MSE Parents Club Part 16

**confuzzled**

Sorry to hear some of you are having a bum time with your OHs and sorry to hear your news Becles, but I'm glad you're ok about it:)

I was feeling similar to some of you with my DH before I came back to work, and now I'm back in work and DH is looking after Lottie 1 day per week we're much happier(mainly coz he discovered its not easy looking after a baby, doing housework & having a life:p)... I discovered I liked the idea of being a SAHM but in reality I couldn't do it:o I need the routine that going work provides me with and everything gets done....eventually:D Also helps that DH doesn't mind that I've suddenly gained a fair amount of weight recently:o but apparently if I gain too much I'm gonna be divorced:eek::D pass me the choccies will ya?:p:rotfl::rotfl:

right back to work...x

Becles

When the boys father first left me, I was a bit of a mess. I had no idea how I would cope on my own. I wasn't working so had to find a job that fitted in around a poorly three year old and my Mam's shifts which was hard. Once I got settled into work and had money coming in, I coped fine though.

It's tough at times like when you're poorly or just plain knackered but things still need doing. It's very important to factor "me time" in though so you can chill and get the rest you need.

Boys father hardly sees the boys so I never really got a break from them. At least he still wants to see Charlotte so I will get a little rest from her. That sounds horrible, but you know what I mean!


Think being through it before and knowing I can be strong and independent has helped this time, as I know I can cope on my own and I will.

The boys were little last time so I used to get lonely on a night when they'd gone to bed (7pm-ish). Don't think I will feel as lonely this time as I know more people online who I can log on and chat to, and the boys are up a bit later (James 9pm and Josh 10pm). Had a good chat for ages about immunology and the importance of T3 with Josh the other night, so he's keeping me on my toes

Found a bag of cuddly toys in James room this morning and asked where they came from. He was out on his bike at the weekend and noticed someone having a garage sale and asked them to put some cuddly toys to one side. He came back and asked if he could wash the car for money and I said yes, and he just got on with it. He took the money and went back and bought the cuddly toys for my brothers new baby. I thought that was dead sweet - bless him!

delain

pigpen wrote: »

SirM.. would it actually make any difference if you were on your own? I found when KH went noting changed except we weren't all living in a glass house with it raining stones and tiptoein round so we didn't set KH off on one. I am 3 sizes (possibly 3.5 stone) bigger than I was 7 years ago.. it doesn't change who you are and it can take a couple of years to lose the baby weight.. should you choose to of course!!!

I like the way I am the one that is hard work yet so far today am the only one who has done anything productive!

This was what it was like with my KH... except he wouldn't let me sleep (long story) sometimes you're much better off out of it!

sir_monster wrote: »

Yes I think I'm hard work too, don't do as told, I am becoming more bothered about cleaning but not doing things the anal ways DH wants them to be. Plus finding it hard to be with someone who thinks I'm to quote 'useless' and that I do nothing all day long with t. I think he had 24 hours with him and managed to look after him plus do some tidying up so obviously I should do the same?? Plus he has a major issue with me being a size bigger than what I am and wants me to be like I was when we married. To be honest if it wasn't for t I'd probably tell him where to go, but not sure how I'd cope alone.

You'll cope better because there will be no one slouched on the sofa moaning at you instead of getting off their bum and helping!

I can't be doing with a super clean house, kids need to play, especially as T grows he'll want to (and have a right to) have his toys out all over the floor.

No one should have to put up with having to tiptoe around anyone. OH and I disagree about housework, but I don't have to be afraid of saying, no I'm not doing it he won't be happy but it won't turn into a row either, he eventually just does it :rotfl:

Becles wrote: »

Yes I'm at home with the bairns and dogs. It was tough at first but we're settling into a routine now and managing.

Sorry to hear that Sir M. Hope you are ok *hugs*

*hugs* Becles I hope things go OK for you.

And to everyone - it is absolutely not right for any man to make you feel ashamed of your shape or size, people change throughout life and men who don't figure that out should either grow up or get lost.

OH makes jokes about my size, jokes is all they are, KH used to be really horrible about it (I'm 5ft7, he wanted me to lose weight when I was just under 10st and size 12) and it just shatters your self esteem!

*BigBird*

Awww, that's so sweet about the toys Becles.

I've never understood how a man could not want to be a part of their child's life even if they're not with the mother any more. I asked DH if it was a bloke thing and if we split up (God forbid) would he just disappear from Joe's life. He said absolutely no chance, he'd want to be involved as much as he could.

I know what you mean about being a SAHM, Fuzz, I don't think I could do it either. I don't particularly enjoy my job (apart from payday ), but I do like the routine and the chance to be "me" again.

Make-it-3

Sorry some of you are having a hard time with your OH's. Kind of puts mine into perspective. If he moans about my jelly belly, I tell him is part of the package that comes with baby.

My main gripe is that he thinks he knows better than me at settling LO and doesn't believe me when I say sometimes she just won't go down. Yet when he can't get her to sleep its suddenly my fault cos obviously I didn't feed her well enough. Also, that he thinks that everyone else's babies are better behaved and its because they are all on formula.

Make-it-3

Oh yes, meant to say, that's really sweet of your boy Becles, glad you are breeding a more considerate next generation of men. Perhaps our daughters will have them whipped into shape!

sir_monster

Thanks everyone, I know I should stop moaning about it and do something about it, have got a counselling appt tomorrow so will discuss things with her as need an independent view to work out what to do. How come they always make you feel like is your fault though?? Just reading a relate book about life after a baby think should get him to read it too as we both need to do things differently if there is any chance - just really upsets me to think of having a broken marriage.

How lovely Becles, hope my boy is considerate too.

I know what you mi3, I think every man it seems thinks that if they're not settling is because they are hungry!!

Having fun with t crawling, toys are everywhere.

pigpen

We lost Squeak earlier she went off exploring to the middle room while OH and I put away the shopping and made a cuppa...

She has 'found' a room full of toys, a corkscrew, and it is all very exciting... and she REALLY wants to tip OH's lappy on her head.. which is fine but for the fact it is a £2000 Macbook! :eek:

Becles

sir_monster wrote: »

just really upsets me to think of having a broken marriage.

I think it's sad the relationship is over and I still love him. We had some good times and funny moments, but the funny times were getting less and less and it wasn't fun any more.

There's a stigma attached to it but you've got to put your own personal happiness above what people think.

Was out with Charlotte earlier and a wasp buzzed past. She put her hands on her hips and said "oooooh I hate wasps, they're far too aggressive" :rotfl:

redmel1621

Becles wrote: »

I'm a single Mam again. Long story but relieved it's over.

BIG Hugs Becs.....

When is your degree ceremony?

xx