Dispute between Childminder and husband

POPPYOSCAR

I could not support my OH if he behaved liked this.

There is a big difference between letting someone know you are not happy with their actions/situation and losing your temper, shouting and reducing them to tears.

I do not understand 'standing by your OH no matter what'.To me that would make me a hypocrite and I could not live with myself.

It seems to me that the Ops Oh isn't really sorry about this, more likely than not he is just concerned about not having a child minder at hand.If he had been really remorseful he would have contacted her asap and not leave it until next week.

elvis86

patchwork_cat wrote: »

I think you understand me.

I doubt you'll agree when you read my subsequent post!:D

patchwork_cat

Pollycat wrote: »

So exactly what I said then.....


It's not slang definitions, I just put into words what you didn't.

You are the one that said it doesn't take a big person! not me.

Pollycat

patchwork_cat wrote: »

You are the one that said it doesn't take a big person! not me.

patchwork_cat wrote: »

It is semantics, I am not here to argue about slang definitions from different parts of the country of different backgrounds - that is petty and of topic.

Well maybe you are......here to argue about slang definitions from different parts of the country of different backgrounds - that is petty and of (sic) topic.

newcook

patchwork_cat wrote: »

How many of you have been apoloised to when they have been shouted out? I can think of 3 situations where I have not been apologised to and I should have been.

then you should have pulled them up about it! some people think that because a day or 2 passes by that its all gone and forgotten - the few times I have been shouted at the person has either apologised the following day or I have said to them when I have next seen them 'you were out of order for shouting at me' - this also usually prompts an apology

however, if I was doing business with someone and looking after that persons most prized and valued thing and they shouted at me for something that was their fault, I would be expecting a face to face apology within hours!!

OP's OH seems to be taking the ostrich approach and hoping that by next tuesday the CM will have forgotten all about it - in reality the CM will be seething even more because she hasnt received an apology. OP if I were you I would be telling (yes telling, not asking) him to get his @rse round there asap apologising for his behaviour and also apologising that its taken so long!

patchwork_cat

I am backing out now as either I am not as good a communicator as I thought, I am being deliberately misunderstood or I am in a Monty Python sketch!

elvis86

Pollycat wrote: »

Well maybe you are......here to argue about slang definitions from different parts of the country of different backgrounds - that is petty and of (sic) topic.

I'm totally lost?!

Are we still talking about Patchworkcat and her OH, who she would support and back up to the hilt if he did something she disagreed with, only he never has done or will do anything she disagrees with because they agree on everything and he caresmoreabouttheirfamilyandchildrenthanhisstupidpride..?:D

Pollycat

elvis86 wrote: »

I'm totally lost?!

Are we still talking about Patchworkcat and her OH, who she would support and back up to the hilt if he did something she disagreed with, only he never has done or will do anything she disagrees with because they agree on everything and he caresmoreabouttheirfamilyandchildrenthanhisstupidpride..?:D

Nah, Elvis

just pointing out that patchwork cat (who seems to have left the building) is actually being argumentative about what sort of person apologises - which is totally off-topic and, like warehouse I'm ready to get back to what the real issue is here.

warehouse

newcook wrote: »

however, if I was doing business with someone and looking after that persons most prized and valued thing and they shouted at me for something that was their fault, I would be expecting a face to face apology within hours!!

Nail on the head. This is what a lot of people who don't use Childminders forget. Your little ones are absolutely THE most prized possession you will ever own in your entire life. They are so valuable that that value cannot be measured, yet the person you are trusting with their lives can be shouted at and treated as a throwaway thing beggars belief.

Mojisola

newcook wrote: »

OP's OH seems to be taking the ostrich approach and hoping that by next tuesday the CM will have forgotten all about it - in reality the CM will be seething even more because she hasnt received an apology. OP if I were you I would be telling (yes telling, not asking) him to get his @rse round there asap apologising for his behaviour and also apologising that its taken so long!

You're right - putting it off will have made it worse, not made it go away. The longer he leaves the apology, the worse things will get.

Even if the CM isn't considering giving you notice to take your children elsewhere, the relationship is never going to be the same again.