Am I being silly getting upset by this?

Penny-Pincher!!

She is sh*t stirring! Just smile sweetly, raise above it and IGNORE!!

Sounds like my sister who has a less than wonderful track record of going through men and friends.

Chin up!!

PP
xx

74jax

You've had 12 years of marriage, your brother has had 3.

He bought a ring but they could split up in a year or so from now. I bet you'd rather have your 12 years of marriage.

If it means a lot to you then this conversation should be with your husband. Maybe you could both buy each other something to keep for your next anniversary?

A wedding ring is both of you committing to each other for eternity.

Nottoobadyet

My OH's family are really into buying (very inexpensive) jewellery for me. Its all completely not my style, and some of it ugly as sin!

I can never make myself wear anything they buy, some of the nicer ones I try to pass off to friends with a more dainty style. Whenever OH goes back to visit they pressure him into buying more of this unattractive, hyper feminine stuff that, again, I never wear.

Buying jewellery can be a minefield. Why not ask that your hubby arrange a weekend away for your next anniversary? Much more romantic than any trinket, and if hes anything like my OH he'll be much better at planning that than picking sparkly things!

geri1965_2

My first boyfriend bought me an eternity ring (only a cheap one with cubic zirconia, we were teenagers when we met although we went out for 6 1/2 years).

When we split up I threw it in the river.

nickyhutch

What have you bought for your husband since his wedding ring?

[Deleted User]

When i come to buy my wife an eternity ring (married 2 1/2 years so far) i'll be taking her with me. She's awesome at haggling jewellery! Not to mention; she's got to wear so she should be involved in buying it (like she was with her engagement ring)

OP, do you and your OH have the money? Have you ever mentioned that you'd like an eternity ring? Some blokes just don't even think about stuff like that.

I do think flowers for a 10 year anniversary is a bit rubbish though..

jcr16

try not to let it worry you. as i've found out there will always be someone who wants a dig, or to pass a nasty commment for a reaction.

i don't have an eternity ring,been married 9 yrs this yr) and it not that hubby hasn't tried to buy me one, i just can't find one i like. my engagement ring is so stunning and nice , that i don't want anthing to take away from it's beauty i'd like something to compliment it. and i just can't find anything.

but what counts the most is i have a truely wonderful husband. he is all mine, i don't have to use the term hubby loosly and call him my hubby when he isn't. for me that gives me more pride and enjoyment than any extra ring could. the ring we exchanged on our wedding day is the most important ring to me, because along with it came promises . you can't buy that.

dandy-candy

Thank you so much for all the replies, and also it's great to have some input from guys too on this subject.
Having slept on it and read through the above I really see now that it's more to do with feeling a bit low at the moment about other things (my mum is at the end stages of cancer - that's why she gave me her bracelet) and I have been feeling like the skivvy at home for a while now so my sister's comments really hit a nerve.
Someone asked about my sister's status - she divorced about 10 years ago and never met a guy to settle with again, she hasn't had a boyfriend for over 4 years now. She does love having a dig at me if not about my DH then it's about my weight or appearance etc. I don't know why i've kept in touch with her tbh but I think it's probably so mum doesn't get upset by a family rift.
DH is lovely but everytime I go shopping he says "Buy me something!" and I do, so he's showered with gifts (usually little treats or clothes) but tbh it's always one way. He's very good at woodwork and for Xmas I asked him to make me a bird house because it would mean more to me than a bought one, but he didn't bother which was a bit disappointing (I didn't say anything tho). I guess i'm just having a bit of a moan because although we are very comfortable together, it isn't really romantic anymore - I get taken out to dinner/cinema about 3 times a year even tho money isn't a problem and this whole gift thing has just really narked me.

Katie-Kat-Kins

Yes you are being silly.

Eternity rings are an invention of jewellers to try and eek more money out of poor hen pecked men, the same as this alleged "tradition" that an engagement ring should cost a month's salary (or three months as I'm starting to hear now!).

To be honest when I think about eternity rings those nasty old fashioned three piece sets come to mind anyway......

Don't worry about it too much, there is no point having an eternity ring if you don't like the ring and if there isn't the right sentiment behind it. If you really want one tell your husband that you would like one for your next significant milestone (not necessarily anniversary) and point out a style you like, or tell him you'd like him to take you out (to the jewellery quarter or hatton garden) to choose it.

They aren't essential though, and a lot of the people I know who have them have them for a reason, normally because their engagement ring was slightly lacking or because they don't like wearing their engagement ring, or it has been damaged, or gone hoplessly out of fashion or no longer fits.

I can't think of anyone whose husband came to the hospital after the birth of their first child armed with a ring, an expensive ring is the last thing on your mind when you are preparing for the arrival of a child. And to be honest if he does, what does he do when the second or third child arrives? If he doesn't spend the same does that mean he values them less?

Chill out about it and tell your sister to get a grip. If you are feeling a cow smile sweetly and say "ah but my husband gave me the most precious gift possible, my two beautiful children, we don't need material possessions to show the world how much we love each other".

And if generally you would like your husband to buy you jewellery as a gift, find a shop that sells jewellery that is a good range of prices and in your style, go there with him and admire the jewellery that they have. Then next christmas/birthday/anniversary tell him you would like some jewellery just like you would if you wanted anything else and suggest he visits the shop and picks something as a surprise. My husband buys me jewellery regularly because he considers it an "easy" present and knows I will appreciate it. Not expensive stuff, mainly silver set with amber or peridot or moonstone etc but it is a lovely keepsake and I do enjoy wearing it!

Nottoobadyet

Hugs, Dandy! It sounds like you're having a rough time and your sister is being a bit of a !£"$ by stirring up trouble! Maybe she is hurting more than usual because her siblings have partners to support them through your mom's illness, while she does not. Its not an excuse for her behaviour, but surely its a pretty lonely place to be.

At a time when things are less emotional, you could make a concerted effort to re-spark things with hubby. In the meantime, let him be there for you as support. That comfortable together place may not be too exciting, but so many people would give their left arm for it!