Oh goodness I've messed up...advice please!

diable

Sort out the CSA and get the ball rolling as his name should be on a database or something, do you have his NI number by any chance?

You are in a hole and it will an ever evolving downhill spiral if you do not dig yourself out of the !!!!!! as if you are asked to leave this tenancy and have been in arrears' in the past your references will be to shot.

You have one hell of an up hill struggle but I wish you the best of luck.

moonbeam2007

alasia wrote: »

No sorry it's usually £11.70 per month but was a double payment due to a missed dd in jan (paid the money into that account in time, but a charge went out I didnt know about, leaving me £2 short of the dd amount), then another payment was due last monday, tried to set up a transfer on sunday morning to go out monday as I usually do, this time it said the earliest transfer date was the tues, so the payment was missed.

So I'm assuming the next payment will be double again, hence the £41.56 figure

Reading through all these posts and I am shocked at how rude people have been towards you. Your human and have made some mistakes but my god haven't we all. And your clearly trying to find a way to sort these out. You've asked for advice not to be told you've done wrong or question you as a Mother [HOW RUDE] Honestly to all these people who have dared be so rude and question this lady shame on you.

As for your job, your trying to earn a living and be a single Mum that isn't always easy. I can't believe the comments dished out on here and people need to get a grip and get a life, who the hell do they think they are, and yes by all means quote my message and have a dig at me because I won't stand for it so give it your best.

As for the OP, I'd say your doing your best and yes granted made some wrong choices and we've all done that no one is perfect, just try and put away any spare cash you have to keep the landlord happy and hopefully things will turn around for you because life can some times be very hard and gets you down when trying to find a way out of a mess. I feel for you and really hope you get this sorted. No question your a good Mum if you wasn't you'd not be asking because you'd not be concerned.

mel12

Anyway..yesterday I got a letter from TC saying they had refused to pay childcare as they had phoned the nursery (first one) who stated they only attended for one full, paid session (true, and this is what I told tc when I phoned them the 2nd time).
I'm not sure if this letter relates to the first change of circumstances claim I made, and if they might still be assessing my other, updated one for the new nursery

You can call & check this, & if they don't sort it get help 2 appeal.

Reading through all these posts and I am shocked at how rude people have been towards you. Your human and have made some mistakes but my god haven't we all. And your clearly trying to find a way to sort these out. You've asked for advice not to be told you've done wrong or question you as a Mother [HOW RUDE] Honestly to all these people who have dared be so rude and question this lady shame on you.

I'm also appalled at some of the nasty comments on this thread

moonbeam2007

iamana1ias wrote: »

Ah, so phone sex it is

Where's your protein requirement being met from?

Just pointing out that nice baby stuff can be had for about 10% of the retail price if you look for it

Why don't you stick to what the OP was asking about and mind your business on the rest of her personal life.

alasia

Thanks to the last 2 posters - I don't mind critisism or 'negative' comments even but posting about my parenting skills is hurtful; I've brought these kids up on my own for the past 2 years and it's been hard, but they're turning into lovely, intelligent, polite children so I figure I must be doing something right.

Anyway enough of that; I'm hoping tht paying the rest of my rent on time as normal will help the LA/LL see that I'm not just out to live somewhere rent-free, I just ballsed up a bit and I will get onto the tax credits tomorrow and also write to the letting agent about a payment plan, as someone else suggested.

Thanks so much for all the advice everyone, I appreciate it

Geenie

alasia wrote: »

Thanks, I will be ringing the tax credits helpline first thing

I'd really rather not cancel the dd to the tv license people, simply because i had an arrest warrant issued last year...on enquiring about it, it was for when living with my ex - then partner - (his name on license and tenancy) a tv license person came round as he hadnt paid his license fees, and the guy cautioned me as I was the only one in the property.

2 years later (last oct), I get an arrest warrant and had to pay a £250 fine for my ex's failure to get a tv license. Rather not have that happen to me again!

I hate to post this, but why is a woman getting pregnant and even having a relationship with a man who doesn't even look after the first two children he sired?!!! Don't blame the pill please for a third. Too many excuses and not enough responsibility.

The OP needs help and the Dad needs to pay.

moonbeam2007

Geenie wrote: »

I hate to post this, but why is a woman getting pregnant and even having a relationship with a man who doesn't even look after the first two children he sired?!!! Don't blame the pill please for a third. Too many excuses and not enough responsibility.

The OP needs help and the Dad needs to pay.

And you need to mind your own business.

Did the OP ask for advice on having children? NO
about the pill? NO

And if you READ the post the OP has taken responsibility hence why she said she's made a mess on things so get off your soap box as if you've never made mistakes we all have.

MrsTinks

OK shoot me down if you like... but why on earth is everyone having a cow over someone making a tongue in cheek comment about if her extra income is phone sex? Not being funny but seriously this could be something she could consider doing and it won't involve HIV or anything else mentioned... there is good money to be made and it can be done in the day time when the kids are at nusery or at night when they are in bed.
If you are desperate for money to sort things out then you will do whatever it takes to get there and phone sex no matter how distasteful to some prudes is honest money and would sort out a lot of the OPs trouble!

Geenie

moonbeam2007 wrote: »

And you need to mind your own business.

Did the OP ask for advice on having children? NO
about the pill? NO

And if you READ the post the OP has taken responsibility hence why she said she's made a mess on things so get off your soap box as if you've never made mistakes we all have.

I have never made mistakes when it came to having children with a responsible father and loving partner.

The pill is great if taken correctly.

You have anger issues which relate to this subject! :cool:

DVardysShadow

alasia wrote: »

Thanks to the last 2 posters - I don't mind critisism or 'negative' comments even but posting about my parenting skills is hurtful; I've brought these kids up on my own for the past 2 years and it's been hard, but they're turning into lovely, intelligent, polite children so I figure I must be doing something right.

Anyway enough of that; I'm hoping tht paying the rest of my rent on time as normal will help the LA/LL see that I'm not just out to live somewhere rent-free, I just ballsed up a bit and I will get onto the tax credits tomorrow and also write to the letting agent about a payment plan, as someone else suggested.

Thanks so much for all the advice everyone, I appreciate it

Well, the people who never ballsed up never made anything. And I can understand why you want the children out of the house. And some respect for what you are prepared to do to keep the show on the road.

Now, you have got to run a tight ship on money and on keeping up your responsibilities. Hopefully, you will find happier ways of making your money sooner rather than later.

As for the children, you are right to invest in how they will turn out. Don't be too bothered about showering them with stuff - boys can be happy for hours with some wood and some nails. Give them your time and make sure that as they grow up they learn the lessons you are learning now. How to handle money and how to handle relationships, the value of keeping a promise, a sense of responsibility.