

indeed i have, but as my husband would tell you, there can only ever be one thing to blame....him;)

Then you don't understand it.;)

Tish_P

I don't see the relevance of "girls being just as bad", Mupette. I'm not currently in a relationship with any teenage girls in Torquay. The question is whether this is tolerable in a particular relationship, and the answer is that it depends on the relationship.

euronorris

Fang wrote: »

Really? Do any of you saying this actually think that that's how relationships work?

This is why I chose to say 'agree to this weekend', rather than 'let him go'. If my OH wanted to go that badly, he would, and there would be nothing I could do to stop him.

But....this is a deal breaker for me. If he went on a weekend like that, I just couldn't continue the relationship anymore. I would feel that he had no respect for me or our relationship, so what would be the point anymore?

Mupette

Tish_P wrote: »

I don't see the relevance of "girls being just as bad", Mupette. I'm not currently in a relationship with any teenage girls in Torquay. The question is whether this is tolerable in a particular relationship, and the answer is that it depends on the relationship.

you are right as in is it tolerable, but it's down to trust, i get the impression the girls here don't trust their men.

It's almost like a role reversal, men used to control women in what the wore, did etc and now women decide what the men are and aren't allowed to do.

Been in a marriage like that, i was controlled, was told what to wear, what to do, and i got beaten up if it was not to his standard.

I'm getting married next year to someone who would happily allow me to do what i want, if he felt i was making a mistake or wasn't happy with my actions he would tell me, but importantly give a valid reason why, not 'oh because i don't trust you' or 'I don't want you to' he would point out the consiquencies of my actions,

example, if you drink all that booze your going to be so ill tomorrow (not 'if you drink all that booze your going to make a show of me')

relationships are give and take, seems a lot of women want to take but won't give then complain on here that 'their man' isn't the man they expect them to be.

The reason i bought up the subject of women being just as bad, it seems it's being brushed aside and ignored as irelavant, because it doesn't happen.

Kimberley82

Mupette wrote: »

you are right as in is it tolerable, but it's down to trust, i get the impression the girls here don't trust their men.

It's almost like a role reversal, men used to control women in what the wore, did etc and now women decide what the men are and aren't allowed to do.

Been in a marriage like that, i was controlled, was told what to wear, what to do, and i got beaten up if it was not to his standard.

I'm getting married next year to someone who would happily allow me to do what i want, if he felt i was making a mistake or wasn't happy with my actions he would tell me, but importantly give a valid reason why, not 'oh because i don't trust you' or 'I don't want you to' he would point out the consiquencies of my actions,

example, if you drink all that booze your going to be so ill tomorrow (not 'if you drink all that booze your going to make a show of me')

relationships are give and take, seems a lot of women want to take but won't give then complain on here that 'their man' isn't the man they expect them to be.

The reason i bought up the subject of women being just as bad, it seems it's being brushed aside and ignored as irelavant, because it doesn't happen.

I agree women can be just as bad, I was when I was young. But when in a relationship you need to think about the other person as well as yourself.

I wouldnt stop my dh from doing something like this, how could I unless I chained him in the basement. But if he went knowing how I felt he would have to face the consequences when he got home.

Same if I did something that I knew would hurt my dh then I would have to do the same.

Gavin83

pinkshoes wrote: »

If he REALLY wants to go, perhaps he can sell some of his own stuff (i.e. not your joint money) to go? (does he have a PS3, or expensive mobile?)

This is my major issue with completely sharing money in relationships. Would it be fair for both partners not to be able to do something they wanted to do because their partner wasn't happy with the money being spent on it?

I have a few thoughts on this. Firstly if I was due to go to a strip club for a stag do and my girlfriend said I couldn't go, I'd give serious thought to ending the relationship there and then. Mainly because I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where my partner thought it was ok to tell me what to do but to be honest I wouldn't be in a relationship with a girl who had a massive problem with strippers anyway. However if he knows you have a problem with strippers then he has chosen to accept this and stay with you so he has to take some responsibility.

The main issues women seem to have is down to feeling secure about the whole thing. It makes me feel sad that some women are so insecure about their looks and bodies that they aren't happy with their men seeing other women naked. I feel Im quite lucky in having a girlfriend who feels comfortable in her skin but then again she has told me she feels that way because of the compliments I give her so maybe thats an issue.

I haven't actually been to a strip club before and don't really feel the need to but if someone wanted to go to one as part of a stag do I'd certainly tag along and would expect my girlfriend to be cool with it. She has actually been to hen do's before with stripper or stripper type situations and I've been ok with it so I'd expect the same on the other foot. I have however been to a live sex show when single with friends and to be honest I didn't really see a difference between this and regular stripping.

I don't really see the problem with the restaurant but the other part does sound like a step up from a regular strip show.

You are in a bit of a dilemma now though and whatever you do I think it'll put a massive strain on your relationship. Either he goes and you'll be upset with him or he doesn't go and he'll resent you for it.

I also don't really think it's fair to say he can't go to a friends stag do. Honest question. If you were due to go on a hen weekend where there were male strippers and he said he didn't want you to go, would you go anyway?