Oh goodness I've messed up...advice please!

alasia

sarahevie wrote: »

Having read the OPs thread from 6 months ago she was almost £1000 in arrears to the last landlord in June.

Now Feb (3 months in this tenancy) and she is already a month overdue.

Not that it matters, but the previous landlord was insisting I owed £900-something, I said i was nearer £600. In the end, he did admit I actually owed £640, so, a month and a half, as stated previously.

Jowo_2

alasia wrote: »

He is controlling, and has been abusive in the past (waits to get flamed for having children with an a**e now), but it's more that there's just no point. I ask for money, he agrees but never has it at the time because he's got the mindset of a single person who just spends his money on him. ...

The CSA will help alter his mindset that all his money is his own. If you don't take advantage of the CSA now, in future as far as I know, its getting scrapped and parents will have to pay for services relating to child maintenance disputes.

sarahevie

It's still high arrears £640 - it wasn't meant as a dig. I know how hard managing on a low income is.

I worked for three years for a supported housing agency trying to find LHA claimants properties and it is very hard simpy because of the arrears many find themselves in - due to bad decisions.

The private sector is the same, we currently owe 7x our salary for our mortgage which is huge, hence why our budget is tight. However, I've never missed a payment for anything because I budget very well and know the importance of bills.That's not to say I don't regret the big mortgage because at times I do

DVardysShadow

alasia wrote: »

I'm sorry but what has your first paragraph got to do with me, exactly?

As for my children...the first two were planned. Then my ex left when the kids were 5 months and 18 months old...this one was an accident, yes - but more people get pregnant on the pill than I realised until after it happened.

As I keep saying; I have 2 jobs - one gives me the potential to earn over £100 a week but isn't very nice to do, the other requires a lot of hours sitting around waiting for calls and is paid for the time you're actually spending on a call. £50 was an average figure; as I said before I've made £100 today alone in 3 hours (in the 'other' job), so if I can do that every week I'm fine - I'm NOT spending £60 to earn £50 and to reiterate again; the whole point of putting them into nursery was to get the childcare paid by tax credits - so I was supposed to be spending NOTHING to earn £50.

Well, you took it all quite calmly.

You have set yourself quite a conundrum to get out of. I would say that if the rent gets paid from the benefit, then you are in a better position for additional assistance. If you have entrepreneurial ideas with the rent money and it is not paid, you put yourself into a very vulnerable position.

You must go to the CSA. If this useless dipstick is asking you for his bus fare home, he is never going to contribute voluntarily.

AbbieCadabra

alasia wrote: »

...As I keep saying; I have 2 jobs - one gives me the potential to earn over £100 a week but isn't very nice to do...

you've said a couple of times that this isn't a nice job, needs must though, can you spend any more time doing this at the moment to earn over a £100 a week? with how things stand now, it seems like your only way forward to me.

sorry to hear that his family won't help out . with what you've said about your ex-partner (you do consider him an 'ex' now don't you?) & how he lives, it would be best to get the ball rolling on CSA now rather than leave it or give up on it completely as 'it's not worth the hassle'? these are his children & he has responsibilities!

Svenena

alasia wrote: »

Jowo - I've looked into CSA and I know how much I'd get, but the timescales on the actual csa website mean it's really not worth my while applying; "within 3 months" to start collecting details, "within 6 months" to start collecting payments...maybe not quite that long but bad enough.

Getting the CSA involved might not solve your immediate problems, but what about over the next 16+ years? It seems like it would be worth the effort considering how much your children could benefit over the rest of their childhoods. The father SHOULD be contributing.

Barneysmom

Svenena wrote: »

Getting the CSA involved might not solve your immediate problems, but what about over the next 16+ years? It seems like it would be worth the effort considering how much your children could benefit over the rest of their childhoods. The father SHOULD be contributing.

I agree, and I find it hard to believe someone can have 3 babbies with a man and not even know where he lives or works.
Something not right about all this, I don't quite believe it.

alasia

Yes, I will definitely be aiming to make the same figure each week as I did today; hopefully if the arrears are paid off and the rent continues to be paid in full each month I might be able to get a reference from the LA, if nothing else.

BarneysMom - unfortunately, it's true. I do know where he works, I said that; but as for where he lives, he refuses to tell me. When he left me he moved into a house share (I knew vague area but not address), then he reckons he stayed with his sister...then july last year he disappeared for a few weeks and resurfaced saying he had been living in a tent (!)...now he's apparently staying with a friend. Whatever, I don't care where he's living anyway.

I thought I'd be doing well managing my bills so far, was really proud of myself until I messed up this time; priority is getting the arrears sorted asap, and hopefully I'll have good news when I phone the tax credits people tomorrow.
Tbh, managing to make £100 in 3 hours today has cheered me up a bit, and spurred me on to do the job a lot more.

iamana1ias

alasia wrote: »

My food bill WILL NOT go below £80 a fortnight and as I said, I DO already live off cereal most of the time, saving the food for the kids.

You're pregnant and living on cereal?! That's not great for your new baby, is it?

My neighbour is here with her grandaughter, She has a spare pram for her which converts into a pushchair. She says it will last till the child is at least 2 or 3. It's a mamas and papas Pliko P3 (according to the side) and she got it for 30 quid on ebay. It's like new. (
And none of these people are skint - there's at least 6 figures making it into the household each year)

I'm assuming the lucrative career is either sex lines or prostitution..............................

alasia

iamana1ias wrote: »

You're pregnant and living on cereal?! That's not great for your new baby, is it?

My neighbour is here with her grandaughter, She has a spare pram for her which converts into a pushchair. She says it will last till the child is at least 2 or 3. It's a mamas and papas Pliko P3 (according to the side) and she got it for 30 quid on ebay. It's like new. (
And none of these people are skint - there's at least 6 figures making it into the household each year)

I'm assuming the lucrative career is either sex lines or prostitution..............................

Cereal with fruit in...my 5 a day plus fibre. Seems ok to me! :rotfl:

I'm not against second hand so I'm not entirely sure what your point is...but I'll either need a double buggy, or a sling if my daughter is walking well enough come July. I haven't yet seen a buggy on ebay for less than £80, but will check every day just in case.

And you're wrong about the job - like I'd risk murder, hiv or sti's by prostituting myself I'm not that desperate...!