MSE Parents Club Part 16

kitkat5566

gill_81uk wrote: »

I used to love MK, especially Rachel's Holiday, and any of the ones about that family in general. I was so disappointed with her latest one tho. I can't think of the name at the moment but it was set in a block of flats. I felt it was totally different to all her others and she was trying to be like Cecilia Aherne.

Im the same I used to love MK too until her latest book and still to this day I havent finished it as I found it a bore, normally I am rushing to finish the book to see what happens but I've had this one since release (2009 I think) and still not finished it!

sir_monster wrote: »

thanks again everyone, especially weezl which it does make sense. dh came home tonight with the tail between his legs saying he was a rotten husband/had ruined everything etc, so I do want to make things work as we have had good times plus a son but I guess he has to be on his best! He is even talking about how we should try to dtd at the wkd (how romantic planning it lol like an appointment!) and we should get away to spend more time together.

makeit3 as susan says sounds similar to t would be up from 12ish till 3 for a while, also sounds similar re feeding i think dh's think the boob will solve it all!

Weezl is a very wise lady, and made some very good points Can anyone take T for a few hours at the weekened so maybe you and DH can have a meal out/ go out just the two of you? I think initially my OH was a bit weird with me when T was born, altho he didn't see everything in the birth he did see some horrible things.. and I really worried he would never look at me the same, also when I was expressing I would be sat watching telly attached to a machine and I worried that would put him off. I think it did initially but in the end he really wasn't phased, it probably bothered me more than anything. *lots of hugs* tho Sir M

*hugs* Honeypop, sorry cant offer any advice though but nice to see you here

weezl74

honeypop wrote: »

Thanks Susan, yes I am due to see the consultant again next week so I will ask what they plan to do for me postnatally, I'd rather they kept an eye on me rather than waiting for me to approach them if I need help at that time, as I can't say for sure that I would admit it to myself and go to them.

Hi honeypop, is it a psychiatric consultant or an obstetrician?


Even if the consultant doesnt monitor you, usually your HV will. The other idea, is that you can self-administer the edinburgh PND test online? I did this every week to 2 weeks and just went to the GP when the numbers stayed in the moderate zone for more than a month.

I think it very much depends what intervention you think you would want if you did get PND, iyswim? Medication would be quite quickly available, but counselling/exercise could take longer to arrange, so it might be worth puttting some things in place in advance just in case?

Another idea is to ask a couple of people who you trust to ask you every month how things are in your mood, and to gently encourage you to the GP if it goes low and stays low.

Just a couple of thoughts/ideas I hope some of them are useful

kindofagilr

Hugs Honeypop xxx

Well I am having a nice chilled day today, Ive just made a heart shaped cake for OH, its our 4 year anniversary today just waiting for it to cool then going to put some red icing around the outside

sarahangel

Afternoon all

Thought it was about time I came and graduated from the PG thread

Oliver James was born 25/01/11 weighing 6lb 1.5oz

It's nice to see lots of folks from the pregnancy thread here

MI3 - I'm having a similar problem to you, Ollie will feed then sleep 3-4 hours in the day but then almost continually feed all night. He also has serious booby love too. MW said that he's got his day and night mixed up.
I'm having trouble settling him in his basket for a sleep, he will go down for other people but I just can't manage to settle him and no matter how asleep or awake he is he starts to cry after a couple of minutes. It's especially bad at night and I haven't slept (at night) in my own bed since the day I had him. Any suggestions of how to deal with it?

SugarSpun

Big :grouphug: honeypop, I think Weezl's advice is as always spot on and I hope it all goes well for you

Hello new ladies :j

Sarahangel, he might not be settling for you because he smells the boob and thinks you should be holding him. Have you tried putting something you've worn (so it smells of you) into his basket? I used to dress Miss M's mattress in my sleeping Tshirt

I'm pleased your OH is being a bit more sensitive SirM and the quiet time for the two of you sounds good

honeypop

weezl74 wrote: »

Hi honeypop, is it a psychiatric consultant or an obstetrician?
It's an obstetrician I am seeing, I have seen one of the consultant team a few times due to my previous CS, and the midwife needed me to see one this time to refer me for the counselling or to prescribe medication depending on what they thought. Think he didn't really know what to do with me as I couldn't pinpoint what was actually making me feel like this.
I think the midwife did say that it might be better to have something already in place prior to the birth so that if PND was to affect me then I will at least be getting help a lot quicker - whether this means the HV's will keep an eye on me I'm not sure.

Even if the consultant doesnt monitor you, usually your HV will. The other idea, is that you can self-administer the edinburgh PND test online? I did this every week to 2 weeks and just went to the GP when the numbers stayed in the moderate zone for more than a month.
I remember looking at this test before and kidding myself with the answers as I couldn't admit to myself how I felt - which clearly isn't the point!

I think it very much depends what intervention you think you would want if you did get PND, iyswim? Medication would be quite quickly available, but counselling/exercise could take longer to arrange, so it might be worth puttting some things in place in advance just in case?

Another idea is to ask a couple of people who you trust to ask you every month how things are in your mood, and to gently encourage you to the GP if it goes low and stays low.
I know DH will keep asking how I am, as he does now he knows the truth about how I'm really feeling, but not sure if I would really be honest about how I'm feeling, with anyone not just him.

Just a couple of thoughts/ideas I hope some of them are useful

I think my main problem is being able to admit to myself when I'm feeling this way instead of plodding on pretending everything is fine just because I think that's what everyone expects of me (though I know they wouldn't if they knew) and I don't want people to think I'm being over dramatic over just feeling low which everyone does at some point. I think this should be the main thing to discuss with the counsellor tomorrow, at least if I can do this then I can recognise it myself and get the right assistance whatever that may be, medication or more therapy or whatever.

Thanks for all your thoughts Weezl, since writing about it yesterday and today I've actually felt a bit better about it and have answered some questions in my own head following peoples responses, which I wouldn't have done if I was still keeping it all in. It's already helped me in a way.

You guys are the best! x

weezl74

honeypop wrote: »

I think my main problem is being able to admit to myself when I'm feeling this way instead of plodding on pretending everything is fine just because I think that's what everyone expects of me

you don't need to write it on here if you don't want to, but it might be helpful to discuss with the counsellor/your DH what your own personal warning signs are when you are getting 'too low' so even if you were to fob DH off and tell him you're ok, he'd know because he could see something in your behaviour you'd prewarned him about? Like for some people this would be neglecting self-care, for me, I hibernate from good friendships... yours will be unique Again just a thought so you have put something in place you won't be able to fob off later.

Glad you felt better after posting, that's what it's for! x

honeypop

Do you know what, that is the most useful thing I've heard! I know there are signs that DH would be able to spot, and he could then steer me in the right direction without really having to discuss it.

Make-it-3

elainec wrote: »

hiya, not much to add, but my OH was exactly the same whenever H crying and upset- he needs fed. I ended up really upset as i felt like he though i was starving the baby! we had to have a big chat as it was driving me nuts and i ended up thinking it was so he could get peace and quiet.

Yes, he has been quite pressurising re breast feeding, I think maybe its frustration though because its the one thing he can't do, he's been absolutely brilliant with everything else.

We are having more problems at night, we usually get one 3 hour sleep during the day, she falls asleep on the boob at night, but then as soon as you move her or try to put her down ... I having issues recovering too, so this and lack of sleep is sending me to tears several times a day.

Make-it-3

Sarahangel - I wrote this before reading back to your post - practical identical scenarios! I'm going to try the t-shirt in the basket trick tonight