Am I being silly getting upset by this?

LilacPixie

Am I the only one thinking the sister is a bit f*** off that her mum has given the OP an item of jewellery with great sentimental value and not the divorcee??

OP yeah your being a bit daft. chalk it down to your sisters bitterness and continue with your happy marriage.

hoogervaaner

Sounds like a rather insecure sister is just putting you/hubby down to try to make themselves feel superior. How pathetic, it probably stems from jealousy.
The wife of a family friend got an eternity ring for Christmas, my husband had never heard of the concept and yours may well be just as oblivious! Now I know she had resorted to crying to get it (they are skint) but the way she told it you'd think it was the most romantic thing in the world.
She knew my husband had got me a book and and a new mug for my morning vat of tea and made a big song and dance about how disappointed I must be. My new mug is doing grand service as my husband delivers tea in bed to me every morning and that is absolutely priceless

By the way they were originally meant to be worn between you wedding and engagement ring so the less pure gold of your wedding ring didn't wear away the more pure gold of your engagement ring. Not terribly romantic really!

LJM

do not let it get to you i have to agree there are always people out there who are out to give a dig at you once in a while,and me personally they are probably doing it just to get a rise from you, i know peeps like this and i dont think they realize just how ridiculous they make themselves look in the process of it all

Mojisola

dandy-candy wrote: »

DH is lovely but everytime I go shopping he says "Buy me something!" and I do, so he's showered with gifts (usually little treats or clothes) but tbh it's always one way. He's very good at woodwork and for Xmas I asked him to make me a bird house because it would mean more to me than a bought one, but he didn't bother which was a bit disappointing (I didn't say anything tho). I guess i'm just having a bit of a moan because although we are very comfortable together, it isn't really romantic anymore - I get taken out to dinner/cinema about 3 times a year even tho money isn't a problem and this whole gift thing has just really narked me.

Do you ever say to him "Buy me something"?

Some men do need to be told very clearly exactly what you want. They're not being horrible; they just don't see things the same way. Does he know that you would really love something he had made for you? Does he know that he is upsetting you by not giving you presents?

At a time when you know you can keep calm and objective, you could have a talk with him and explain that while you know he loves you, you would like to feel cherished, particularly as you're going through a bad time at the moment, and give him a couple of examples of what would make you happy.

Pollycat

LilacPixie wrote: »

Am I the only one thinking the sister is a bit f*** off that her mum has given the OP an item of jewellery with great sentimental value and not the divorcee??

Something to consider, dandy-candy.

balletshoes

dandy-candy wrote: »

My sister rang me tonight to tell me that my brother has given his wife of 3 years an eternity ring, then added how come my OH and I have been married much longer (12 years) and had kids and he hasn't bought me one? He should pull his finger out etc etc.

This has really upset me firstly because I know my sister loves to stir things up (she has a track record of this) but also because in a way I agree with her. He's not bought me any special keepsakes let alone a piece of jewellery since our wedding rings. I know it shouldn't be about gifts but it was already on my mind because my mum just a few days ago gave me her beautiful gold and diamond bracelet that my dad gave to her for their 10th anniversary and I thought then "How come for our 10th anniversary I just got M&S flowers??"

Okay, if you agree with your sister, have you actually discussed all this with your husband? Sometimes you just have to tell folk what you're thinking, and not expect people to guess what you want.

Some men just aren't into gifts or tokens, actions may speak louder than pressies for your OH. Mine is the same, he doesn't do pressies at pressie time, I don't have an engagement ring or an eternity ring - but that doesn't mean he doesn't love me and value me. He shows me he does in other ways, and he'll buy me things or give me money as a surprise to go get exactly what I want when I least expect it (ie not traditional pressie time, birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas etc).

If it bothers you, talk to your OH - your 2 views are the only important ones, no-one elses.

ETA - after reading your second post OP, I think you should also tell your OH that you are feeling a bit down/fragile/worn out right now. Just telling him will probably make you feel a bit better.
I know when I'm feeling like that my OH probably won't notice, because I'm pretty good (even though I don't feel like it at the time) at going through the motions and looking like its business as usual.

norris88

I may be totally wrong here but I thought an eternity ring was given in relationships where they chose not to get married, as a sign of commitment / whatever. When you get married you've got your wedding ring, you've already proven you expect to be together for "eternity". *confused*

jackieb

dandy-candy wrote: »

Someone asked about my sister's status - she divorced about 10 years ago and never met a guy to settle with again, she hasn't had a boyfriend for over 4 years now. She does love having a dig at me if not about my DH then it's about my weight or appearance etc.

She's not one to talk to you about your marriage! Of course you're fragile just now, especially with your mum. And we all go through times when we feel unappreciated (i've been married for 24 years so i've been there, especially when my dh bought me a Dyson for my birthday one year!) I'm not materialistic, and I don't care about stuff, but it is nice to get a little something just to show you're appreciated. I think i've had flowers about half a dozen times in 25 years. In all honesty I think they're a waste of money, but still nice to get. No wonder men get confused!

zfrl

norris88 wrote: »

I may be totally wrong here but I thought an eternity ring was given in relationships where they chose not to get married, as a sign of commitment / whatever. When you get married you've got your wedding ring, you've already proven you expect to be together for "eternity". *confused*

No they are a fabulous invention by DeBeers. How to use small diamonds up & make a fortune!

Pollycat

norris88 wrote: »

I may be totally wrong here but I thought an eternity ring was given in relationships where they chose not to get married, as a sign of commitment / whatever. When you get married you've got your wedding ring, you've already proven you expect to be together for "eternity". *confused*

Found by Googling:

How Long Is An Eternity?
Opinions vary widely as to an appropriate time for the giving and receiving of an eternity ring.
De Beers and the Diamond Promotion Service would have you all believe that the first wedding anniversary is the right time. I suppose it beats paper!
Others believe that the birth of the first child is an appropriate time, and if most men could empathise with their wives over the pain of childbirth, I am sure they would gladly prefer to buy an eternity ring, than to go through the alternative.