Bitter sister in law

maria6259

Just ignore your SIL. I often find that people who are single, as my sister is also, do express their themselves without thinking as they have no-one in their life to temper their thoughts and opinions, so they make the mistake of appearing over critical and think they can just say anything they like.

My sister is the same, 56 years, no kids or hubbie, never has anything good to say. My son got a 2-1 degree and she thought it a shame he didnt get a first, my daughter in law, who is quite buxom, she told her that her wedding dress made her look statuesque (she is short)! My brother's glasses dont suit his face (told to him at his son's wedding), it goes on.....

We had a huge row last time she came down after she told me I needed a new suite (for the umpteenth time) and told my daughter how she needed to put her baby in a dress, chop down the conifer in front of the kitchen window and sort out the dark kitchen (all within 2 minutes of entering her house).

I have thought long and hard about it and I honestly think she looks down on me. All she talks about is how much her friends earn, what job they do, she's pretentious and snobbish, even though we come from a working class background. She seems to have no problem with my middle brother who is a multi-millionaire.

Sorry, this turned into a bit of rant but it's getting it off my chest!!

My point was she has no-one to talk things over with so thinks all her opinions are right and that she can just say them to whoever.

Good luck with the baby!!

January20

flashnazia wrote: »

If I was her I would be a bit peeved that I would have to buy presents X 3 every time it Xmas, birthdays etc. Maybe that's where her comment about presents came from?

I was wondering about that as soon as I read the first post. It is odd that she should focus straight away on the not buying presents for this child. I wonder why? Is her financial situation difficult or is she well off? Is she hiding any financial difficulties/ concerns behind green concerns perhaps?

I love it when my friends/ family announce pregnancies as babies are such a joy, but when you add it all up it can be quite a financial burden!

k.o.d

Ceridwen
Why couldn't the rest of the family toast the baby in front of her?
Do people have to go round afraid of upsetting one person whilst the rest want to show happiness and solidarity?
Are you not projecting your (radical) outlook onto other people?
I understand your ideology, but if everyone else wants to celebrate the fact she is having a child that will be loved, cared for, provided for, then she has just shown herself to be a self centred, spiteful harridan.

OP Good luck with the pregnancy, you cannot pick your family like you do your friends.

Alittlesad

January20 wrote: »

I was wondering about that as soon as I read the first post. It is odd that she should focus straight away on the not buying presents for this child. I wonder why? Is her financial situation difficult or is she well off? Is she hiding any financial difficulties/ concerns behind green concerns perhaps?

I love it when my friends/ family announce pregnancies as babies are such a joy, but when you add it all up it can be quite a financial burden!

I agree that she maybe is resentful of the financial implications as she is fairly lowly paid. her presents have always been pretty cheap (which we don't mind at all) so you are probably talking about her spending an extra 20-30 per year on the extra brithday and Christmas gifts.

I thought it was an odd reaction too but ceridwen has posted that she would do the same about presents so perhaps not.

tizerbelle

Alittlesad wrote: »

Erm. I'm having a third baby. I haven't committed a crime.

Absolutely! Congratulations to you and your family.

I am in my 40's, single no kids and through my choice I won't ever have any. So you and your OH can have the 2 kids I would have been allowed to prevent over-population in addition to your original entitlement of two kids

Alittlesad

tizerbelle wrote: »

Absolutely! Congratulations to you and your family.

I am in my 40's, single no kids and through my choice I won't ever have any. So you and your OH can have the 2 kids I would have been allowed to prevent over-population in addition to your original entitlement of two kids

:rotfl::rotfl:Thank you. :beer:

k.o.d

Alittlesad wrote: »

I agree that she maybe is resentful of the financial implications as she is fairly lowly paid. her presents have always been pretty cheap (which we don't mind at all) so you are probably talking about her spending an extra 20-30 per year on the extra brithday and Christmas gifts.

I thought it was an odd reaction too but ceridwen has posted that she would do the same about presents so perhaps not.

In that case, wouldn't it be better to just say send only cards.
Still doesn't excuse poor manners, especially from the generation that was supposed to be setting the example to modern youth.

kindofagilr

Googlewhacker wrote: »

Thing is can most people afford these kids or are they all 'topped' up with benefits!

Which is why I said if you can afford it, meaning without benefit

Alittlesad

k.o.d wrote: »

In that case, wouldn't it be better to just say send only cards.
Still doesn't excuse poor manners, especially from the generation that was supposed to be setting the example to modern youth.

Cards are bad for the environment so she doesn't give them.

I think we will probably just ignore her and not involve her in an aspect of the pregnancy or birth.
I will speak to my husband about penning a letter to her to say that we were hurt by her reaction but respect her opinions enough not to be rude about her behaviour.
I will request that she no longer buys any gifts for the children and we will stop buying gifts for her ( I would rather give the money to charity, which she should approve of)

Then we can get on with enjoying our family.

January20

tizerbelle wrote: »

Absolutely! Congratulations to you and your family.

I am in my 40's, single no kids and through my choice I won't ever have any. So you and your OH can have the 2 kids I would have been allowed to prevent over-population in addition to your original entitlement of two kids

That's the way I view my brother's situation: he has 5 but I have only 1 (my choice - and yes I did get my fair share of questions asked about it ) and my sister has none (and won't have any) so it even things out in our family :rotfl: