Please please please help! Pregnant & suicidal over debts, redundancy & illness

stupot_99

vicxzy wrote: »

On another forum I was told to 'Grow up & stop crying like a baby' & 'Stop being childish & start taking responsibility for my own actions!' 'There are millions of people worse off than you' (as if that makes me feel better knowing other people are suffering! I dont want anyone to have to go through this!) And worse...do these people think that speaking to a pregnant woman this way is going to help? I like most pregnant women cry over nothing at all! Thanks again for your support, I am going to post the rest of my letters today xxx

Hi Vicxzy,
This makes me so angry, you are taking responsibility for your own actions and also the actions of your ex which you shouldnt have to do. You are doing a really good job facing up to all this i understand how hard it must be just now, but ignore the morons that attack you they know nothing and unless they have walked a day in your shoes they cant judge you, so pardon my french but screw them.

On a lighter note congrats on the Baby girl, my OH is pregnant and we have the scan on the 31st so excited. Take care.

Pookielydia

vicxzy wrote: »

I'm being bullied by my Employer to return to work despite being signed off with pregnancy related complications & hounded all day every day by threatening letters & calls.
Im beginning to think I should just end it all.
Please help me.

I hate to ask but is the baby's father around at all? And if so is he there for you? Sorry if you have already answered this but I have just replied on the spur of the moment and not read the full thread.

Whatever you do, don't let your employer bully you into going back to work, at the end of the day your employer CANNOT force you back to work no matter what they say if you have pregnancy related complications.

And whatever you DO NOT contemplate suicide, you have 1 life and need to nurture it, you also have a life inside you which you will love and care for and in turn it will help you knowing you love,care and look after this life inside you.

People are here for you, and you don't have to put up with anything like you've mentioned, try and be strong and you WILL get through this.

Also I read this in one of your previous posts and thought it would make you smile,

vicxzy wrote: »

Had a dodgy moment of having to rush to the loo & throw up but it really cheered me up

I'm glad to here throwing up really cheered you up :D:D:D:D:D:D:D

telboyo wrote: »

Go down to your local pound shop and buy a new PAYG sim card on the same network as you are on now and stick this in your phone and only give that numbers to your loved ones.

I agree with this, you can buy a PAYG simcard for as little as 99 pence on most PAYG providers, so I'd make that one of your priorities as well

SeriouslySeekingtoSave

vicxzy wrote: »

On another forum I was told to 'Grow up & stop crying like a baby' & 'Stop being childish & start taking responsibility for my own actions!' 'There are millions of people worse off than you' (as if that makes me feel better knowing other people are suffering! I dont want anyone to have to go through this!) And worse...do these people think that speaking to a pregnant woman this way is going to help? I like most pregnant women cry over nothing at all!

Good Grief! On the MSE website? If so I'm appalled. The only thing I can think of is that it's like another poster said 'they are just trying to make themselves feel better by making those comments' (something I've actually posted before), and they can sod off! (frankly)

Even if you were to blame for the situation that you are in (which you weren't), coming here for help and advice is what this place is for. Not Judgement. That's one of Martin Mantra's and I think it's a good one. If everyone had a go at every teenager who spent stupidly on a credit card and didn't know how compound interest worked, (just as an example) then there wouldn't be much help to be gained. Even if people have made mistakes, even if they are still making them; we need to offer support and kindness, and, yes, sometimes we will have to say 'BUT you need to stop x or things won't get any better' but there are way and ways to say this.

Everyone support Martins campaign for financial education in schools (send off that email), this is the best way I can think of to get blanket coverage. I wish NZ had it (my home country) as we're pretty bad (especially with saving) but the UK seems particulary shocking with it's 'spend, spend, spend' culture.

dancingfairy

I think sometimes people do need to wake up and take responsibility for their own lives but clearly there is a time and a place to say things like that and clearly that was not it. There is a vast difference between people needing to take resposibility and those that are clearly struggling with very difficult situations (like Vicxy) where the comment is irresponsible and not in the slightest bit helpful.
Vicxzy - do ignore the idiots - sometimes there are people who have nothing better to do than make people feel small. I hope today goes well for you and that you feel a little stronger day by day and that the coffee yesterday cheered you up.
df

haycorns

Hows things with work vicxzy? are they leaving you alone now?

Pott5y

Hi viczxy.

I hope you are feeling ok this morning and you are finding each day easier to cope with.

I agree with all the others on here about the nastiness and rudeness of some people. Unfortunately people like that are completely unaware of how their actions are affecting others.
I must admit though I have come to the conclusion that all these people work in the collections depts of the banks and credit card companies and for DCA's. :rotfl::D

You will not find a better place to get help, support and information from non-judgmental, kind, caring and supportive friends that right here.

Also the fact that you have a very supportive OH is fantastic. My OH has been amazing for me. I met her when I was up to my eyes in debt. Iwas honest and up front from day one and over the last 6 years she has stood by me and helped (not financially) me become debt-free. I could never have done it with out her.

Hope you have a good day

Pottsy

missworks2jobs

Didn't want to read & run. But well done Vicxsy. Your hubby had an affair, you had to leave your home (which he still makes you pay for), you're work is rubbish, and your creditors are being complete a***s! Yet you're still here trying to sort it all out and hold your head up high. Good on you, just goes to show what a strong and brave lady you are.

Look on the bright side, you have a lovely understanding partner, your cuddly support dog and a new baby on the way and are making new supportive friends!!!! You'd already hit rock bottom so things can only go up. Life isn't perfect, people make mistakes....you're dealing with those and working your way out of it. I honestly dont know what the people on the other forum were grumbling about. Telling you to grow up and sort yourself out and being mean is not the way to go about helping someone in your situation.

I wish you all the best. Keep us updated on how you're doing....we can't wait to hear your success story on here on how you became debt free and how happy you, your parner and little girl are!!!

Snugglebunny8

Morning hun, am glad you managed to get out and about with your friend (sorry to hear about you throwing up tho! remember it well!! ) and hope you are feeling well today, how is everything with the baby? x

debtfreewannabe321

Hi i just wanted to offer my support too, didn't want to read and run, I hope things are finally looking a bit better now.

Barclays is one of my creditors & i owe 4,100 on an o/d and 2,000 on a loan some of your posts have got me worried that i will be on their firing line next - I have an appointment with the CAB debtline tomorrow morning over the phone to sort out what options i have, have you already done this? A huge weight has been lifted even though i haven't sorted myself out yet, just realisation of the mess i am in is a relief in some way,

congratulations on your baby girl btw when is she due? :j

patman99

Vicxzy, it really is good that you met a friend for coffee. Just getting out of the house and meeting-up like that lifts the mood no-end. I meet an old work colleague for a coffee every week, and it really helps lift the week.

Anyway, chin-up & don't forget to start that 'Positives' diary I mentioned in my last post.