My wife wont talk about having a family

Errata

If you want to have an adult discussion with her, stop backing off when she gets upset. Sit there until she's cried her eyes out and is a bit calmer, make her a cuppa and carry on with the discussion.

Mme.Hibou

faithcecilia wrote: »

Maybe you need to think whether you have done this? And is there anything you feel you could do as a compromise if you wife confirms she doesn't want children fullstop. Ever. With anyone. Do you have friends with kids who appreciate an extra 'uncle'? Or do you think you could both accept a dog or cat in place of the baby you desire? Or maybe you could start helping ar Cubs or Scouts, etc?HTH

Or they could bring up a flour baby for the next 18 years.



Cute :-S

ball_park_figure

Haa Haa I like your wit. :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

suited-aces

Asianchick wrote: »

From a wife's point of view, I agree that having kids are a much bigger commitment than getting married.

You and her would be bound together forever, if you had kids and then got divorced. Also, who wants to bring kids into a marriage which is already having problems.

I dont think this is a case if her giving you the impression that she wanted kids before you got married and then changing her mind. If that was the case, then I would be angry at her but it's not.

I have been married 7.5 years and will not have kids with my husband until I can see that he wants to/is able to look after the whole family. I am not saying he must be a millionaire but the desire to put his family first, must be there and it's not and I will not bring kids into this mess. They dont deserve it.

I, too, am the main breadwinner and I resent my husband for this sometimes. I may be young but I believe that a man should strive to be able to support his family on his income alone so the wife can look after the family, if she chooses.

He's had chances to up his income but his selfishness has stopped in and I have told him that until he bucks up, there will be no kids.

Call me old fashioned but hey.

You're old fashioned

Sambucus_Nigra

Why does your wife cry when you want to talk about it?

suited-aces

Standard female tactics?

Sambucus_Nigra

suited-aces wrote: »

Standard female tactics?

Possibly, but I'm surprised that the OP doesn't ask this question when faced with such behaviour.

ball_park_figure

I have tried asking her why its emotional- She doesnt know but I think she feels that I am pressurising her about making decisions in life. I am trying not to pressurise and am no bully.
Its a little while since we talked about this subject- it doesnt come up in everyday conversation for us.
Its obviously bothering me - having joined and posted on here.:(

Errata

She gets upset so can't have a discussion, you can't cope with her being upset so can't have a discussion. One of you has to change tactics for a discussion to happen.

dark_lady

OP the way you phrase things worries me . I will try my best to HELP OUT with everything as much as i can. You make it sound like it would be out of the goodness of your heart but you would be the father and therefore bringing up the child too not just helping out. Do you see child rearing as womans work deep down? So you are definately not prepared to be the childs primary carer then!! If you do see child rearing as womans work perhaps you have been giving your wife subliminal messages to this effect and so she knows she will end up doing at least 90% of the work.
Perhaps shes getting upset because the blinkers have fallen from her eyes and shes seen things for what they really are. Perhaps she doesnt want a lifetime of poverty and struggling while staying at home looking after a kid that YOU wanted because you dont want to give up work and be the primary carer to look after a child that YOU wanted in the first place. After all she is on the higher wage. YOU are the one who wants a child but then YOU are the one who does not want things to have to change too much for you. And people are inferring that your wife is the selfish one.:mad: