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Am I right to stop overnight access?
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patchwork_cat wrote: »You will end up not only with very confused children if both parents do not sing from the same hymn sheet, but probably manipulative indivuals. That doesn't make for a happy and secure adult which is the name of the game isn't it? I would personally want an agreement as to how to raise the children.
Now who's generalising!
Sorry, I do not agree with that statement at all. I split from my boys dad when they were 18 months old. I parent my way, he parents his. I haven't always agreed with the way he's done things, he hasn't always agreed with the way I have done things but we both respect each others rights to parent in our own way. As long as our boys are happy and safe neither of us would ever impose our parenting ways on the other.
My boys are neither confused nor manipulative, infact far less so than some children I know who live with both parents. We are constantly being complimented on what lovely teenagers they are, how good their social skills are, what well rounded individuals they are etc., The key, I believe, was to let each other be the parent they wanted to be. Compromise is a very valuable life tool.Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear0 -
why on earth do you give him money but he gives you none, that makes no sense at all0
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Why give him half the benefit when he does not have half the work? He sounds like he is using your guilt to manipulate you into things that are financially totally unfair.Truth always poses doubts & questions. Only lies are 100% believable, because they don't need to justify reality. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon, The Labyrinth of the Spirits0
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:AYou sound knackered and stressed and your baby is still very little. It's exhausting!SingleMumOf2 wrote: »And I admit not everything I do is "right" but I am trying to figure out the right way to do things. If I was fully sure of my decisions then I wouldnt be on here asking for advice??
You'll get through this tough period and come out the stronger for it. It sounds like he isn't going to be the world's best dad and thank goodness they have you!
Your ex has the right to be with his children and your children have the right to be with their dad. He also has responsibilities that go beyond having them overnight and it's time he stepped up to them.May all your dots fall silently to the ground.0 -
Sorry I must add that I do not pay him my benefits. But he states regularly that I should.* Mummy to my 2 gorgeous and amazing boys *0
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Yes it does sound quite reasonable what you have asked. You also really need to look out for your kids financial interests and get maintenence out of him. Once new partners and other children come into the picture you need to make sure your ex is providing for his kids.
It's no fun growing up and seeing step/half siblings getting all that you can't/ didn't.
A court order and CSA may seem harsh but never mind his feelings since he doesn't mind yours! You need to protect your kids and it can be tough. If it is the only way to get things done then do it and save yourself all this worry.
My Dad wasn't all that good when my parent's split and at 23 i've given up hope he will ever become reasonable!SingleMumOf2 wrote: »Sorry I must add that I do not pay him my benefits. But he states regularly that I should.
What an idiot. How does he think you will clothe, house and feed his kids, since he's not giving you a penny?0 -
What an idiot. How does he think you will clothe, house and feed his kids, since he's not giving you a penny?SingleMumOf2 wrote: »I can say positive about him. he is a great father in the respects apart from what i have spoke about. he feeds and clothes them. interacts with the. takes them places. and wants to be part of their life.
It appears he does contribute, more feminist clap trap being spoutedIt's taken me years of experience to get this cynical0 -
SingleMumOf2 wrote: »Sorry I must add that I do not pay him my benefits. But he states regularly that I should.
Blooming cheek!!! Seriously this has wound me up; he think he should have the kids 50/50 and half of your benefits too; but offers you no maintenance to support the two kids. I know you said you didn't want it, but if a man earns £2k a month, surely guilt would make him give you something. Wants it all his own way it would seem.0 -
Reggie_Rebel wrote: »It appears he does contribute, more feminist clap trap being spouted
Whoop de doo.. he feeds and clothes then when he has them; but still wants 50% of HER benefits and offers her NO child maintenance in return.. get real; or are you another maintenance shirker?0
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