new nanny how often visit the baby?

Saint_Chris

I feel for you in this situation. I'm sure in the lead up to the birth of your granddaughter, you imagined how it might be when the baby arrived and it sounds like it's not turned out like that for you. I think some people have been harsh. Yes perhaps some people may think it's wrong to feel like you do but as I understand it you've posted on here for advice/support and aren't burdening your daughter with these feelings, which I think is the best thing

thank you

i've gone from visiting my daughter 3 times a week and getting a text everyday

to feeling like i'm introduding (sp) and not receving a text, to a strange feeling.

like i said work hours restrict me and hubby. i have a half day tomorrow, so i was thinking of calling down about 2.00pm but when i left on wed, i said i'll call on friday aft, to her hubby shouting 'we don't know what were doing'..............2 weeks ago it was ok for me to call...........this friday i don't know now.
I've sent 4 texts since she had baby and not had a reply to 1 of them.

And it's not a competition between me and them - in laws, but i do feel hurt, as they never visited or helped them when they moved into there new house. But i do feel hurt that they have been there every day.

I'm probably venting my frustation on here, because i don't want to give my daughter added pressure.
But you can't take the early memories away from grandparents, and tonight i've been looking at photos posted on facebook from his family. My last photo was sunday with my hubby.

jackieb

Torry_Quine wrote: »

It must be a regional thing. Have heard of grandma and granny or very occasionally nana though.

It must be very isolated regionally, because i'm not that far from you and i've heard of it.

Torry_Quine

jackieb wrote: »

It must be very isolated regionally, because i'm not that far from you and i've heard of it.

Maybe it's a generation thing then.

POPPYOSCAR

Saint_Chris wrote: »

thank you

i've gone from visiting my daughter 3 times a week and getting a text everyday

to feeling like i'm introduding (sp) and not receving a text, to a strange feeling.

like i said work hours restrict me and hubby. i have a half day tomorrow, so i was thinking of calling down about 2.00pm but when i left on wed, i said i'll call on friday aft, to her hubby shouting 'we don't know what were doing'..............2 weeks ago it was ok for me to call...........this friday i don't know now.
I've sent 4 texts since she had baby and not had a reply to 1 of them.

And it's not a competition between me and them - in laws, but i do feel hurt, as they never visited or helped them when they moved into there new house. But i do feel hurt that they have been there every day.

I'm probably venting my frustation on here, because i don't want to give my daughter added pressure.
But you can't take the early memories away from grandparents, and tonight i've been looking at photos posted on facebook from his family. My last photo was sunday with my hubby.

I think everyone does understand how you are feeling.(My second grandchild was born this week)

Don't taunt yourself by looking on facebook.

Bennifred

Facebook...:mad::mad::mad::mad:

POPPYOSCAR

Bennifred wrote: »

Facebook...:mad::mad::mad::mad:

Couldn't agree more!!!

pigpen

Erm.. I think you would scare me just from your first post, I am sure there is more to you than that.. I would expect my mother to visit whenever she wanted as she always has and not have a schedule.. you are her mum you don't need an appointment!

As for texting daily.. no.. that is the bit that scares me and makes you sound a tad.. desperate.. but I guess it depends on the type of relationship you have and the types of people you both are, that may be they way your relationship works which is alien to me.

If I want/need my mother I ring and say will you come and she will come whenever I want her whatever time of day.. she has been phoned and come round at 2am on more than 1 occasion.

ASK HER what/when she would like you to visit.. and when you do visit offer to put in a load of laundry, make a cuppa, prepare a meal.. which I am sure you will.. those are the important things being there when you are needed and being helpful.. so many people come expecting tea and biscuits and perfect house.. You could phone and ask if she needed anything bringing before you pop round... I never have bread or milk in.. and biscuits are always welcome

You will make a fabulous nanny.. you care and you want to be part of the new life and your love for them both is evident.. don't try hard it will all come naturally..

balletshoes

Saint_Chris wrote: »

thank you

i've gone from visiting my daughter 3 times a week and getting a text everyday

to feeling like i'm introduding (sp) and not receving a text, to a strange feeling.

like i said work hours restrict me and hubby. i have a half day tomorrow, so i was thinking of calling down about 2.00pm but when i left on wed, i said i'll call on friday aft, to her hubby shouting 'we don't know what were doing'..............2 weeks ago it was ok for me to call...........this friday i don't know now.

2 weeks ago she hadn't had a baby and her hubby was at work - so just call her tomorrow and say is it still okay to pop in.

I've sent 4 texts since she had baby and not had a reply to 1 of them.

that is a shame, and i do understand why you would feel upset about that.

And it's not a competition between me and them - in laws, but i do feel hurt, as they never visited or helped them when they moved into there new house. But i do feel hurt that they have been there every day.

again though - this is not your daughter's fault.

I'm probably venting my frustation on here, because i don't want to give my daughter added pressure.
But you can't take the early memories away from grandparents,
and tonight i've been looking at photos posted on facebook from his family. My last photo was sunday with my hubby.

to be perfectly honest, i have hundreds of photos of my DD as a new baby, in the hospital, at home etc etc but the ones from the first couple of weeks (apart from the 1st ones in hospital) don't evoke the feelings in me that the later ones do, when she was becoming her own little person with her own personality.

You rant away, you're doing the right thing rather than saying this to your daughter. Don't let it take over your life though, I know I keep saying this, but normal service will resume if you just behave as helpfully and as cheerfully as you can in this short unsettling time.

Nicki

Another way of looking at this is that it sounds like the inlaws are inviting themselves there every day, and that your daughter is unable to ask them not to come. But she and her OH are sufficiently comfortable to you to be able to say to you that they need a little time to themselves and would you mind being flexible about whether or not to come on Friday.

I know you want to see the baby as much as you can, but it won't be long before you are back to open access and isn't it nice to be able to look after your daughter a bit by letting her rest when she gets some respite from her other more tiresome guests.

If it is the case that the inlaws don't work, and are in fact making a bit of a nuisance of themselves by hanging around too much, would it not make more sense to be annoyed with them about this, rather than doubt your daughter's attachment to you and to feel jealous?

Saint_Chris

2 weeks ago her hubby was at work, not anymore he's just been made redundant, and he didn't get paid for his last month work.

so we gave them £600 to help them out.

i just thought i would ask on here about peoples feelings.


thanks.