My wife wont talk about having a family

dark_lady

I think counselling would be a great idea as honesty is required so neither you or your wife will be able to avoid answering difficult questions like you have on here.

sjc3

How much about your wifes past are you aware of. Could there be a very good reason why she is so scared of becoming a mum herself. It does seem unusual for someone to get so upset at the mention of starting a family. If someone is dead set against having children surely they would just say and have a frank conversation about it instead of bursting into tears.

Was her own childhood happy? Did she have a strong, stable family upbringing or was she raised by a lone parent? My cousins are adults now, but as kids they had the most awful, unconventional childhood. Neither has gone on to have families of their own. They have seen what happens to the kids when a relationship breaks down. Maybe she fears that happening to her if she has gone through it as a kid.

Counselling may help you, though I suspect it isn't something your wife would want to entertain. If she cant open up and chat to you about something so personal, she will hardly want an audience.

I feel this needs to be addressed soon or you will begin to resent that something important to you cant be discussed. Good luck

charlie792

I have to say I understand this situation, I know my OH wants kids in the future but I don't.
I don't even know why, partly just because I have absolutely no desire to do so, but partly because it terrifies me too.
In all honesty having a child, to me would just seem like the end of everything, I suppose loose the freedom and that I wouldn't want to feel like I have to work my life around someone else...
I know it sounds horribly selfish but I would never have a child just because OH did, as much as I love him, if kids were a deal breaker for our relationship then so be it...

Maybe your wife feels somewhat the same way, but shes worried that if she admits she doesn't want kids then you'd walk away?

January20

Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »

:eek:Have I missed something? I haven't noticed the OP being aggressive, nor did I spot anything to make me think that he's responsible for his wife's tears.

Post 46. Perhaps he wasn't agressive but didn't seem to appreciate we may not all agree with him.

I may have been a bit sensitive this morning - with it being Monday and all...

sjc3

dark_lady wrote: »

I think counselling would be a great idea as honesty is required so neither you or your wife will be able to avoid answering difficult questions like you have on here.

Maybe its the tone of your posts that have put the OP off responding to you. You come across as aggressive and just out for an argument. I wouldn't answer your questions either

dark_lady

Thats no surprise. Most blokes wouldnt answer these questions because then that would mean having to admit that they see childcare as womens work.

Gingham_Ribbon

dark_lady wrote: »

Thats no surprise. Most blokes wouldnt answer these questions because then that would mean having to admit that they see childcare as womens work.

I feel for any men who try to post on this part of the forum. Invariably, the same questions from women get completely different responses and men are 90% of the time seen as the bad guy.

Unbelievable.

sjc3

dark_lady wrote: »

Thats no surprise. Most blokes wouldnt answer these questions because then that would mean having to admit that they see childcare as womens work.

In no part of his posts has the OP made any suggestion that he sees childcare as womens work. Yet another rude assumption of yours. Have you read back your posts and realised how rude you are being to someone who has come onto a forum and asked for some advice.

Your response that I have quoted above just proves how arrogant you are and there is no real substance to your posts. Just daft vicious remarks. What a sad way to carry on.

pupsicola

dark_lady wrote: »

I think counselling would be a great idea as honesty is required so neither you or your wife will be able to avoid answering difficult questions like you have on here.

:rotfl:How not to win friends and influence people:rotfl:

whisper7832

Hi OP I feel for you. I hope you work things out. Do what you think's right. 6.5 years is a long time to be with someone but to be honest, it's nothing compared to the rest if your life. I was in a rubbishy relationship but I'm now with someone else - and have the most amazing kids.
I agree with your wife though, having kids is the ultimate commitment. Marriage is great if people truly value it but having children... you can't beat it.
Deep down you know what the answers are to all the questions you have / asking on here. Don't listen to people who seem to be insensitive. It's obviously an important issue to you otherwise you wouldn't have posted on here. Some people are just plain insensitive.
Bestest wishes with whatever happens.
(FFWD twenty years I hope you're happy