Diets & Relationships...

burntfingers_2

Morning peeps :wave:

Hope everyone has a good day

GEEGEE8

Well we had a major row, not just about the text as that wasn't all that important, it was the possible intent behind it and the fact that he flew off the handle when I'd mentioned it, I just can't see how he doesn't see that it's just plain wierd.. I do think he is playing mind games and I told him as much, but he says he isn't and that he isn't clever enough to, etc etc, and he doesn't know why he didn't text, he just must have forgot...

Yeah right.. sorry, but you don't just forget.

I'm not sure if he is trying to play mind games or if he is just attention seeking? seeing if I will notice/care if he doesn't text me first? I can imagine him doing that, he always feels like I don't care for him as much as he does for me, so maybe he was testing? But then if that was the case why go off on one when I did notice?

Oh I don't know, it's all really odd and I've told him to stop being so stupid over things and to be more consistent.. stop trying to attention seek and talk if there is a problem.

It's so hard because I was really trying not to rise to it, as another MSE friend told me to try so when he got home and ignored me, I offered to make a sandwich and I made small talk and it still turned into an argument and it's like I can't even avoid it because he will find some other way to bring it out.

I'm going swimming tonight, so that'll be good.. we did go out yesterday to the seaside and had a nice day, so it's all so annoying that these silly arguments have to ruin things.

Oh, and I think he is getting more confrontational, he squared up to me and got right in my face, wouldn't let me leave the room, and was trying to hold me back from leaving the house so I could remove myself from the argument.. saying he wants to talk to me and got very frustrated when I wouldn't.

I told him he best not square up to me ever again, he said sorry and that he wanted me to hit him?!

GEEGEE8

BF - love the new avatar

jinky67

GEEGEE8 wrote: »

Oh, and I think he is getting more confrontational, he squared up to me and got right in my face, wouldn't let me leave the room, and was trying to hold me back from leaving the house so I could remove myself from the argument.. saying he wants to talk to me and got very frustrated when I wouldn't.

I told him he best not square up to me ever again, he said sorry and that he wanted me to hit him?!

Cos he is no longer getting his own way;) He seems to want it all on his terms, sorry but thats not how adult relationships work:rotfl:

He wanted you to hit him, to prove you are the one with the problem not him, therefore his behaviour is somehow "justified" :cool:

GEEGEE8

Yeah you are right, he wanted me to do it to show I was the bad one...

I've never hit anyone in my life and really don't feel any need to, so it's not going to happen..

GEEGEE8

Oh, and the constant accusations of be being a psycho (cos I lose my rag and get a bit shouty for him to leave me alone), and that I'm messed up in the head, something wrong with me etc etc.. but he is the one that has relationship problems with everyone he knows, not me!

I think the fact that I am bringing him up on all these odd ways of his, he is finding it hard to accept that it's him that is the problem, but I'm not going to be told I have 'issues' when I plainly don't!

jinky67

GEEGEE8 wrote: »

Oh, and the constant accusations of be being a psycho (cos I lose my rag and get a bit shouty for him to leave me alone), and that I'm messed up in the head, something wrong with me etc etc.. but he is the one that has relationship problems with everyone he knows, not me!

I think the fact that I am bringing him up on all these odd ways of his, he is finding it hard to accept that it's him that is the problem, but I'm not going to be told I have 'issues' when I plainly don't!

I wonder if they are related, him and my ex:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

puddy

you know sometimes the saboteur can be a real person, not intentionally, but the fact is all this is not making it easy for you to stop seeking comfort in food

my oh often tickles me if he feels uncomfortable with emotion, when i push him off me, he calls me aggressive. he finds it hard to see that physically intervening on me (tickling me) is both an attack and physically controlling me. this often comes in the middle of a serious conversation, so inappropriate. he often says he needs to 'snap me out of' whatever it is im talking about

burntfingers_2

GEEGEE8 wrote: »

Oh, and I think he is getting more confrontational, he squared up to me and got right in my face, wouldn't let me leave the room, and was trying to hold me back from leaving the house so I could remove myself from the argument.. saying he wants to talk to me and got very frustrated when I wouldn't.

I told him he best not square up to me ever again, he said sorry and that he wanted me to hit him?!

All these are warning signs, one's that I chose to ignore at the time nearly to my own peril..... and if anyone told me that a couple of months down the line that he would have me pinned in a corner with his hands round my throat squeezing it tightly.

I made excuses for him thinking that 'if only I hadn't said something to upset him', 'maybe if I hadn't asked him to put the bins out for me', 'maybe if I made him something nice to eat he would realise that I loved him', 'maybe if I took him out for the day to the seaside he would realise that I am serious about making our relationship work', everything was about HIM. I always thinking if I did this and that and let him lead the life he wanted without questioning him about anything or giving him money or buying him presents to say just how sorry I was.... then he would realise that how much I loved him. He would always be upset if I intended going out with my friends which led to me constantly reassuring him that I wouldn't be seeing anyone else because I was married to him and that because he was insecure...listening to him going on about how badly he had been treated in the past etc. Alarm bells started ringing when he kept telling me over it was because his ex's had ALL cheated on him....:mad:

He started been more confrontational and would cause arguments over nothing, then it started with a shove, I never retaliated besides he was ever so sorry and made so many promises that it wouldn't happen again.....that he was trying to get help with his problems blah blah blah.... I was devastated he was my new husband, the next time he hit me well wasn't even that if I am perfectly honest it was a punch and each time after that it got worse things went downhill fast..he had me right where he wanted me....I had become a quivering wreck, who he had played mind games until I even doubted my own sanity, and he led me to believe that it was my fault. Always.:(

A good book 'why does he do that???' by Lundy bancroft...is well worthy of a read....just helps you put things into perspective....

Sorry if you feel I have hijacked your diary, but I don't want anyone else to go through what I did. The alarm bells are ringing louder each day with his behaviour, besides forewarned is forearmed....:)


Glad you like the avatar....:) was the best I could come up with whilst being at work, but its kinda nice too....even though its only a pic !!!

Enjoy your swim tonight. Keep your chin up too

burntfingers_2

jinky67 wrote: »

I wonder if they are related, him and my ex:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

think he must be a cousin or step-brother of mine too :rotfl::rotfl: