Hubby hit me

shelley_crow

op, if you were my daughter, i'd travel a million miles to make sure you and your children were safe and away from this ar5ehole. i don't think there would be many mothers who wouldn't. can't guarantee i wouldn't kill him because god knows i'd be sorely tempted.

take the advice that mse'rs have given you and make a better life away from this dysfunctional individual with your kids. make sure you get away and take any important documents with you to the police station so you don't have to go back.

He doesn't deserve you or your four children and you and your children dont deserve the treatment he has been meting out to you. he's really not worth ending your life over when you can have a better life without him. would you be happy leaving your kids with him knowing how he lashes out? they need you more than ever. good luck, you have the strength to do this x

marmitepotato

Reading this thread has made me cry. I was in an abusive relationship for 16 years. My partner was in the forces so we travelled round the world. I didnt have anyone to support me and if i had reported the abuse it would have been me that was homeless as I was not entitled to married quarters. I didnt have any money to fly myself and my child home either. I just put up with the physical and mental abuse with the hope that one day I would get away.

Partner left the forces and we came back to the UK. The beatings continued. After one particularly bad beating I went to the doctors, they recorded my injuries and asked me if I wanted to call the police? I was terified of OH and what he would do to me if I did call the police (only someone who has been abused can understand this). I was also frightened of telling my family, I felt somehow that I had failed and was ashamed to let them know that I had let this abuse carry on. In the end I told my Dad, I had to leave the house with my child and ring my dad from a phone box in a different part of town. I was so so scared of my OH finding me.

My Dad took me to his house, he went round to see my OH, who immediatly crumbled as he had been 'found out'. We never went back. That was 15 years ago now, I used to occasionally see him when i was out and about and I was, and am still frightened of him now. The feeling will never go away.

It took me 16 years to pluck up the courage to go, and only you know how you feel inside. If you feel that you cant go, make an appointment with the doctor. Tell your OH you are not well. When you get there tell the doc whats going on...they can help. I wish to god I had taken their help when they offered it.

At the moment you feel you have no choices and no where to go but there are people that can help you, you just have to be brave and take that very first step to help yourself and your children. All of us here are behind you every step of the way. My heart and love goes out to you.

go_cat

Remember you are your children are worth more than this .......

hope you use today while he is at work to get sorted

good luck

Bloomin_Freezing2

Mummy29, I do hope you have managed to get some sleep last night to enable you to think straight this morning.

I have not been in your position but have heard so many times that once these things start they will continue. He did not hit you once, he hit you twice. No excuses he can make will get him out of this, and I hope you do not allow him to.

The fact that he has beem mentally bullying you too is a great cause for concern, he really is trying to beat you down as much as he can.

There is only ONE way forward here, remove him from your lives. This will affect your children, how would you feel if your sons (if you have any) beat their partners when they are older? Or if your daughter was in an abusive relationship? Would you encourage her to stick with it? I certainly would not.

Please, please, please do something, and do it quick. xxx

ticklepenny_2

Mummy29, the first step is the hardest but is well worth taking.

I had the misfortune of being on the receiving end in a previous relationship. My head was all over the place the first time it happened, and the second, third, fourth. It wasnt until I was on the phone to a close friend who mentioned I hadnt sounded happy recently that I broke down and told her what had happened. She was the one to get me away from the situation, she lived 50 miles away but came to get me that day whilst he was at work. I left everything apart from a few clothes and personal documents. I had about £20 to my name, and walked out of my job the same day. It was difficult but I am so happy that I did it. Now I know that I didnt have 4 children but they are all the more reason for you to get away. The help is there for you, but only you can take that first step. And although it isnt easy, being able to say that you and your children are safe is more than worth it.

Speak to friends or family, agencies or police. Whoever you feel you can speak to. If one of my friend/family group with 4 kids needed to stay I wouldnt hesitate, even though I have a small 2 bed, there is a sofa and a floor, spare blankets. Its not ideal but its safe.

The safety of your kids and yourself is the most important thing here.

Please, please, please speak to someone. You have already been extremely brave by posting on here, but we can only help so far. If you would like to talk dont hesitate to PM me.

dizzybuff

I hope the OP is ok , But please all posters be aware domestic violence happens to everyone , male , female, straight , gay , transexual and of every creed and colour . No one is immune. An abuser is just that , whatever sex they are an abuser of a position, wther its a husband , wife , sibling , carer , or relative .

Good luck to the OP and I hope shes got strength from all the wonderful people who have posted . Many who are domestic violence survivors them selves, my hat goes off to each and everyone of you for having the courage to do something about the situation you were put in by a loved one who you trusted .

xxxx to all Diz.

Desperate_Housewife_2-2

I just logged on to see if you are ok mummy29, please post if you can to let us know you are safe...

You mentioned in one of your earlier posts that you didnt want him to know you had been talking about it on here so dont forget 'tool' 'internet options' 'delete browsing history' so he cant look on the computer to see what youve been looking at ((hugs)) stay safe we are all thinking of you x

facingthefuture

Thinking of you Mummy29. I think you know what is best to do yourself, but it's so hard. Try and get a photo of your injury today, maybe even a witness to it.

Have you a friend anywhere nearby you can visit? Incidentally the £60 child benefit and this situation is exactly why it should not have been removed from any mum. He sounds like he has been controlling you and breaking your confidence for some time...it is escalating.

If you do decide to act remember to notify the school. Calm yourself, take a deep breath when you need to and let your shoulders drop and push your tummy out. You will get through this.

Good advice to look at your children, have a photo handy in your wallet and think, what sort of home environment do they need. I think a safe one has to come first. How you do this is your choice but please get help.Take care of yourself.

((((Big hug)))))))))

ali-t

The OP may have been on as she said in her OP that the username mummy29 is an AE. She may be logging on using her normal log in so can still read the posts without arousing suspicion. Best wishes OP, I am sure you will make the right decision for yourself and your family.

elisamoose

OP
Even if you can't face police and you feel you have no one please talk to the school.Believe me all Headteachers have dealt with parents in this situation.The school may have a home school liaison officer (like me) who is skilled at helping in this kind of situation.The school has contacts with lots of other agencies such as housing , CAB etc.

If nothing else you hVe shared the problem and school will be aware.