MSE Parents Club Part 16

SusanC_2

Make-it-3 wrote: »

I'm not too concerned about being 2% over the "norm" but we are having real issues settling her - we were up ALL night two nights ago and OH is putting this down to her not feeding enough, like the boob is the answer to everything!

I think having that kind of problem in the early days is fairly normal. (Or at least I remember us having that kind of thing while OH was on paternity leave so in the first six days.)

sir_monster

thanks again everyone, especially weezl which it does make sense. dh came home tonight with the tail between his legs saying he was a rotten husband/had ruined everything etc, so I do want to make things work as we have had good times plus a son but I guess he has to be on his best! He is even talking about how we should try to dtd at the wkd (how romantic planning it lol like an appointment!) and we should get away to spend more time together.

makeit3 as susan says sounds similar to t would be up from 12ish till 3 for a while, also sounds similar re feeding i think dh's think the boob will solve it all!

ethelsmum

Welcome Make-it-3 :wave:

Sir M - hugs. My OH does comment on my weight (I was a size 12 when we met, then went up to a 14 and after kids a size 16 - although my size 16 jeans are a little snug at the moment). I tell him he knows where the door is if he doesn't like it. Not in a serious way - just my way of saying I will lose weight when I want to, not because he thinks I should. He has never said he finds me unattractive though.
Glad he is making an effort now.

Mel - I hate dinner time as I am constantly juggling everything as OH doesn't get home until 7pm. Last night he was working late and was eating at work so we had a lazy evening - DS had spaghetti, dd had ready brek and I had garlic bread! Not the best meals they've had but it won't do them any harm now and then. Tonight we've had a roast chicken dinner as I managed to prepare it all while dd2 was napping and the big two at school.

Becles

redmel1621 wrote: »

This might sound weird but do you think it is more to do with the fact that you want another baby and he doesn't? I know dh was a bit worried that I might 'accidentally' fall pregnant as I am not adverse to more children and he definitely doesn't want any more!!!

No idea. He doesn't like talking so I'm just left in the dark wondering what on earth is going on. I can't fix things if I don't know what is broken. I've got no idea what his plans for the future are and he won't listen to what I'd like to do. Feel stuck in a rut to be honest

Make-it-3 wrote: »

I'm not too concerned about being 2% over the "norm" but we are having real issues settling her - we were up ALL night two nights ago and OH is putting this down to her not feeding enough, like the boob is the answer to everything!

Does she sleep better during the day rather than at night?

Charlotte had days and nights mixed up at first and was up for lots of frequent feeds at night, but then had long periods of sleep during the day. I used to leave her to sleep in the daylight downstairs and make lots of noise around her. I still hoovered, used the washing machine, left a music channel on the TV etc. I woke her for feeds to stop her having the long sleeps. Then at night I kept it as dark as possible and didn't speak to her or make any noise at all while I changed and fed her. That made her change to doing the longer sleeps at night and the more frequent feeds during the day.

Parents are off on holiday now. They're driving to Manchester today and off to Goa in the morning. Got Charlotte at home in the mornings for the next 2½ weeks, and just doing a little bit of work in the afternoons while she's at school.

We're popping down to town this morning as I need a few groceries and I need to go to the bank.

elainec

Make-it-3 wrote: »

Thank you ladies for the warm welcome.

I'm not too concerned about being 2% over the "norm" but we are having real issues settling her - we were up ALL night two nights ago and OH is putting this down to her not feeding enough, like the boob is the answer to everything!

hiya, not much to add, but my OH was exactly the same whenever H crying and upset- he needs fed. I ended up really upset as i felt like he though i was starving the baby! we had to have a big chat as it was driving me nuts and i ended up thinking it was so he could get peace and quiet.

honeypop

Hi Ladies, I need some advice if any of you have been through the same thing. I did post about this on the pregnancy thread last night so apologies if any of you are reading this for a second time, but thought as you lot have already had the babies then perhaps you could answer a question for me.

Yesterday I was diagnosed with antenatal depression, I kind of knew it was much more than feeling low due to pregnancy but ignored it for a long time and now at 38 weeks pregnant feel it might be too late to 'fix' it. Anyway, I have been referred for a counselling session tomorrow and perhaps to be put on some medication afterwards, not sure how I feel about either but have to see what is best for me and baby I suppose.

Were any of you mums diagnosed with antenatal depression, and if so do you know what helped you to feel better?

Also, did it then develop into PND? This is my main worry, that it's too late to do anything about it now and after the birth I could be a whole lot worse. We really don't have much family around us for support (I have a brother nearby and my Dad who really lacks interest and that's it) and if there are troublesome times coming up post-birth then I know for sure we will really struggle with DS (19 months) and a new baby and me feeling worse than I already do.

SusanC_2

Becles wrote: »

No idea. He doesn't like talking so I'm just left in the dark wondering what on earth is going on. I can't fix things if I don't know what is broken. I've got no idea what his plans for the future are and he won't listen to what I'd like to do. Feel stuck in a rut to be honest

I don't know if it's a man thing or just different personalities but whenever we have arguments, most of the argument is spent arguing over whether we should discuss whatever the original issue was in order to try and resolve it. OH doesn't like confrontation so he'd rather just sweep things under the carpet given the chance. I find it incredibly infuriating.

SusanC_2

Honeypop, I *think* I've read that women with antenatal depression are at slightly higher risk for PND but given the lateness of your diagnosis I would expect you to be provided with appropriate support/help/treatment/monitoring after the birth anyway. I think you said you are due to see a consultant (but I may have just made that up) in which case I would suggest asking about what will be provided for you postnatally as I do think that something should be provided for you as a matter of course.

delain

Well Squeak slept all night again which was nice

just seen the last 2 posts and for a moment thought 'Oh no, did I just post this on the PG thread? lol.

Honeypop sorry I can't help

honeypop

Thanks Susan, yes I am due to see the consultant again next week so I will ask what they plan to do for me postnatally, I'd rather they kept an eye on me rather than waiting for me to approach them if I need help at that time, as I can't say for sure that I would admit it to myself and go to them.