Am I being silly getting upset by this?

jackieb

Is your sister married?

victor2

I've been married more than twice as long as you and have not given my wife an eternity ring. We have a major anniversary coming up this year and a holiday to celebrate is probably on the cards. I'm sure she'd like a ring, but I know she'd prefer a holiday!
Sis is stirring, perhaps through her own insecurity. Leave her to it and enjoy your own life.

csh_2

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

If I were to be a mean, spiteful, stirring person, I'd be asking the sister what her husband has been up to that he has bought an eternity ring within 36 months of their marriage in an attempt to compensate for?

If you read the post properly, its not the sisters husband. It is the OP's brother that has given his wife a ring and the sister is just stirring by passing comment. Sounds like you and her would get on great.

donquine

I don't think many people will share my opinion, but when I get married, I don't want an engagement ring, let alone eventually an eternity ring. Wearing more than one ring on my hand would feel uncomfortable for me - I'd only want to wear a wedding band. I know a lot of women get their wedding rings cut so that their engagement rings fit neatly against them, but it would still feel 'bulky' to me.

I'm not sure that buying an eternity ring for their wives is something most men would consider doing without getting the idea from someone else first - whether that be the wife herself, a female relative, etc.

If you really want one, I think you will need to give your DH a nudge.

One of the other posters asked a very good question about what you have bought for your DH. Have you bought him any kind of keepsake? If not, where would he get the idea from? You also have to bear in mind that from the man's perspective, he's been buying you flowers every year for over a decade and it always seems to go down well - why rock the status quo?

Talk to him - he's not psychic. If you want something other than flowers every once in a while, I'm sure he would be happy to put more money aside and get you something more special, perhaps for your 15th as that's the next big milestone for you two. Often we let ourselves get wound up about things our partners wouldn't even consider to be an issue - sometimes all it takes is a few words.

Oh and stop letting your sister wind you up! She clearly knows your triggers - don't let her get to you!

gratefulforhelp_2

Eternity rings are just fluff, nice fluff, but just fluff.

Dh has promised me one in 2012...I probably won't get it and we'll probably spend the money on something practical instead...and it would never have occurred to him had someone not mentioned it.

I bet lots of people don't know what an eternity ring is.

missbishi

At least the flowers were from M&S! They will have cost a fortune! Don't let sis get the better of you, she's more than likely spent years of her life being jealous of your long and successful marriage!

Pollycat

dandy-candy
I do think you're a bit silly to let this upset you to the extent it seems to have - but much more than that, I think your sister sounds like an appalling biatch.

Did she ring for a chat and drop this into the conversation or was she gagging to let you know with the intention of stirring things up?

Do you know the exact circumstances about the purchase of this ring?
For all you know, your SIL could have been banging on about having an eternity ring for ages so your brother bought her one to shut her up.
Or she may even have chosen it herself and sent him off to pay for it.
Not much sentiment in either of those scenarios, is there?

As others have said, not every man is romantic.
What matters (to me at least) is how he treats you on a day-to-day basis not what sparkly bit of fluff you have on your finger.

If you're happy with your life, I'd work on deflecting your sister's barbs.
If she thinks she's not succeeding getting a rise out of you, she'll soon find another target.

alexlyne

My wife's got 2 rings on her finger that I've given her. I hope she's not after a third...

I've never bought her jewellry in the 6 years we've been together - I've thought about it sure. But her family (especially her mother) is always buying her bling and she's got mountains of earrings/necklaces etc, so if I bought her something then it would just go in a drawer and cycled with everything else. Thankfully she only wears one set at a time.

Sambucus_Nigra

dandy-candy wrote: »

My sister rang me tonight to tell me that my brother has given his wife of 3 years an eternity ring, then added how come my OH and I have been married much longer (12 years) and had kids and he hasn't bought me one? He should pull his finger out etc etc.

This has really upset me firstly because I know my sister loves to stir things up (she has a track record of this) but also because in a way I agree with her. He's not bought me any special keepsakes let alone a piece of jewellery since our wedding rings. I know it shouldn't be about gifts but it was already on my mind because my mum just a few days ago gave me her beautiful gold and diamond bracelet that my dad gave to her for their 10th anniversary and I thought then "How come for our 10th anniversary I just got M&S flowers??"

I'd say that perhaps materialistic things are more 'in' with your family than perhaps his?

I find this sort of thing quite amusing - you marry a man presumably because you admire the way he is then when he doesn't match up to YOUR expectations, you get upset.

JoJoB

I don't think my husband would even know what an eternity ring is! He's bought me flowers 3 times in 19 years - each time I was flabbergasted. But he has given me the gift of himself, which is all I really want.

Seriously, are you just feeling a little bit taken-for-granted at the moment and life has become a little mundane? Times like this we need to feel special and appreciated again and if hubby doesn't read our minds and act immediately with a lovely romantic gesture then random horrid comments like that from your sister take on a much bigger significance than they should.

If I were you I would ring the sister back and ask her exactly what she meant. Put her on the spot and make her explain herself. And when she criticises your husband tell her that it is not her place to do so, it is very rude and presumptious of her to tell you what to expect from your own partner, that he makes you very very happy in a way that no item of jewellery ever could, and that she should concentrate on her own life instead of attempting to cause upset in others.

Then tell your husband all about it. He'll probably buy you something nice in appreciation ;-)