Oh goodness I've messed up...advice please!

digitalphase

alasia wrote: »

The supermarket thing, well it's asda and they're usually fairly flexible - no harm in applying and being straight with them that I'm pregnant, they'll probably say no but may not...then I leave at 36-37 weeks pregnant, claim maternity allowance for a few months and go back to asda if they'll allow me, or do the phone work again. That was the plan, anyway.

Not wanting to put you on a downer, but I had a temp job with Asda over the Xmas/New Year period. I was hoping it would turn into something permanent for flexible shifts when I've had my baby.

Approaching the end of the contract, I was called in to discuss working future hours etc, and thought it would be a good time then to inform them I was pregnant, but fully intending to work as much as I can before and after, at a suitable time after I've had baby. Could hopefully get childcare free with OH's mother.
Though they decided not to take me on.
I feel this was definitely as I am pregnant, as I have plenty of previous experience working on checkouts from my Uni years, and did the job well and was always punctual, polite etc etc.

I think you'd be better off sticking to the 'other job' where you can make £100 in 3 days.

Yes, it was a mistake to have 3 children by a waster, however what is done is done and you need to move forward from that. You realise that rent is priority, and have hopefully learned from this. I do think you should get the ball rolling with CSA, but that's of course up to you.

Good luck, and I hope you can sort things out.

moonbeam2007

digitalphase wrote: »

Not wanting to put you on a downer, but I had a temp job with Asda over the Xmas/New Year period. I was hoping it would turn into something permanent for flexible shifts when I've had my baby.

Approaching the end of the contract, I was called in to discuss working future hours etc, and thought it would be a good time then to inform them I was pregnant, but fully intending to work as much as I can before and after, at a suitable time after I've had baby. Could hopefully get childcare free with OH's mother.
Though they decided not to take me on.
I feel this was definitely as I am pregnant, as I have plenty of previous experience working on checkouts from my Uni years, and did the job well and was always punctual, polite etc etc.

I think you'd be better off sticking to the 'other job' where you can make £100 in 3 days.

Yes, it was a mistake to have 3 children by a waster, however what is done is done and you need to move forward from that. You realise that rent is priority, and have hopefully learned from this. I do think you should get the ball rolling with CSA, but that's of course up to you.

Good luck, and I hope you can sort things out.

I agree the past is the past and you can't change it. I hope you do manage to sort things out CAB are great for many things maybe call them and arrange an appointment to see someone, their be able to give you the best advice.

moonbeam2007

evoke wrote: »

Oh please, spare me the bleeding-heart liberal attitude! LOL.

I have read the posts. She's struggling with an £80 food bill now. And a third baby is on the way. Which way is the food bill going to go?

I rest my case.

Oh please spare me the little miss perfect attitude.

alasia

evoke wrote: »

Jeez. On benefits with two kids and another on the way. Welcome to the world of personal irresponsibility.

OP: Has it ever occured to you that taxpayers are funding your lifestyle choice of breeding? Shouldn't you take some personal responsibility and get a job first, become financially secure and responsible BEFORE having kids?

I pay National Insurance contributions voluntarily, I have worked since I was 15.5 and therefore paid tax and NI in all that time. I'm no claiming income support or JSA...I'm working - albeit on part time so I do still recieve help with rent but how does that make me lower class than anyone else? Please don't lump me in with those you see on Jeremy Kyle...

My children WERE conceived in what I thought was a loving relationship; turrns out I fell in love with a liar and got taken in again this time, leading me to sleep with him (once, whilst taking the pill CORRECTLY!!!) and as for him sleeping about, he doesn't. That I do know for a fact and I think I know him well enough after 5 years. He's told me about everyone he's slept with in the past 2 years (one woman, and went on a date with another but she left halfway through)

Why people feel they have a right to comment on my sex life and relationship choices though, I don't know.

And where have I said I'm 'struggling' with the food bill?

I try and keep it as low as possible, yes, whilst not compromising on nutritional value and home-cooking, but up until now my food and bills have always been paid as I have a seperate account for paying bills. If I hadn't spent the rent on the nursery fees then that would have been paid on time too, as my rent next week will be.

If I'd come on bragging about how I had kids to get a council house and live rent free, with my flat screen telly, new top of the range car and spent my rent money on having a good time then I'd understand the outrage; but the money went entirely on nursery fees (not that I'm justifying it) and I would like to reiterate; my children are loved and cared for.
Yes their dad is a bit of a flake, but he loves them too - he's just a bit selfish and childlike in his thinking.

And telling me to use a condom is just downright patronising.

Anyway, phoned tax credits and they're still looking at the updated claim I made, apparently, so should hear back this week.

Thanks to those who understood that as a parent you sometimes make mistakes, but it's how you deal with those mistakes that matters most

alasia

And to put your minds at rest; I'm NOT working a sex line!!! It's tarot/mediumship but we're reading from a script, so 'deceiving' the people that phone disturbs me somewhat. That's all.

And finally the food bill. What do babies drink? Milk. What do pregnant ladies usually have an abundance of? Milk.

Cloth nappies, reuseable wipes taking the 'costs' of a baby down even further, and when weaning time comes around it'll be eating cottage pie, spag bol, veggies, the same as us. All home-made. I know how much it'll cost me and can well afford it.

Svenena

Re: the TV licence arrears, could you possibly get rid of the TV for a few months (maybe your mum could keep it safe) and watch TV online in the meantime (eg iplayer, ITV catch-up, 4OD, etc), so that you were paying back the arrears only. I don't know how this would work in practice, as I pay mine annually, but if you could have a couple of months break from what is essentially a luxury, to catch up on the payments you're behind with, this would give you a bit of extra money towards your rent arrears and nursery costs, etc. I'm sure with young children you don't have that much time to watch TV anyway!

moonbeam2007

Svenena wrote: »

Re: the TV licence arrears, could you possibly get rid of the TV for a few months (maybe your mum could keep it safe) and watch TV online in the meantime (eg iplayer, ITV catch-up, 4OD, etc), so that you were paying back the arrears only. I don't know how this would work in practice, as I pay mine annually, but if you could have a couple of months break from what is essentially a luxury, to catch up on the payments you're behind with, this would give you a bit of extra money towards your rent arrears and nursery costs, etc. I'm sure with young children you don't have that much time to watch TV anyway!

To be fair taking away the TV isn't going to do much good as we all know children of all ages do like a bit of TV.

And before people start going on about kids in front of the telly all day, NO ONE has said all day, but any parent who says their child does not watch TV or could do without a TV when they have kids, is well not very honest.

armour

Hi Alasia,
You're doing the right thing in confronting this issue.
Have you considered writing to the landlord directly (the address will be in the tenancy agreement), you may find him/her sympathetic to your plight and agree to your paying the missed month's rent off in instalments, perhaps one-sixth of the amount owed per month. If during this time you recieve the delayed tax credits you could pay off what is owed earlier and have re-built your relationship with the landlord.
Good luck to you and your family.

Somerset

armour wrote: »

Have you considered writing to the landlord directly (the address will be in the tenancy agreement), you may find him/her sympathetic to your plight and agree to your paying the missed month's rent off in instalments, perhaps one-sixth of the amount owed per month.

Just curious about one thing. The previous landlord the OP ran up arrears with, I believe £640 was quoted, were these paid off ?

alasia

Hi armour, to be honest no I hadn't thought about writing to the landlord - he actually came out to fix the heating 2 weeks ago (so about a week after the rent was due) and was polite, normal, didn't mention the missed rent and I've also seen him in the street where he has smiled and said hello. Not sure if this means he's not overly fussed about the late rent yet, or just waiting for the LA to deal with things. He pays LA fees I assume for them to manage the property for him, so I always thought I should go through them rather than directly to the landlord.

I will try writing to him though if you think it would help - however I've been looking at my figures again and I think even without the tax credits getting sorted, I should be able to pay the arrears off by mid-april at the latest. Not ideal I know, but he'll still be getting the usual monthly rent on time as well, maybe that will show I am genuine, I don't know.