Oh goodness I've messed up...advice please!

DVardysShadow

alasia wrote: »

And you're wrong about the job - like I'd risk murder, hiv or sti's by prostituting myself I'm not that desperate...!

That sounds like a nuanced denial ...

iamana1ias

alasia wrote: »

Cereal with fruit in...my 5 a day plus fibre. Seems ok to me! :rotfl:

I'm not against second hand so I'm not entirely sure what your point is...but I'll either need a double buggy, or a sling if my daughter is walking well enough come July. I haven't yet seen a buggy on ebay for less than £80, but will check every day just in case.

And you're wrong about the job - like I'd risk murder, hiv or sti's by prostituting myself I'm not that desperate...!

Ah, so phone sex it is

Where's your protein requirement being met from?

Just pointing out that nice baby stuff can be had for about 10% of the retail price if you look for it

moonbeam2007

alasia wrote: »

Here's my budget - how do I save on this? If you have ideas I'm listening...

I get £200 per week:

28th - rent £90. nursery £60. £88 gas/elec (due 1st). £40 wages.

7th march - food £100. nursery £60. £40 left + £30 wages - pay towards rent arrears.

14th - £60 nursery. £120 (?) towards rent.

21st -tv license £41.56, bt £60. water £43.50. Phone £30 (from halifax) £60 nursery. Also need food!

28th - rent £90. £88 gas/elec. £60 nursery

4th april - £60 nursery. Buy 2 weeks food.

Thats the general gist of it...

tv license £41.56 per month??? have I misunderstood??

affordmylife

not much from me only well done i know how hard it is. keep going and be happy.

id get lha to pay direct to landlord and then pay off arrears as and when you can £10 or £20 a month or whatever.

also why wont they pay the nursery fees for you to work?? im not much up on this stuff these days xx

moggylover

DVardysShadow wrote: »

Well, you took it all quite calmly.

You have set yourself quite a conundrum to get out of. I would say that if the rent gets paid from the benefit, then you are in a better position for additional assistance. If you have entrepreneurial ideas with the rent money and it is not paid, you put yourself into a very vulnerable position.

You must go to the CSA. If this useless dipstick is asking you for his bus fare home, he is never going to contribute voluntarily.[/QUOTE]


:T:T:T:T


Op, this is the very best advice you have been given. Take it.

I'm not going to give you a judgemental rant, but even I find it hard to understand why you would have slept with your ex again after he had already left you and your previous two children and not paid towards them at all. Nevertheless, I know that these things can just happen for all sorts of reasons, but would hope that you now know to keep him out of YOUR life (and bed:)) and only involved in visitation.

You really are going to have to ask for your rent to be paid direct, which will indicate to the landlord/agency that you have the right intentions for the future, and then make a very tight budget (it really is possible to have a balanced diet fairly cheaply, although it does take a bit of work doing so, the old style board hereon has plenty of advice) and pay off as much of the rent debt as possible as quickly as possible. It would also be worth writing to the agent very apologetically and just admitting to screwing up rather than trying to explain the situation (which we all seem to have found a bit difficult to follow:o).

What I understand least, is why you are not entitled to any help with childcare. Is this a temporary thing because you swapped nursery and they think you no longer have the children in childcare, or is it an eligibility thing?

Good luck, btw. You CAN sort it out if you really want to, and grovelling to the LA is well worth it if it keeps a roof over your familys head:)

Lord knows what you are going to do when the baby is born though, you certainly couldn't keep working at the supermarket and so childcare would then not be provided. I think you might need to do your best to build up the telephone work and make as much as possible from that.

moggylover

iamana1ias wrote: »

Ah, so phone sex it is

Where's your protein requirement being met from?

Just pointing out that nice baby stuff can be had for about 10% of the retail price if you look for it

Is that REALLY any of our business? If the OP is trying to work, and bring up children, then despite the mistakes we can all see she has made she deserves at least some credit for that: not denigration because we do not approve of the nature of her work!!!

alasia

I can see I've made mistakes too

Thanks for the advice - to everyone - yes it was a mistake using the lha to pay nursery fees but I felt guilty with my son asking "go nursery soon?" every day
Not a mistake I'll make again, trust me.

The supermarket thing, well it's asda and they're usually fairly flexible - no harm in applying and being straight with them that I'm pregnant, they'll probably say no but may not...then I leave at 36-37 weeks pregnant, claim maternity allowance for a few months and go back to asda if they'll allow me, or do the phone work again. That was the plan, anyway.

And I'll quickly try and summarise the nursery/tax credits thing; I'm working 20 hours so eligible, but what happened was:

My son was at a nursery A last year, took him out of there in Jan as it was a bit far to walk, the poor lamb kept asking to go to nursery so I enrolled him in nursery B (nearer home).
I told tax credits, he then had 3 settling-in sessions but on the first paid-for session he was left in dirty underwear and distressed.
Took him out, phoned nursery A and asked if his place was still available, it was agreed he'd start back there the next day.
Phoned tax credits again to update them so thought all was well - until this letter arrived.
I'm hoping I can make a new claim for childcare again as I do still qualify...we'll see tomorrow.

alasia

moonbeam2007 wrote: »

tv license £41.56 per month??? have I misunderstood??

No sorry it's usually £11.70 per month but was a double payment due to a missed dd in jan (paid the money into that account in time, but a charge went out I didnt know about, leaving me £2 short of the dd amount), then another payment was due last monday, tried to set up a transfer on sunday morning to go out monday as I usually do, this time it said the earliest transfer date was the tues, so the payment was missed.

So I'm assuming the next payment will be double again, hence the £41.56 figure

dancingfairy

Whilst I agree that everyone's parents should contribute to their upbringing in some cases this is not possible - for whatever reason the OP does not want to involve the CSA -we do not know why but enough people have suggested it that the OP can investigate further if they wish to.
I don't know whether you can cancel the direct debit to the tv licence people - pay this month by standing order or by card or something over the phone and then try and catch up on the arears when thinds are more sorted with the rent?
Also you need to get on to the benefits people and find out what is happening re tax credits as soon as possible.
df

alasia

Thanks, I will be ringing the tax credits helpline first thing

I'd really rather not cancel the dd to the tv license people, simply because i had an arrest warrant issued last year...on enquiring about it, it was for when living with my ex - then partner - (his name on license and tenancy) a tv license person came round as he hadnt paid his license fees, and the guy cautioned me as I was the only one in the property.

2 years later (last oct), I get an arrest warrant and had to pay a £250 fine for my ex's failure to get a tv license. Rather not have that happen to me again!