Am I being silly getting upset by this?

dandy-candy

My sister rang me tonight to tell me that my brother has given his wife of 3 years an eternity ring, then added how come my OH and I have been married much longer (12 years) and had kids and he hasn't bought me one? He should pull his finger out etc etc.

This has really upset me firstly because I know my sister loves to stir things up (she has a track record of this) but also because in a way I agree with her. He's not bought me any special keepsakes let alone a piece of jewellery since our wedding rings. I know it shouldn't be about gifts but it was already on my mind because my mum just a few days ago gave me her beautiful gold and diamond bracelet that my dad gave to her for their 10th anniversary and I thought then "How come for our 10th anniversary I just got M&S flowers??"

sarahlouise210

Some people just are not as thoughtful or romantic as others - it probably does not mean he loves you any less. Your sister does appear to be stirring it but it would not upset me that he has not bought me an eternity ring - it would upset me that my sister was so thoughtless though x

southernscouser

dandy-candy wrote: »

He's not bought me any special keepsakes let alone a piece of jewellery since our wedding rings.

How come for our 10th anniversary I just got M&S flowers??"

What have you given him and what did you get him for your anniversary?

Money_maker

She is just planting the seeds of doubt in your mind. Some men don't think to do jewellery - the number of times my OH brings me flowers instead of chocolate, urrggghh (and he doesn't know how to pick the best bunch).

You've been married for 12 years and thats worth more than a piece of metal.

Having said that, perhaps with Valentines Day coming up, you could point out something nice in a jewellers and drop a few hints? Ensure they are big hints as most men are a bit slow on the uptake (sorry any male readers).

diable

Has your Brother given his wife any children?

Also get over it maybe he isn't the namby pamby type to think about jewellery as it does work both ways if you are happy then let it be.

BitterAndTwisted

Honestly? Yes, I do think you are being silly. But it seems that your sister's work at winding you up and sewing the seeds of resentment has succeeded. Nice sister

mandi

Its a ring . He's a man . He bought you flowers , which means he remembered and loves you to bits I imagine .

Don't dwell on it

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

If I were to be a mean, spiteful, stirring person, I'd be asking the sister what her husband has been up to that he has bought an eternity ring within 36 months of their marriage in an attempt to compensate for?

MrsRogers

I understand how you feel but I guess you need to have a conversation with your Hubby.

Remember marriage is about the two of you and not something material!

Some men just dont consider it ... I dont think they are being less thoughtful he probably just hasn't thought he needed to or had to.

Also not sure of your circumstances financially but maybe he thought he would rather spend any extra cash on a holiday you have all had or something else has come up and taken any money saved. Peoples priorities and circumstances are different.

If you have been married 12 years maybe on your next anniversary tell him you would like your 15th marked with a keepsake??

Playing devils advocate.... have you given him anything special? Sometimes works both ways:o

BitterAndTwisted

Eh, he's probably impotent and is over-compensating. The kind of couples who have to keep telling everybody else how marvellous their marriage is are usually the ones who are less than blissfully happy

diable

Also, its not material things that count but the love that is there, don't get wound up the sister is jealous and spiteful.......