Please please please help! Pregnant & suicidal over debts, redundancy & illness

dancingfairy

Your boss sounds very unpleassant.
With regards to the divorce the family board is here:
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=24
hopefully somoene can help.
df

vicxzy

Also yes the scan went great so far got another one in about 5 weeks a growth scan as they are concerned about her size as Ive been so ill but fingers crossed thatll be ok x

climbgirl

It's good that she's done it in front of witnesses this time - will help you prove that she's acting inappropriately if you lodge your complaint.

If you can, try tape recording some of these incidents. A friend of mine did that when her boss was bullying her (always in private and never in public). It went to a tribunal and he (and the company) were shocked when she was able to produce tapes of his awful behaviour. His side of the argument dissolved after that and she won the hearing.

vicxzy

Everybody is scared of her, only 1 person will be a witness for me Hopefully I wont have to deal with her again now as somebody else put a grievance in against her too & shes being demoted as of end of the month.
I'll still have to work with her though sadly x

skintdragon

hello i am new to this forum, been reading the thread with great interest.

Vicxzy, I'm glad you have all this MSE support on here; you have done well getting this far.

Your boss sounds like a complete bully. If I were you, I'd keep a diary of the interactions you have with her and this will eventually paint a picture that will go against her. Her behaviour is completely unprofessional.... and to have the cheek to turn up at your house? Who does she think she is? :mad:

I don't have alot of advice to offer you, except to keep your chin up, and keep up the fight. There is light at the end of the long and bendy tunnel! Also, good luck with the pregnancy, look after yourself.

Butti

It's good that she's being demoted and that someone else has put a grievence in against her. If you need to come to tackling her behaviour the best route is to identify common patterns of behaviour. It might be worth having a quiet word with this person who has put a grievence in against her to identify any patterns that could be described as bullying. I think patterns are a very strong indicator. (I used to have someone who rang me about 4 times in 20 minutes rather than once to cover all the points. It was a method for keeping me on the back foot. Her face was a picture when we read out the times of the calls and asked her why she couldn't have rang once. She had no answer!)

Do you have a HR section?

If you want to read up on support available MIND do a very good booklet called 'How to deal with bullying at work'.

Above all do TRY to keep calm. Not easy I know but once you have this little person in your arms it will put all the rest of the crap into perspective.

B

p.s. I worked with someone who was a paler version of lily white for her whole pregnancy. She got nothing but sympathy.

cattyboo

Hi Vicxzy,

Good to hear from you again, sounds like you've made great progress since the last time we spoke (well, typed ) so well done! :T

The fact that you're putting in a pretty watertight formal complaint against your horrible nasty piece of work of a boss should cause her stress not you, you're in the right and she's in teh !!!!!! with nobody but herself to blame. Being demoted isn't enough for people like her, I hope she gets her comeuppance. At least there's someone else willing to stand up for themselves against her behaviour, shame on the rest for being so weak and unsupportive.

Your ex husband has quite a cheek, reckon he might have a bee in his bonnet about you having a nice new OH and a little baby on the way? Little men like him probably can't handle seeing their ex moving on without him. He seems to have twisted his rather warped version of events to make himself look like a victim, not even man enough to admit he was in the wrong! Quite pathetic really, at least you don't have to put up with him for much longer! I have no idea how to counter his immature claim properly through the divorce system but I'm sure the forum DF directed you to will see you right.

Barclays can get stuffed too. Boggles the mind why they've not accepted the token payments, they can't have money you don't have and throwing their toys out of the pram isn't going to help! Have you contacted CCCS about it? A friend at work was telling me she used CCCS (and the super advice and forum support on MSE of course!) to get a debt management plan a few years ago and was really singing their praises.

Anyway, now you're used to juggling with all this then motherhood will be easy peasy lemon squeezy! Bet you're looking forward to meeting your little girl :A Glad the scan went well and they're looking after you both at the hospital

Stay strong and keep us posted!

Lots of love, C xxx

dancingfairy

I agree - the amount of progres you've made is amazing and you seem more able to stand up to this bullying boss of yours. Hopefully things will get sorted for you but if not you'll be on maternity leave soon enough so hopefully the bullying person will have got the message and moved on before your return.
You also should have sorted out a few other things before the little one arrives as well so you'll be well placed to enjoy your new little family.
df

Butti

How are you Vic?

B

vicxzy

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your help, just getting hassled no end by Barclaycard now calling round every 5 minutes & putting spiteful little notes through the door!
They still wont accept token payments, they wont provide a sort code & account number for me to pay them & are saying I need to speak to the monkey they keep sending to my door x