Oh goodness I've messed up...advice please!

Foggster

Remember alasia if you lay all your problems out on a public forum then you have to be prepared for many opinions on your state of affairs. There has been some good advice on here but you also left yourself wide open for people to question where the father was to your children and to ask why you arent pursuing him via the CSA. You let this man back into your life and father a life but you dont know where he lives and who he works for.

A bit of advice for the future, remember this man hasnt been in your life for 2 years, if you have any doubts whatsover about his movements in that time then I would advise you ask him "to put one it" before letting him come near you.

ALIBOBSY

To the OP I don't want to judge you, but I am afraid I had much the same thoughts as many on here. Moving on from that I do want to offer some help as much for your kids as yourself and lets face it people in glass houses and all that.

Definately post over on OS boards re your shopping and on Debt boards re the bills to cut things down as much as possible.

Have you not applied for the healthy start vouchers?

http://www.healthystart.nhs.uk/

You will get £3.10 a week for you (as you are pregnant), plus £3.10 a week for any child under 4. When the baby is born until it is one you get a double voucher for the baby (but you pregnancy one finishes)

We are on JSA as Oh was made redundant and we get £3.10 for DD2 and £6.20 a week for DD3 so £9.30. These vouchers can be used in tesco/sainsburys/morrisons etc for fresh fruit and veg as well as liquid milk or baby milk. You also get vitamins for you and the children. This is a great way to get the healthy part of you diet covered, then just buy the basics from your wage.

Looking at your posts I would say you will get £9.30 a week. The vouchers are sent a months worth at a time so you can grab bargains when you see them and either cook into meals and freeze or chop and freeze. Or spread you vouchers out over each week if you wish.

ali x

moggylover

Geenie wrote: »

I have never made mistakes when it came to having children with a responsible father and loving partner.

The pill is great if taken correctly.

You have anger issues which relate to this subject! :cool:

Well, that post is great for illustrating how smug and self-satisfied YOU are, but doesn't offer the OP any constructive advice so perhaps you have issues as well, just ones that don't relate to the the ethic of the site and this board:cool:

Morglin

alasia wrote: »

No, his family won't help, theyre not interested.

I havent justified anything...as it is, I've made £100 today but wont see it for 2 weeks - but it's a start.

But how DARE anyone say that they feel sorry for my children, or can't afford them - I made one f*****g slip up and am now paying for it, get a grip and calm down!

My food bill WILL NOT go below £80 a fortnight and as I said, I DO already live off cereal most of the time, saving the food for the kids.

It might be an idea to go to either the CAB or a Welfare Rights Office in your area, to get some help and clarification with what benefits/tax credits you SHOULD be recieving - you need to maximise your income.

Then, you could contact your local Social Services - Children and Fanilies Team (via your town hall) - they can often refer to charities who help with things like prams etc., in a crisis.

Talk to your health visitor - they can often help with referrals.

We all make mistakes, (and the smug ones on here that never do have my wholehearted admiration lol) - but what you need to do now is to get control, so that when you have your baby, you know exactly what you are recieving in income and paying out.

Good luck.

http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/

Lin

Morglin

Geenie wrote: »

I have never made mistakes when it came to having children with a responsible father and loving partner.

The pill is great if taken correctly.

You have anger issues which relate to this subject! :cool:

Well, aren't you the clever one?

But, remember, pride often comes before a fall.........:whistle:

Lin

moonbeam2007

Geenie wrote: »

I have never made mistakes when it came to having children with a responsible father and loving partner.

The pill is great if taken correctly.

You have anger issues which relate to this subject! :cool:

No your a sad person who feels bringing up the pill will solve her problems. She did not ask for you advice on this and she's made it clear she knows she's messed up, however still not good enough for some.

As for you having a responsible father for your kids and partner to you, that's great, but sadly it's not the case for the OP and again she never asked for relationship advice.

Just stick to what the OP had asked and mind your own on the rest, unless she asks for advice on anything else you don't have the right to question her on these parts of her life.

She made some wrong choices and came on here for advice I think it's a disgrace how people think they have the right to talk to someone.

You say you'd never make a mistake like her's, well lets hope your never in her position because you can not judge her when your life is very different.

And please don't tell me I have anger issues when it wasn't me who came on and blasted the OP, that was you and some others, so have a good look in the mirror and a deep breath.

evoke

Jeez. On benefits with two kids and another on the way. Welcome to the world of personal irresponsibility.

OP: Has it ever occured to you that taxpayers are funding your lifestyle choice of breeding? Shouldn't you take some personal responsibility and get a job first, become financially secure and responsible BEFORE having kids?

poppysarah

alasia wrote: »

Jowo - I've looked into CSA and I know how much I'd get, but the timescales on the actual csa website mean it's really not worth my while applying;

Well do yourself a favour and apply anyway.

moonbeam2007

evoke wrote: »

Jeez. On benefits with two kids and another on the way. Welcome to the world of personal irresponsibility.

OP: Has it ever occured to you that taxpayers are funding your lifestyle choice of breeding? Shouldn't you take some personal responsibility and get a job first, become financially secure and responsible BEFORE having kids?

Maybe you should LEARN to read the posts before jumping in. And yes she has children and she's taking responsibility for them, hence why she's asking for advice because has made a few mistakes- which you've never done??:rotfl:

evoke

moonbeam2007 wrote: »

Maybe you should LEARN to read the posts before jumping in. And yes she has children and she's taking responsibility for them, hence why she's asking for advice because has made a few mistakes- which you've never done??:rotfl:

Oh please, spare me the bleeding-heart liberal attitude! LOL.

I have read the posts. She's struggling with an £80 food bill now. And a third baby is on the way. Which way is the food bill going to go?

I rest my case.