Less than 12 weeks pregnant club! 2

abis21

My DD is 6. She has a brother through her dad, so she knows bits and pieces about babies already.

She knows we were trying to get a baby in our tummy, but I'm only 4+3 so it does just seem too early to tell her.

Shes at her dads for the next couple of weekends due to a swap around for easter, so I won't actually see much of her for the next 2 weeks.

She saw me retching in the sink yesterday after smelling something yucky in the bin, so I think she will start to wonder whats wrong if that continues.

We're soooo close, I hate keeping a secret from her.

She knows that babies can sometimes die in the tummy, but when our guinea pig died she was devestated and still brings it up months after that happened.

So I'm worried that if anything did happen it would be very hard for her to deal with, and I'm not sure if it would be the sensible thing to do to tell her before a scan to make sure everything is ok.

But then, I would like to keep her as involved as possible in the whole process, and if I wait til 12 weeks, I don't know - it just seems a lot for her to 'miss out on'. If I waited, then she would only be able to come with me to the 20 week scan.

It'd be nice to have a crystal ball sometimes to see if everything is going to be ok. If I knew things would be ok, then I would tell her. But I don't want to be irrisponsible just because I am excited and tell her too soon and then have something go wrong....

Eeek, flutterby lil - not long left for you then!! Bless yr DS for thinking you were bringing the baby home with you when you went for your scan.

Kitten_Pie

Hi Abis,

Speaking from experience things do still happen later on in pregnancy and children do understand.

I lost my boys at 31 weeks and my 5 year old nephew had to be told, he was involved with the pregnancy from the start and saw me almost daily. He has seen pictures of them and takes everything in his stride. If it is just the worry of loss then I would tell her.

Although I am 16 weeks and haven't told anyone yet, so also understand your apprehension.

cleofish

hi everyone,

ikkle-glad to hear your scan went well, its mad to think there is a person inside, bet it was really funny watching your baby move his/her limbs about.

kavics17- good luck for early private scan as well and for only £10 i can see how tempting it can be to have a little peek as well. for me its about an hour away and at least £100 but im going to be good and wait out the 12 weeks for a proper scan, just because of previous mc i want to be able to relax and tell people after the 12 week scan then.

snowbean- good luck with your scan as well, is it in the morning? hopefully you wont have to wait around all day. With the nuchal test is that the blood test first your having? (or am i thinking of something else?)

littlemoog- i picked up a book in a charity shop on the weekend its called what to expect when your expecting- but its just about eating well side of things and there are some things in there about eating six smaller meals a day (try not to get bloated or go hungry) i know a lot easier said than done and things for sickness, what to eat instead and cravings, you can probably pick it up really cheaply on ebay, i only paid £1.75 for it, a bargain!

The old lady cashier said to me, are you expecting or is it for someone else? and i just blurted out it was for me, she asked when i was due, which i found really weird, as i associate that with the end of pregnancy my head is more of how many weeks i am right now, so the lady knows before any of our family know, i wasnt very good at dodging that question, i just crumbled. :rotfl:

scotishchick- good luck with your scan as well i am sure you will be fine, normally the private scan places have really good screens as well, so you should be able to see all in good detail for you and your dd.

afm my ohs mum found out she has cancerous lump inside her cheek and she will have to go for all sorts of tests next week to check her out all over before an op and possible treatment afterwards.

It hit us for six the last couple of days, oh is so quiet, i dont know what to say to him,(anything i say isnt going to make it better right now).
i had chemotherapy treatment 4 years ago and i know whats its like to be at the beginnning of the journey to getting better and i just feel really lost seeing it happen to someone else, there isnt any sort of control over it.

We debated about telling our family but have decided for the moment to hold off, going to see what happens after all the tests and take it from there, i was really emotional last night, it (life) just doesnt seem fair sometimes (ohs mum had cancer before about 10 years ago and has been in remission since then) so to get it a second time, just seems wrong.

sorry for bringing it down, hoping everyone has a good night, im off to watch obem tonight, it takes on a new meaning now i actually pregnant.

abis21

Thanks kitten pie. Sorry to hear for your losses

I'm a bit torn, and can see both sides of telling and not telling her.

I am obviously excited, and want to share my news with her. I don't want her to feel like she was the last to know. I would love to show her the babies development week by week and have some special time with her discussing it all. I want her to not feel snubbed or left out. I also got bad back ache last pregnancy due to ligaments stretching and it looks set to be the same again as I am aching already - which will mean not being able to pick her up and having to have more help with shopping etc. So I would like to be able to explain that to her, and not have her worried if I am sick or retching.

But, I think I just worry that I am being irrisponsible in telling her in case anything does happen. I know that the chances are that nothing will happen, and getting to the 12 week stage doesn't necessarily mean that everything will be ok from then onwards also. But I would feel so guilty for putting her through anything if something did go wrong with the baby.

Me and DH have a couple of weeks to have a good ol think about it anyways. I will see her for 2 days next week, but hopefully as its a short visit I will be able to keep a lid on my secret for a bit longer.

I have no idea how I managed to keep DD's pregnancy a secret til the 12 week mark. I am such a blabber mouth.

Cleofish. I have that book from last time round, and referred back to it for a few things already. I also loved Kaz Cooke's 'The rough guide to pregnancy and birth' Its written week to week from her perspective and its really witty and light hearted, but with lots of facts in there too. I found it much easier to read and digest.

I was so excited to be chatting to the receptionist at the doctors about baby today! So I know what you mean about that!

Big hugs for the news about your OH's mum.

snowbean

cleofish - we're down to have the nuchal test which is part of the scan, and also the blood test as well. I'm more and more swaying towards just not having it at all. Don't think I'd want to have the amnio test, so kinda thinking that maybe there's no real point in having this first test either?

Scan isn't until the afternoon, so thinking I might just sleep all morning so I don't have to spend the whole time panicking :cool:

Sorry to hear about your oh's mum abis, hugs to you.

Littlemoog, I've always been more of a grazer than a 3 set meals type of person, but particularly when I'm feeling sicky, I find it better to just eat when I feel the need, rather than trying to hold out 'til lunchtime. Many times I've already eaten my lunch sandwich by about 10.45. Is it possible for you to just eat when you want to, or do you have to eat at a set lunchtime?

LittleMoog

lalaland - glad you got to see the heartbeat at your scan. Hopefully you'll already be immune to the slapped cheek syndrome

Thanks for the advice re: queasiness. I actually threw up last night for the first time I've just had some breakfast (yoghurt and a granola bar) so hopefully I'll feel better soon. I've brought a selection of snacks to work to see me through between meals - 3 bits of fruit, the other half of my granola bar, a babybel and a tupperware full of ginger biscuits. Hopefully having something every 2 hours or so will help.

kavics17

I'm really suffering with hayfever, it's such a shame there is nothing I can take while pregnant. Also have itchy eyes but I use contact lenses so can only use moisturizing drops.

I can feel my breasts changing, when do I need to change my bras? Is there a certain time you should get measured?

snowbean

Kavics, just whenever you feel uncomfy in the bras you already have, then go and see about maybe getting a different size. I'm hoping to be able to put it off for as long as possible - I hate buying bras at the best of times

bikelesschick

Hello!

You girls have been busy...

Ikkle - glad scan went well. Exciting isn't it? I didn't expect to cry at all but it was sooo cool!

LittleMoog - when do you get the results of your blood test? When you see the consultant or before?

Kavics - Good call! I'd have done the same. My bro was telling me about for £400 you can get a scan, dvd, keyring, etc. I'm not sure I'd be prepared to pay that much but £10? Bargain!

Good luck with the scan snowbean!! Let us know how you get on.

Flutterby - omg, you're due today? Good luck:)

Cleofish - I got that same book from ebay for about £6 incl. postage. It's great isn't it? Full of info on virtually everything! Sorry to hear about your OH's mum:(

Lalaland - great news about the scan!

Re: queasiness. I don't feel nauseated or sick myself and eat at very random times (eg. I could have 2/3+ snacks during the day or none) but I've found useful just to have a variety of things available and grazing whatever I fancy. The first thing my mum told me when I gave her the news was 'no more dieting for you'. I'm not talking about eating really unhealthy all the time, but between being able to keep unhealthy foods down and not eating, I'm much in favour of the first one... just my opinion. Given the choice, obviously I'd eat something healthier but sometimes I just can't face it.

LittleMoog

kavics17 wrote: »

I'm really suffering with hayfever, it's such a shame there is nothing I can take while pregnant. Also have itchy eyes but I use contact lenses so can only use moisturizing drops.

I can feel my breasts changing, when do I need to change my bras? Is there a certain time you should get measured?

If the cups are too tight (as in spilling over the top/double boobing:p), or you can feel that the wires are sitting on breast tissue rather than flat around the edges, you should probably get remeasured. I got measured at 3+6 and had increased by a cup size, and I'm going again this weekend at 8+0 as the wires are starting to sit on my boobs as opposed to behind them :eek: Lord knows what size i'll be by the end, I'm already a 36G! Hoping to stay in wires for as long as possible, not sure a non-wired bra will be much use. Going to Bravissimo so will hopefully get a decent fit.

Bikelesschick, I think I'll get the results and discuss the appropriate change to my thyroxine dose at the consultants appointment, which will hopefully be next week sometime. I'm expecting them to increase the dose by 30-50% to ensure there's enough thyroxine for the baby - if your thyroid works (unlike mine!) I believe you start producing extra thyroxine around week 6. I'll then have 4 weekly monitoring to check i'm on the correct dose and it's stable, and then extra tests later in pregnancy to check it's still correct.