Should grandparents help out?

FATBALLZ

onlyroz wrote: »

Where is the moral obligation of a grandparent to provide free child-care and interest-free loans?

I believe they have an obligation to help their family, if the help is needed and if they are reasonably able to help, free childcare and interest free loans could be part of that however personally I've never had a loan from my parents/grandparents and as I mentioned I pay my parents expenses for the odd days they do look after my child. I'd suggest though that older generations of the family have a moral obligation to help with house deposits to some extent if they themselves have profited vastly from the property boom (as many have).

thorsoak

FATBALLZ wrote: »

I believe they have an obligation to help their family, if the help is needed and if they are reasonably able to help, free childcare and interest free loans could be part of that however personally I've never had a loan from my parents/grandparents and as I mentioned I pay my parents expenses for the odd days they do look after my child. I'd suggest though that older generations of the family have a moral obligation to help with house deposits to some extent if they themselves have profited vastly from the property boom (as many have).

You know, I'm getting quite fed up with all these comments about the older generation "profiting vastly from the property boom" as you put it!

Had we been renting in local authority property, we'd have been paying fixed rents - not worrying about repairs and renovations. We'd have been able to afford the holidays that our friends who were in local authority housing took their children on instead of worrying ourselves sick when the interest rates reached 15%! Oh yes - we were supposed to have made vast profits when we sold our houses at inflated prices in the early 2000s weren't we? But some of us didn't - we stupidly waited until the property market had reached its peak, and was slipping down the other side - so now, we're in properties that we have paid for - just - but with no extra capital. And guess what? We get no extra in our pensions - unlike those who stayed in local authority accomodation and who now get their rents paid for them!

And - for what its worth - not all of us live close enough to our grandchildren to be able to assist with childcare!

balletshoes

FATBALLZ wrote: »

I believe they have an obligation to help their family, if the help is needed and if they are reasonably able to help, free childcare and interest free loans could be part of that however personally I've never had a loan from my parents/grandparents and as I mentioned I pay my parents expenses for the odd days they do look after my child.
I'd suggest though that older generations of the family have a moral obligation to help with house deposits to some extent if they themselves have profited vastly from the property boom (as many have).

I completely disagree with this - a house deposit isn't a necessity, no-one has to get on the property ladder, especially if they can't afford to do it alone. In my opinion, no-one should ever have the expectation that their parents will be bank of mum and dad, unless those parents have expressly told their kids thats what they will do.

FATBALLZ

balletshoes wrote: »

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I completely disagree with this - a house deposit isn't a necessity, no-one has to get on the property ladder, especially if they can't afford to do it alone. In my opinion, no-one should ever have the expectation that their parents will be bank of mum and dad, unless those parents have expressly told their kids thats what they will do.

Do you rent privately?

If you do I'd have hoped you'd understood how stressful and insecure it can be, always at the whims of a landlord and you aren't allowed to decorate the house or technically even hang anything on the walls. For most working people who can't get social housing the only way to have a secure home is to buy.

My opinion is formed on the basis that if, like for example my parents, I had gained £100ks due to the property boom, I would feel morally obligated to help my own children out if they needed it. It is the young who pay these £100ks of profit, it did not just come out of thin air. Again before anyone jumps on me, I am not getting any help from my parents, I haven't asked for it, I am able to buy anyway, however many young people can't afford it due the sky high prices.

FATBALLZ

thorsoak wrote: »

You know, I'm getting quite fed up with all these comments about the older generation "profiting vastly from the property boom" as you put it!

Had we been renting in local authority property, we'd have been paying fixed rents - not worrying about repairs and renovations. We'd have been able to afford the holidays that our friends who were in local authority housing took their children on instead of worrying ourselves sick when the interest rates reached 15%! Oh yes - we were supposed to have made vast profits when we sold our houses at inflated prices in the early 2000s weren't we? But some of us didn't - we stupidly waited until the property market had reached its peak, and was slipping down the other side - so now, we're in properties that we have paid for - just - but with no extra capital. And guess what? We get no extra in our pensions - unlike those who stayed in local authority accomodation and who now get their rents paid for them!

And - for what its worth - not all of us live close enough to our grandchildren to be able to assist with childcare!

You might have missed me saying this repeatedly, but I believe help should be provided if the grandparents are reasonably able. If you live too far away, or do not have any spare money to help, then you would fall in the 'not reasonably able' camp.

And although you might like hearing that your generation profited massively from housing (those who bought pre-2004 ish), it is simple economic fact.

thorsoak

Look again at the figures please - we bought our first house for £3,250, at an interest rate of 6.125% on a joint gross salary of £986 per annum. Parents assisted with deposit of £325 - 10% as wedding present. We moved into to an empty house with just basic bed, chest of drawers kitchen table & chairs and new cooker. No washing machine, no fridge/freezer, no tv, no carpets.

And - for what its worth - our mortgage was increased three times in order to assist our children with their deposits - no 4 got help when we sold & bought this property.

But then - our expectations were not those of this generation. Sadly, my impression is that too many of this young generation wish to blame everybody else/need the support of everybody else - and yes, I expect that the blame for this is on my generation!

balletshoes

FATBALLZ wrote: »

Do you rent privately?

I have rented privately (I've also in the past had social housing) - and in both I was able to decorate to my taste and hang pictures on the walls.
Being on the property ladder may have been the most secure option in the past, but I'm not entirely sure it is now - so many folk have mortgaged themselves to the hilt because they could, and now with the cost of living getting so high, one or 2 interest rate rises could tip a lot more home owners into reposession. Also you don't have the flexibility as a home owner that you do as a tenant if you decide to move area/move house - you can do this giving a months notice usually with a landlord, these days you can't sell your house and move in this time (and its a lot less stressful leaving a rented property than it is your mortgaged one).

FATBALLZ

thorsoak wrote: »

Look again at the figures please - we bought our first house for £3,250, at an interest rate of 6.125% on a joint gross salary of £986 per annum. Parents assisted with deposit of £325 - 10% as wedding present. We moved into to an empty house with just basic bed, chest of drawers kitchen table & chairs and new cooker. No washing machine, no fridge/freezer, no tv, no carpets.

And - for what its worth - our mortgage was increased three times in order to assist our children with their deposits - no 4 got help when we sold & bought this property.

But then - our expectations were not those of this generation. Sadly, my impression is that too many of this young generation wish to blame everybody else/need the support of everybody else - and yes, I expect that the blame for this is on my generation!

The no washing machine/fridge freezer bit etc is misleading, people didn't have these because they cost a fortune back in the day when they were cutting edge technology, I could now buy a TV every week with the money it costs me in petrol to get to work, the relative cost these days is very low. I'm sure when my children buy houses I'll be telling them that when I bought I didn't have a robot cook or nuclear fusion reactor in it either.

I have looked at the figures - for example my partners parents bought their place for £26k in late 2000, even adjusting for inflation (£34000 ish) I could pay that today in cash with the deposit I've been saving for over 5 years and be mortgage free. Instead to buy the same place I'd be looking at £130k and paying a £600 mortgage for 25 years on top of my whole deposit.

My parents bought a place for what in todays money would be about £200k, it's now worth over double that. Their household income is roughly the same as ours (after tax), but I could never hope to afford the same - plus they had a lot more children than I'm planning to.

Turtle

I'm quite shocked at some of the attitudes on here, there's an awful lot of parents who seem to think they don't have to be parents any more once their children reach a certain age and an awful lot of grown up children almost not daring to ask for any help and knowing what the response will be if they do!

My poor mum is desperate to be a grandma, and it's unlikely I'll ever be making her one as my partner and I don't want children. I know if we did, both my parents would bend over backwards to provide whatever help they could. I don't mean financial (although I know they'd offer to help out if we needed it), but we both earn decent money and wouldn't need it. I really can't understand this attitude of 'Don't expect me to do this, that or the other', it's so alien to what I'm used to.

seven-day-weekend

Turtle wrote: »

I'm quite shocked at some of the attitudes on here, there's an awful lot of parents who seem to think they don't have to be parents any more once their children reach a certain age and an awful lot of grown up children almost not daring to ask for any help and knowing what the response will be if they do!

My poor mum is desperate to be a grandma, and it's unlikely I'll ever be making her one as my partner and I don't want children. I know if we did, both my parents would bend over backwards to provide whatever help they could. I don't mean financial (although I know they'd offer to help out if we needed it), but we both earn decent money and wouldn't need it. I really can't understand this attitude of 'Don't expect me to do this, that or the other', it's so alien to what I'm used to.

There is never any end to being a parent, but this does not have to include looking after grandchildren, there are many other ways to help and support.