Stripper Opinions - but fear I may regret it.

Lunar_Eclipse

dmg24 wrote: »

So you object to gambling, smoking, any 18 films ... Anything else? You are coming across as very narrowminded, and need to be careful not to put that on your children.

I don't think so. I think she has come across as someone with moral values (that are different to yours.)

Everyone projects their values onto their children to some degree, one way or another. It's human nature. Vegetarian parents don't usually wean their children on to meat, eco warriors don't usually buy their children an excessive amount of plastic toys etc etc.

andrealm

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

I don't think so. I think she has come across as someone with moral values (that are different to yours.)

Everyone projects their values onto their children to some degree, one way or another. It's human nature. Vegetarian parents don't usually wean their children on to meat, eco warriors don't usually buy their children an excessive amount of plastic toys etc etc.

Yes, everyone has different opinions and chooses to raise their children in different ways. Nothing wrong with that.

Wanting to raise your children as vegetarians doesn't make you narrow minded,but wanting to ban butchers' shops and plastic toys from the high street probably would.

Lunar_Eclipse

andrealm wrote: »

Wanting to raise your children as vegetarians doesn't make you narrow minded,but wanting to ban butchers' shops and plastic toys from the high street probably would.

Good point. Initially I totally agreed with you (maybe the meat eating buyer of plastic toys bit of me) but then I found myself wondering if this would actually be deemed as narrow minded.

I'm sure there's a reasonally sized portion of society that have very strong and valid arguments for reducing/eliminating meat consumption and the use of plastic due to our finite natural resources that would come across as intelligent and not narrow mindedness.

Anyhow, totally off topic reply.

Really feel for you Roxie. I think a lot of honest and respectful communication is in order, but also try to keep things in perspective. The grass is rarely greener, you never truly know what goes on behind closed doors and most people are not idyllically happy in the way that they are in one's dream life. You'll get through this. xxx

Torry_Quine

euronorris wrote: »

What do you do if they are only communal changing rooms on offer (like at the sports hall I use)? Change in the toilet?

I'm surprised it bothers you that much. Are you more concerned with seeing others naked/half naked, or them seeing you naked/half naked?

The Dutch aren't shy. Regularly end up chatting to naked Dutch women in the changing rooms. Still end up having to switch to English, but there's no shame in being naked.

Torry, if your views are tied into a religious belief, then have you ever considered that we aren't born with clothes on, or even fur, so perhaps God never intended anyone to cover up other than for warmth purposes?

Any time I've gone to a swimming pool there have always been cubicles. Don't ever go to sports halls but that does surprise me and would put me off going.

I just feel very uncomfortable with seeing other people naked and would be mortified if someone saw me.

Yes we were born naked but after the fall God decided that we now needed to be clothed.

euronorris

OK, I still don't understand why, but each to their own and if you aren't comfortable, you aren't comfortable.

I don't believe in God, well.....maybe I believe in A God, but I don't follow the teachings of any religion although I was raised Catholic. But, I respect that you do, and hey, it's your body, so you make the rules!

Gavin83

I don't think there is anything wrong with projecting your views on your children, after all, that's what raising them is about. However I don't think you should be critical if they choose not to follow these views into adulthood.

I also think if your partner has a problem with something then you should take it into consideration and discuss these things early on in the relationship. Personally I couldn't cope with a partner who was against stripping, she just wouldn't be for me so I don't think the relationship would last very long. That is my opinion though and I really don't see a problem with this. You need a partner with similar morals and a similar outlook on life.

I wouldn't like a partner telling me what to do, it's almost a dealbreaker for me. However, basic honesty and respect is a must in any relationship.

tincat

My boyfriend is free to ogle at strip clubs or online and I wouldn't presume or even want to stop him. I have never been jealous of any boyfriend or my ex husband and have never understood my friends being so jealous of their men.

Funnily enough I have never, to my knowledge, been cheated on.

I can't imagine trying to control a man or demand that he only ever look at or comment on me, and vice versa.

What I do enjoy is completely open conversation with him; we chat about other people we see, who is fanciable or who wouldn't be, impressive dressing or bodies etc and we're very open about our interactions with other people (coworkers or friends) because we have no 'rules' for each other. It's a 2 way street, fun and there's always something to talk about.

I have friends who get angry when their men even look at other girls at pubs or something, and I just don't understand it. To try and control someone, or suppress their desires is going to make them miserable.

If visiting a strip club will make the OP's husband happy, I personally don't see a problem with it - it's unlikely that he will be unfaithful there as the girls are working, and there aren't too many other women there to ogle. Yes, they may have better bodies, but then you might as well put a blindfold on him when he goes to the shop in summer, as there will always be better looking girls with better bodies.

The better body thing is an issue that the OP would have to come to terms with. I understand it as I've had kids too. However, do you think that when watching every movie with Nicole Kidman, Sienna Miller, Julia Roberts (insert nubile woman of choice) etc etc, your husband is not fantasising about being with her? I really think it's completely natural, and just a fantasy, just as I'd fantasise about the usual suspects; Daniel Craig et al. In these movies, and in clothing catalogues, you see about as much as you would in a strip joint, bar an inch or two of cloth.

You're a long time dead, and if you're going to be in a relationship, isn't it better to be in one where you can enjoy eachother and embrace /accept their desires. As in the adage, if you love something let it go. If it comes back to you it's yours forever etc etc.

essexgirly

I also believe that men are naturally in groups (football, rugby cricket) etc, they like being part of something. It's a natural thing for a man to look at a woman (well that's what i think) even if they are not remotely interested. I don't think its anything to do with cheating or fantasising about another woman. Its a night out with the boys..... End of...... He's probably gonna get so much grief, if he even mentions it.... so, keeps it a secret, no big deal. Yes people should respect each other's feelings, but, if its just a night out with the boys, then OP should understand that he needs to live his own life too. Everybody is an individual and we all have our own thought processes, what one person thinks is right, another thinks its wrong, that will never be changed.

I also think a certain amount of jealousy is healthy, anything beyond that is obsessive and controlling.

essexgirly

p.s. I;ve also been in the company of my friends, who have been naked, (getting ready for a night out, showering after the gym, sitting on the toilet whilst they are in the bath and talking) its being comfortable who you are with, male or female, I've also been with my daughter whilst giving birth, she certainly didn't keep her clothes on, nor did they ask her to!!!!!!

goodgirl80

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Any time I've gone to a swimming pool there have always been cubicles. Don't ever go to sports halls but that does surprise me and would put me off going.

I just feel very uncomfortable with seeing other people naked and would be mortified if someone saw me.

Yes we were born naked but after the fall God decided that we now needed to be clothed.

I feel the same as you about getting changed in front of other people. I don't see why there's anything wrong with that. I also wouldn't suggest anyone who didn't have a problem with it was wrong either