Oh goodness I've messed up...advice please!

dancingfairy

I would phone one of the debt charities for advice. Get on to tax credits and find out what is happening and in the meantime I think I would use the nursery money to pay the rent with the hope that the tax credits will eventually get sorted and you can pay the nursery - but check with the debt charities.
I also would be considering making 1 payment towards electric and gas and writing to them trying to set up a payment plan - to start once you have caught up to date on your rent.
df
Unfortunately I think it may have to get worse before it gets better in the sense that other bills may have to be missed to catch up on the rent to then try and catch up on the other bills later.
I would be trying to get baby stuff from car boots/ebay/freeycle/friends and family etc.
It might be worth getting in touch with Shelter as well for advice.
df

Caroline_a

Do you get anything from the baby's father? is he working? If not, why can't he look after the children while you work? Sorry, i have to agree with the others, if you have financial problems with 2 children, how do you expect to be able to manage with 3? Additionally, they are probably as cheap as they are going to be now, wait until they are teenagers.....

Edit - sorry, just saw the thing about the babies' father - why does he not contribute though, disappearing act or no...? Has he ever contributed? Are the CSA involved?

AbbieCadabra

you've explained that your mother & step-father can't help you, what about the parents of the father? might be worth asking them just to help you out of this situation, bearing in mind that their son seems to have disappeared? i haven't got any children of my own, but i would like to think if i did have a son that had behaved in this way (for whatever reason) that i'd be doing all i could to help my grandchildren out.

geoffky

Sell the iphone or xbox or skybox...easy really...

alasia

No, his family won't help, theyre not interested.

I havent justified anything...as it is, I've made £100 today but wont see it for 2 weeks - but it's a start.

But how DARE anyone say that they feel sorry for my children, or can't afford them - I made one f*****g slip up and am now paying for it, get a grip and calm down!

My food bill WILL NOT go below £80 a fortnight and as I said, I DO already live off cereal most of the time, saving the food for the kids.

alasia

geoffky wrote: »

Sell the iphone or xbox or skybox...easy really...

I would if I had one...I have an old tv my mum gave me, bt vision - admittedly but am now tied into a 24month contract and no i phone.

I also do not buy luxuries, so please dont patronise.

alasia

And I dont have 'financial problems' - I simply spent the rent money on nursery fees, once, to sstop my children missing their nursery friends. And bearing in mind my eldest has a speech delay and possible autism, nursery is fairly important to him to prepare him for school in sept, I dont care what anyone says. Since ive lived here, all my bills have been paid on time - ok so it's only 3 months, but if I hadnt made this mistake then they still would have been paid on time; and they will be in future.

Doozergirl

alasia wrote: »

And I dont have 'financial problems'

Says it all really. Still waiting for the lightbulb.

You haven't got financial problems but owe the landlord a month's rent, have got DDs bouncing and can't possibly save any more money than you are already?

Jowo_2

alasia wrote: »

My food bill WILL NOT go below £80 a fortnight and as I said, I DO already live off cereal most of the time, saving the food for the kids.

Can you ask the local council to pay the LHA directly to the landlord/letting agent? It seems that you are tempted to spend this on things other than your rent which makes it a high chance that you will lose the tenancy. Perhaps if you can direct the LHA to the agent/landlord, it will stop the ill discipline with money (though granted you have been impacted by an unexpected drop in income). The fact is that the landlord can ask for it to be paid directly if you continue to have arrears (8 weeks arrears, I think, is the trigger).

Go to the Old Style money saving boards for advice on cheap groceries and cheap recipes. A member of MSE has produced a menu planner, nutritionally approved, that means a family of 4 can eat for £100 per month for all meals. There are loads of similar cheap recipe sites on the internet - meals that cost under a £1 a serving, for example.

http://www.cheap-family-recipes.org.uk/

Download the MSE budget planner on the free tools and work through the site to identify where to make savings and up your income.

The following site is a good starter for how to manage debt - it makes clear that rent is to be treated as a priority.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/ManagingDebt/index.htm
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/ManagingDebt/PlanYourWayOutOfDebt/DG_10013291

There are lots of foodbanks in the UK - this is the main site but there will be other independently run ones. They will offer non-perishable groceries to those in need.

http://www.trusselltrust.org/foodbank-projects

Be aware that in the future, the govt is considering treating the self-employed as if they earn the National Minimum Wage when tax credits are scrapped and there is a move to the Universal Credit system. So if any of your employment is a SE position that pays poorly (less than the NMW), you will not receive the same degree of top ups.

Jowo_2

alasia wrote: »

....

The father of my children did a random disappearing act for 8 weeks from 4th jan-last week, finally grew a pair and saw the children on thurs, but whether he'll turn up again is anyone's guess - it's all very well and good saying he "should" pay and help out, but I can't force him to, can I.

CSA - child support that you receive doesn't impact any of the benefits you receive. They are expected to pay a percentage of their net income towards their children. A person earning a national minimum wage of approx £210 per week is expected to pay £42 of it for two children, £52 for 3. That sum would go a long way towards the groceries, for example.

alasia wrote: »

....
Would offering to repay £10-£20 a week off the arrears (plus the usual full rent every month) be acceptable to the letting agent, do you think? Or is this a bit of an insult?

How much do you owe/how many weeks would this take to pay off? Do you think you could stick to a repayment programme because if they accept it (and they don't have to), it would irreparably damage the already damaged trust.