new nanny how often visit the baby?

tara747

Saint_Chris - I seem to recall that your daughter had a miscarriage a while ago, is that right? I am thrilled that all has gone well this time and I wish you all the very best xo

Saint_Chris

right up to 6 months ago they lived with us, and i did everything washing ironing and cooking tea, because i'm the mum and enjoyed doing it for them.

when they moved out, hubby and i went down 3 times a week maybe only for half an hour for a coffee, and she's always text me daily sometimes more than once.

We've also gone bingo at nights, infact we was there last friday before she had the baby on sunday, she text me and asked me.

Hubby's not been down, because we usually go down after tea, and each night this week, when we've mentioned going down, she's said that his family have been visiting, so hubby has said leave it, we dont' want to many people visiting. so since sunday her dad hasn't heard from her.

i went after work on wed, as they said his sister was going on wed tea, i got there at 2.00pm, and at 2.05pm his sister and kids turned up, and i ended up coming home after an hour, as the kids was running around screaming, and his sister was nursing the baby.

I know what your all saying, but i always thought we was close, and would a text be to much to just say were all right and doing well.

Plans_all_plans

I understand you're upset, but I really do think you're overreacting: it's been 5 days. Maybe she needs some breathing space or has felt a bit smothered? Obviously this may not be the case, but just try to stay positive. It's very early days.

candygirl

I was there every day for DD but she was on her own, and couldn't cope at all for first few months:o:oI had DGD at mine at least 3 times a week ovenight so she could get her rest, much to my detriment, as she's having another now and is being a total biatch:mad:
Congrats tho hun and enjoy your grandchild but make time for yourself as well xx:D:D;)

Saint_Chris

tara747...........fantastic memory, yes she lost a baby last year at 7 months (just like amanda holden), it was a hard time.

I'm venting my fustrations on here and not at my daughter, as i know it's not the right thing to do to her.

But i can't help the way i feel.

onlyroz

Right now she's probably hallucinating from lack of sleep and probably wants *everybody* just to go away and let her rest. Don't take it personally and give her time.

balletshoes

you're maybe not aware, but if you're posting here what you're actually thinking and feeling, you do seem to be pitting yourself against the in-laws. If you and your husband choose not to visit/stay long because one of the in-law posse is there at the same time, all you're doing is cutting your nose off to spite your faces. Your daughter didn't say to her dad "don't come because i've got the in-laws" - your husband chose not to go. So if he's feeling put out by that, its down to him, no-one else. What do you suggest your daughter does - tell the inlaws to bog off? Honestly, they'll do that on their own in a week or so .

jackieb

Chris, maybe she's still not thinking straight. Lack of sleep can do weird and wonderful things to a new mum. I wouldn't think she's doing this deliberately - she could be overwhelmed with visitors and just hasn't thought of texting you. Sometimes mums are taken for granted. Just ask her if she wants a hand anytime, or ask if should go round so she can have a bath or a nap. Have you texted her to ask how the baby's been that day?

freyasmum

Saint_Chris wrote: »

Right i'm a new 1st time nanny, daughter had baby on sunday.

How often would you visit the family/baby.

I've got in my head, monday/wed/fri afternoon, when i've finished work.

Also would you expect a text from your daughter daily to tell you how the baby has fed/slept/been changed.

thanks

Erm no. Unless you wanna be seen as the crazy, overbearing mother, in which case go right ahead.

I know it's a terribly exciting time for you and newborns change so much in such a short time that it's difficult not to get caught up in the excited "I wanna drink in every moment" kinda thing, but unless you specifically ask her (cos, lets' face it, she's the only one who can actually give you the right answer ), then it's safer to assume that the last thing she needs right now is the stress of having to accomodate the constant stream of visitors. Her and her hubby (or bf/partner?) and the baby will need time to settle in as a new family.

By all means, ask your daughter if there's anything at all that she needs/could do with you picking up, but do let them get settled together a bit first and.... enjoy your first grandbaby :j:T



Ohh, one more thing, more a plea from one mummy to another... please don't give the baby too many sweets when s/he's older or wind them up and hold them back

POPPYOSCAR

balletshoes wrote: »

you're maybe not aware, but if you're posting here what you're actually thinking and feeling, you do seem to be pitting yourself against the in-laws. If you and your husband choose not to visit/stay long because one of the in-law posse is there at the same time, all you're doing is cutting your nose off to spite your faces. Your daughter didn't say to her dad "don't come because i've got the in-laws" - your husband chose not to go. So if he's feeling put out by that, its down to him, no-one else. What do you suggest your daughter does - tell the inlaws to bog off? Honestly, they'll do that on their own in a week or so .

Yes I was thinking that as well.

Perhaps you are distancing yourself without realising and expecting your daughter to keep inviting you over.