Oh goodness I've messed up...advice please!

alasia

Somerset wrote: »

Just curious about one thing. The previous landlord the OP ran up arrears with, I believe £640 was quoted, were these paid off ?

yes, they were.

wrightk

evoke wrote: »

Jeez. On benefits with two kids and another on the way. Welcome to the world of personal irresponsibility.

OP: Has it ever occured to you that taxpayers are funding your lifestyle choice of breeding? Shouldn't you take some personal responsibility and get a job first, become financially secure and responsible BEFORE having kids?

oh dear... what a load of right wing trollop.yet another tory 'social responsibility' clone.

Witlim

Alasia, I just wanted to say that reading through your posts I can see you are a decent young woman who has made a few mistakes and paid a high price. Please keep upbeat and its good to see your keeping your motivation to sort this mess out.

I know you have these short-term issues to deal with, however longer term you seem like an intelligent woman so you should aim to start saving some small amounts of cash to have a safety net for the future.

I hope it all gets sorted.

Will

climbgirl

DVardysShadow wrote: »

As for 3 kids with the same absent father whose family will not give support, once is an accident, twice is carelessness and the third is deliberate.

It is not necessarily politically correct to say this. I understand your desire to do your best for your kids, but sometimes the best thing you could do for them is postpone having them until you can provide for them. And if you really are into doing your best for them, you spend your LHA on keeping a roof over their heads come hell or high water.

Young lady, you need to buck up your ideas, or you will spend the next 25 years as a victim of the system.

Spot on - well said.

You need to start being more creative in your thinking and taking people's advice when it's given. Saying that your son missed his friends is a crazy excuse for putting nursery fees over rent. Find local groups of mothers and babies to socialise with, there's a weekly one run at my local library, a local cafe has a board up with mother's groups on it. Start thinking a bit more about how you can do things for nothing - he's three years old, he'll forget his nursery "friends" in a heartbeat.

You need to call the landlord, explain the situation and what you're going to do to pay off the arrears. They will be much more agreeable to helping you if you take action instead of waiting for them to evict you.

Also you need to start thinking about what the plan is for when the next baby arrives - you say it's going to nursery at 6 months of age. What happens in the first six months? I don't imagine tarot lines pay maternity leave. Where's the money going to come from in those first months? And once it does go to nursery, how are you going to pay for all three of them? Where's that extra money coming from?

You seem to live day by day, with no throught at all to the future. A few months ago you were posting here with similar issues (rent arrears) but nothing seems to have changed for the better.

Cyril

Crikey what a long thread.

Here's my two penny's worth.

I would take stock, work out a budget you can stick to including an overpayment plan to the landlord. Ring him and explain whats happened and offer x amount over and above the rent due. I'm a LL and i'd take it much better if I knew the tenant had a handle on whats going on and why and how they are going to remedy the situation. I'd much prefer someone whose in control of the situation than have to go to the hassle of evicting her, getting new tenants etc etc which will leave me without any rent at all for a period of time.

Then I would postpone all thoughts of a new job until my baby has arrived and the toddlers are settled and in a routine.

Even then I wouldn't underestimate the physical exhaustion of caring for 3 lively under 5's and it may be a job is out the question. You may have to right off any thoughts of a job until they are older. You could study whilst they are at playgroup / napping etc so you know long term you have a plan to get yourselves a better life.

You appear to recognise that having kids with such a loser wasn't the best game plan but they are here now and if you can get through the next few years you could achieve your goals.

I don't envy you but I'm a firm believer that if you really want something you'll always achieve it so good luck to you and your little family.

alasia

I'm sorry but I'm getting really tired of people coming on here and 'advising' having not read my previous posts first.

* When this baby is born, in July...my other two will be almost on their 6 week holidays from nursery - so no fees to pay during that time.

* In September, my now-2 year old will be 3 and qualify for the funded nursery place. So no fees to pay.

* Also in September, my eldest will be starting school. So NO FEES TO PAY.

* I will have paid off these arrears by April at the latest. I am also carrying on paying the monthly rent IN FULL and ON TIME. So I am not sitting around, waiting to be evicted. What I said, was they will ask me to leave in July when my tenancy expires. I won't be in arrears by then!

* I'm starting an open university course in October (and yes, I will be able to fit it all in by studying for an hour, 3 times per week whilst the children are in bed and at school/nursery) and doing another one next year, when I have finished this course. By then, the baby will be 1.5, 2 when I finish the 2nd course. Then, in 2013 when both my eldest are at school, my youngest (the baby I am now carrying) will be 2.5 and in nursery full-time, and I will start my Midwifery degree.

I don't see how I haven't planned ahead? I simply made one mistake (this year) that came back to bite me on the backside and have so far done as much as I can to rectify my finances; phoning tax credits to check on that, working all day yesterday to earn that extra £100 and some more today, re-checking when my bills are due out nex and making sure I will have enough money to cover them...etc.

The only thing I haven't done today, is write to my Letting Agent/Landlord offering a payment plan, but as the tax credits say I will get a letter this week with a decision on my claim, I'm waiting for that before writing out a payment plan.

alasia

I forgot to answer this post specifically;

climbgirl wrote: »

Start thinking a bit more about how you can do things for nothing - he's three years old, he'll forget his nursery "friends" in a heartbeat.

What happens in the first six months? I don't imagine tarot lines pay maternity leave. Where's the money going to come from in those first months?

* Maternity Allowance
* Tax Credits (I'm still paying voluntary NI contributions remember, so technically I'm entitled to this)
* I will also still do some tarot line work in the evenings a couple of times per week, as well as any one-off work I can do with the baby, such as mystery shopping etc.

And as for my son...do you have a child with suspected autism spectrum disorder? Not making excuses but they don't just 'forget' things, they HAVE to have routine and messes them up royally when something big like that changes.

climbgirl

alasia wrote: »

* When this baby is born, in July...my other two will be almost on their 6 week holidays from nursery - so no fees to pay during that time.

* In September, my now-2 year old will be 3 and qualify for the funded nursery place. So no fees to pay.

I have read through all your posts. You're missing the point - you say in earlier posts you need to send the kids to nursery so you can concentrate on work. But what you are going to do in July when the baby is born and is at home for the first six months and the kids are home for six weeks from nursery? Will you still keep working? If not, where is the income coming from to support yourself? From your description of your jobs, it doesn't sound like any of them will offer paid maternity leave.

Call the landlord anyway and tell him / her about the situation, and that you will know more when the tax credit in a few days time. The longer you leave it to discuss it with them, the less chance you have of renewing the tenancy at the end of the term. And looking for a flat with a newborn and two young kids with your history of missed payments is not a situation you want to be int.

edit - Crossed posts! you've answered some of these questions as I typed.

climbgirl

alasia wrote: »

And as for my son...do you have a child with suspected autism spectrum disorder? Not making excuses but they don't just 'forget' things, they HAVE to have routine and messes them up royally when something big like that changes.

No I don't - but that still doesn't mean you pay nursery fees over rent. I suspect the disruption caused by not having a roof over his head is going to impact him more than missing nursery....

You say "suspected" autism - have you had a diagnosis? If your son does have autism, have you chased down every possible avenue for help and assistance for him? I have no idea what is available through public funding and charities for this kind of thing. But I suspect these people could help you a lot in terms of what is available to you and how your son can get the help he needs.
http://www.autism.org.uk/

Not criticising your handling of him or anything like that - just suggesting an idea that might be of help to you.

evoke

The simple advice is to stop breeding. End of.

Doing some dodgy phone sex/tarot guff isn't going to earn you enough to pay the rent, buy food, buy clothes and live on. Oh, and how exactly will you be funding an Open University course and midwifery course?

And get the CSA to make the absent father pay his share of maintenance, rather than taxpayers footing the bill. Stop trying to be a hero superwoman. Your plans simply won't work.