new nanny how often visit the baby?

Saint_Chris

Right i'm a new 1st time nanny, daughter had baby on sunday.

How often would you visit the family/baby.

I've got in my head, monday/wed/fri afternoon, when i've finished work.

Also would you expect a text from your daughter daily to tell you how the baby has fed/slept/been changed.

thanks

JodyBPM

I'd go round whenever they needed me, at whatever intervals suit them best. So ask them! Perhaps offer to help them out by picking up some shopping/running the hoover round, whatever, too for the next few weeks - they have their hands full!

And, no, I wouldn't expect a text daily from them re sleeping/eating etc! They've got enough to do right now!

GlasweJen

Visit as often or as little as your daughter wants you to, some women have their mums come to stay and others don't want mum near them until they've established a routine. Have you asked your daughter what she wants?

Saint_Chris wrote: »

Also would you expect a text from your daughter daily to tell you how the baby has fed/slept/been changed.

Absolutely not, it's your daughters baby not yours and she shouldn't have to account for everything that she has done with her baby every 24 hours. She'll come to you if she wants advice/guidance, until then keep your nose out.

Krystaltips

It depends how often you go round / stay in contact now... I don't see my Mum from 1 week to the next so if she suddenly made herself a routine visitor I imagine it would wear thin... Especially in the first 2 weeks after the baby is born if my husband was on paternity leave...

If I saw her regularly though, I would expect it to continue...

I wouldn't text her updates of feeding / sleeping / nappies / anything else... Why would she need to know?

rachbc

as a new mum the last thing I had the energy/ inclination to do was text my mum or mil telling them how the baby had slept/ fed/ been changed!!

It depends what your relationship with your daughter is like - if you visited her twice a week before then 3 times might be ok but if you caught up on the phone once a week visiting 3 times a week might feel ott. I'd ask you r daughter what she wants rather than risk visiting too much and being accused of interfering or not enough and be accused of not caring!! Plus it depend what you do when you visit- if you are helping them out by doing a bit in the house, taking shopping, cooking a meal etc of if you are just going to coo and cuddle the baby...

moppet_217

I would ask your daughter what is convenient for her and let her know to ring whenever she needs you. Offer to help maybe drop a few meals around offer to take home a few loads of washing to do etc..

In the next few weeks i would offer to have baby for a few hours one evening so she could get out with her partner even for half an hour.

A daily text really is a bit much unless it is a poorly baby. My mum lives in aus and she rung every few days for the first few weeks to check on us and I rung her if I needed to talk.

Plans_all_plans

No way should you expect a text every day! You might expect to get one when your daughter is worried about how the baby is sleeping etc, but not as a matter of course.

In terms of when to go round: broach the subject with your daughter next time you see her. Ask her whether mon/weds/fri will suit (it may be a bit too often in my opinion)

Don't worry, she'll contact you when she needs you!! Give her time to adjust first.

balletshoes

Saint_Chris wrote: »

Right i'm a new 1st time nanny, daughter had baby on sunday.

How often would you visit the family/baby.

I've got in my head, monday/wed/fri afternoon, when i've finished work.

Also would you expect a text from your daughter daily to tell you how the baby has fed/slept/been changed.

thanks

well i think it all depends what your routine with your daughter was before she had the baby ie were you used to popping round frequently, dropping in or did you usually have a set day/time of day for visiting?
it wouldn't even have occurred to me to text my mum with my baby's feeds/sleeps etc at all.
My mum has always been used to just popping in, whenever. I'm the same with hers, we just pop in unnanounced, if the door's open she's in and we're welcome, if its not, she's out.

ellay864

If anyone had expected me to text every day after mine were born they'd have been told in no uncertain terms it wasn't going to happen!
Ask them when they would like/wouldn't mind visits. It's their first child too (well, it's obviously your daughters first) so they will want time to enjoy getting used to being their own little family. In the first couple of weeks they'll probably be bombarded by visitors and learning what to do...once the visitors have drifted off a bit and they're finding their feet they'll want private time. Don't take it personally...they'll know you're excited and want to share it all but please let them go at their pace and be guided by them.
While regular visits might seem fine to you, if they've had a rough night with the little one your daughter might just want to catch up on sleep in the afternoon when baby goes down for a nap.
Make sure they know you're there for them but don't try too hard to be on hand all the time. My MIL rang me so much it felt like she was checking up on me and I got to resent it...once she backed off I found myself wanting to tell her more

Saint_Chris

I've always popped in 3 times a week, and i've always received a text from her during the day, just saying what's she's been doing or how work was going.

But since she had the baby i've not had 1 text from her, i went round wed for an hour after work, and whilst i was there she got quite a few texts and replied to them straight away.

and she has never had a lot of contact with his family, she doesn't go there house and neither them to hers, and since she had the baby they are all round everyday.

They drink tea constantly and when i went on wed i ended up going the shop and buying tea-bags and milk for her, now i dont' have a problem with this, for my daughter, but i begrudged it for them, as they was all there cooing and ahing and i was walking to the shop, as i didnt' think that my daughter should.

Today she put the baby in the car and asked his mum to mind her whilst they went shopping, tomorrow afternoon, they are going to his sisters for a birthday party, saturday afternoon his mum and dad are taking his nan down.

so i was told i will text you about sunday.

And to be honest i feel a bit left out, and a tad hurt.

Blackpool_Saver

Hmmm, how do you get on with Son-in-law?