The Great Stripper Issue

anderson8

Fang wrote: »

Really? Do any of you saying this actually think that that's how relationships work?

each relationship is different. if you have a textbook that tells everyone how to have the perfect relationship then please feel free to share

Errata

If he insists on spending money you and he haven't got on a sleazy activity, you're paddling in different puddles.
Not a good basis for marriage if he insists on putting the needs of his mates and his !!!!!! way above yours. Leopards rarely change their spots.

Fang_3

anderson8 wrote: »

each relationship is different. if you have a textbook that tells everyone how to have the perfect relationship then please feel free to share

Indeed they are, but I can't think of a healthy one where one supposedly equal partner has to ask permission to do something.;)

manda1205

Fang wrote: »

Really? Do any of you saying this actually think that that's how relationships work?

Not quite sure what you mean by this. Its not about actually "letting him go" as such, its that my husband would know that I was in no way happy about him going and I would honestly say that his stuff would be at his mums when he got back! I know for a fact he wouldnt want me going to a strip show let alone getting up to anything else, so why should he, but then I would like to think my husband would never consider a weekend like that anyway.

windswept

A man who thinks that this type of thing is either normal or harmless behaviour, is not someone who will be a good husband or father.

gratefulforhelp_2

Errata wrote: »

you're paddling in different puddles.

Lovely expression, may I plagiarise please?

anderson8

Fang wrote: »

Indeed they are, but I can't think of a healthy one where one supposedly equal partner has to ask permission to do something.;)

i agree with that, but then i also think it cant be a healthy relationship in the first place for one partner to want to participate in something that so completely abhorrent to the other. surely in a healthy relationship, you have similar values and principles?

Fang_3

manda1205 wrote: »

Not quite sure what you mean by this. Its not about actually "letting him go" as such, its that my husband would know that I was in no way happy about him going and I would honestly say that his stuff would be at his mums when he got back! I know for a fact he wouldnt want me going to a strip show let alone getting up to anything else, so why should he, but then I would like to think my husband would never consider a weekend like that anyway.

There are quite a few posters saying the same - they wouldn't 'let him go'. If it was a man saying that he'd be accused of domestic abuse. Something to think about.

Fang_3

anderson8 wrote: »

i agree with that, but then i also think it cant be a healthy relationship in the first place for one partner to want to participate in something that so completely abhorrent to the other. surely in a healthy relationship, you have similar values and principles?

Ever heard the phrase 'opposites attract'?

Tish_P

It's not getting permission to go that's the problem. He's got a passport, she's not got him handcuffed.
It's getting permission to still be in a relationship with the OP if he goes. She has every right to refuse that "permission" if she so decides.