How would you respond to this email, Brothers wedding invite?

podperson

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Well I for one think that is very sad and strange. If you don't know their address then obviously you don't send cards for any occasion such as birthdays etc. If that's the modern age, I'm out!

Presumably since they visit a lot they will give cards in person. I know I always used to try and do that and have only had to get exact addresses for people I've known for years since I have moved and now am now too far away to do that.

brians_daughter

Mme.Hibou wrote: »

If one of my brothers announced they were getting married, and they stipulated no children, if I was to attend (which I would) I would take my child with me. I'd be devastated if my brothers (or my sister) didn't want their nephew there.

Oh and everyone knows for it to be a lawful wedding any member of the public should have free entry to the service.

I realise I might not be invited to the reception afterwards though

TBH i cant see the point in upsetting the happy couple on their day... i bet if they stipulated you all had to wear white you would be the one to turn up in bright blue too?

My brother doesnt want any children at his wedding as his wife 2 be cant have children, even after £15,000 on fertility treatments and she doesnt want to be reminded of 'her failings' as she puts it.

Not many ppl know of their situ just very close family and if someone turned up with their children she would be really upset...sometimes you have to consider all situations before barging in. My brother and SIL to be love my 3 children more than anything and see them 2-3 times a week, but on this 1 day she wants to be (in her words) on a level footing with every other woman there ie childless for the 1 day

elvis86

Thmas_Covenant wrote: »

True, their wedding their choice. However, I believe a truly thoughtful person would consider close family with children and invite the kids too, who I am sure would like to celebrate, get dressed up and have a boogey as much as the adults.
We had a similar thing with my best friend's wedding, hundreds of miles away, where kids weren't invited (aside from their own 3 young kids) and it coincided with our little one's birthday. We were really disappointed that we couldn't take her, so had to decline the invite which was a huge shame. I suppose they could have made an exception, but if they were on a budget they had to either have kids or not to be fair to everyone, and each table place costs money.
If you want to go, see if you can get a babysitter, to not go may cause a rift which as someone else said, probably isn't worth it.

I'm sorry, but this part of your post really winds me up. So what you're essentially saying, is that unless someone considers your children and puts your desire to take them everywhere above their own desires on their wedding day, they are not "truly thoughtful"..? What a load of "holier than thou" rubbish!

I completely understand why you were unfortunately unable to attend your friends' wedding, but for God's sake they're not bad people for wanting their wedding day to be the way they want it!

elvis86

Mme.Hibou wrote: »

I suppose I can say what I did because I know it would never happen. I'm talking about my own brothers and sister here. Thankfully they love their nephew enough to invite him.

What complete and utter rubbish. Presumably the OP's brother is the child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and his wife is Myra Hindley, seeing as they dare to want a child-free wedding.:cool:

poet123

elvis86 wrote: »

I'm sorry, but this part of your post really winds me up. So what you're essentially saying, is that unless someone considers your children and puts your desire to take them everywhere above their own desires on their wedding day, they are not "truly thoughtful"..? What a load of "holier than thou" rubbish!

I completely understand why you were unfortunately unable to attend your friends' wedding, but for God's sake they're not bad people for wanting their wedding day to be the way they want it!

I think it depends on how close a family you are, I wouldn't think of not inviting nieces or nephews, nor would my brothers. To me, they are my family and I would want them there.

elvis86 wrote: »

What complete and utter rubbish. Presumably the OP's brother is the child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and his wife is Myra Hindley, seeing as they dare to want a child-free wedding.:cool:

No, of course not, but perhaps they are not being mindful of the hurt their sibling may feel at having their children excluded from a close family event, or maybe they actually don't care. That could be construed as thoughtless imo.

For a relative so close, I would at least have phoned and had a conversation about the need or idea behind not inviting nieces and nephews, be it cost or precedent.

Tropez

I was dragged to a lot of weddings as a child. I was very, very bored at all of them.

It is quite possible that as this couple has no children of their own they also cannot think of ways to entertain the children that fit into their budget for the wedding.

balletshoes

TonyDebs wrote: »

Hi ya,

got a text message - number not known to me - saying "Hey , Its Christine - long time no see - how is everything? Would you be able to let me have your email address so Bob and I can send one about the wedding. thanks!x"

So I texted back - "our email address is......."

This is the email we just recieved.

Evening,

We are getting married on December 23rd and would love you to be able to attend. We have decided to make the wedding adults only so that you can don your dancing shoes and keep your hands full with glasses of bubbly in an adult-only zone (we're sure your little ones would prefer to stay in waiting for father christmas!).

Please would you be able to reply to this with your postal address so that we can pop your invite in the post )

Love

C & B x

What do you think?? Nothing stranger than families is there??

Bearing in mind that they were invited and attended our wedding last year with our children age 6 and 10, and we thought that they enjoyed themselves.
They seem to be very busy people that are always out making money, we live one end of the country and they live the other.
As far as we know we have said nothing unkind about them, we dont have much contact.Because we have children and they seem to enjoy the good life, no kids etc.
What do you think the underlining message of this email is???, and how should we respond??

Thanks

a very confused couple...lol

I wouldn't have said there was anything underlying in the email, seemed pretty transparent to me, and I wouldn't take any offence at all - some couples don't want children at their weddings, and as far as I'm concerned, thats fine. If you can't arrange childcare and you don't feel you can attend the wedding because of that, tell them, I'm sure they won't take offence, just as you have no need to take offence at the email they've sent you .

burnoutbabe

seems reasonable to me.

if you could not get baby sitters, then could not one of you go (whoever's brother it is). that seems the best compromise, rather than missing out on the day (and seeing the rest of your family).

or find other family members that have kids and band together for some of you all to bring someone along (some univited aunt or older cousin) to mind the kids nearby for the day, there are usually gaps in the day for you to pop out and see them for a while.

andrealm

Personally I would politely decline as we have no one to babysit. If they choose to have a child free wedding they have to accept that some people simply won't be able to attend. Tbh, I understand that some people don't want children at their wedding, but if it was very close family I'd be a little hurt that they didn't want them there. I wouldn't say anything, but I wouldn't feel under any obligation to attend the wedding in these circs.

If you really want to go and have someone that can babysit, then go. If not just decline the invitation.

ali-t

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Well I for one think that is very sad and strange. If you don't know their address then obviously you don't send cards for any occasion such as birthdays etc. If that's the modern age, I'm out!

That's correct, I for one don't send my parents or siblings cards on their birthdays I see them in person. Now is that the modern way you don't want?;)