Bitter sister in law

gratefulforhelp_2

Alittlesad wrote: »

I'm looking for some advice please.:o

My husband and I delightedly announced at Christmas that I am pregnant with our third child.:j
Unfortunately my husband's sister has been unbelievable in her response.
She is a single (never married) woman in her fifties who has never had children and claims to find anyone with more than 2 children to be irresponsible.
She always said that she would have a problem with us having another child and has said now that she is very disappointed in us and won't be buying presents for this child as it is just adding to the overpopulation of this country.
I do feel a bit sad for her though as she does come across as very bitter that she is alone.
I have always found her odd to be honest but I am really shocked at this and don't know how to react.

Any help would be welcome.

I would carry on as normal and give her no attention for now, but if she follows through with this, then I would send back any gifts for the first two children on the basis that its unfair for two children to have them and not the third.

This seems to me like attention-seeking, don't reward her for it, she will get worse!

Alittlesad

PasturesNew wrote: »

Why is her opinion/honesty "bitter"?

It's just her opinion, which differs from yours.

Sorry but if you knew her you would know what I mean. She comes across as bitter in many areas of her life. I'm sure she is just expressing her honest opinion but that doesn't mean it's not borne out of bitterness.
I have honest opinions about her lifestyle but I choose not to share them with her.

peppa-pig

When my mum told my nan and step-grandad she was pregnant with me, he said to her 'wouldn't you prefer a new dress?'.

Try not to take it to heart, as log as you and your OH are happy thats all that matters.

Congratulations and i hope you have a happy, healthy and easy pregnancy! xx

Plans_all_plans

Exactly: it's about knowing when to keep your thoughts to yourself! Or at the very least, phrasing things in a more polite way.

Rikki

I think I would just carry on as normal and enjoy the pregnancy. You have months before the baby arrives and the situation could be very different by then.

Alittlesad

Wow, thanks for all the quick replies.

To answer how my husband feels, he's not that close to her but feels responsible for her as she has no other family and has led a lonely life.
We have all just put up with her rants before about children but were flabbergasted when she made it personal.
She doesn't seem very fond of my 2 children anyway.

gratefulforhelp_2

Alittlesad wrote: »

Sorry but if you knew her you would know what I mean. She comes across as bitter in many areas of her life. I'm sure she is just expressing her honest opinion but that doesn't mean it's not borne out of bitterness.
I have honest opinions about her lifestyle but I choose not to share them with her.

Is her argument an environmental one? In which case, does she follow this through in other ways...use renewable fuels, avoid short-haul flights, not have a pet, recycle, avoid unnecessary car use et.c....or is she just picking on the one thing she is unlikely to do anyway to prove she is "green"?

I have a (dear) colleague who harangues me about expecting my third child, I'm afraid I just take the mick because he has a dog, and a gas guzzling land rover...and more cars than people in his household:rotfl:

eta when MIL discovered we were expecting again, she said "was it planned?" instead of the more traditional "congratulations".

concerned43

Some people should learn to keep their mouth shut!!
Your post made me so angry, can't stand people like you SIL!
how dare she say such a thing and how dare she take her bitterness out on a defenceless child.
Although the others say ignore her - that it hard to do when she has basically rejected your unborn child (which must hurt a lot).
If It were me I would be demanding my OH to speak to her and inform her that if she says anything like that again she will not see any of his family again.
She'll die a lonely old women - but i have no pity!

lostinrates

Alittlesad wrote: »

Wow, thanks for all the quick replies.

To answer how my husband feels, he's not that close to her but feels responsible for her as she has no other family and has led a lonely life.
We have all just put up with her rants before about children but were flabbergasted when she made it personal.
She doesn't seem very fond of my 2 children anyway.

If you were all shocked I'm sure her parents will be too, so I'd repeat...just get on with your own lives and let her sort herself out. TBH, I think she is in an unenviable position and I do have pity for her.

sarahlouise210

I would not wait for her to actually buy presents for your other children as this is just cruel ... I would probably write her a letter ( as I am so cowardly face to face!) and explain that if she feels this strongly about your new baby then please do not buy for any of the children. I hope she will accept the child as part of the family though as to not do so would put an intolerable strain on your relationship with your husband, his parents and your SIL - what a shame