Flaming Ex - why do i bother?!

shellsuit

mommyme wrote: »

urgh

ex has kicked off at me because he's realised ive gone to the CSA. He's not happy, I think it'll be worse when he realises that they will take into account GF's Tax Credits

OH has had a letter from CSA about his son today too, His ex left him and has never let him know where their son is (he hasnt seen his son for 8 years - been looking for them but never found them), Shes now demanding back payments (£2k) - ex was paying CSA but for some reason CSA stopped taking the money (?) so we're just sorting that out also. We're going to solicitors to see if we can get access to his son next week

Soap Opera life or what :rotfl:

Whatever the GF earns or claims has nothing to do with your claim.

She doesn't have to disclose anything.

The CSA can ask for the info, but she doesn't have to give it.

ifonlyitwaseasier

shellsuit wrote: »

Whatever the GF earns or claims has nothing to do with your claim.

She doesn't have to disclose anything.

The CSA can ask for the info, but she doesn't have to give it.

unfortunately (for the ex & gf) they get taken into account and the CSA can get the info direct if they need to

there are lots of tales on the CS board about it

shellsuit

ifonlyitwaseasier wrote: »

unfortunately (for the ex & gf) they get taken into account and the CSA can get the info direct if they need to

there are lots of tales on the CS board about it

From people who have disclosed that information surely?

ifonlyitwaseasier

the CSA are like the kgb, they can find out things you don't even know about you, and as hmrc will tell them anything......

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Cant sleep, Been up for an hour now and doesnt look like im going to go to sleep anytime soon so got up, done a little bit of house work and thought i'd have a quick nose at ebay etc. (sad eh!)

Dont know if I can't sleep because of Ex/OH's CSA, I mentioned about going to my solicitor and seeing if she can track his son's where abouts etc and OH wasn't happy so we've barley spoke all night. Might simply be that I have just had too much sleep these past few days (I went to bed the other night at 7pm!)

Oh the joys of a 4am ramble!

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

**UPDATE**

Well - here goes:

Ok, Solicitor isnt sending the letter now (explain in a min) and he should get the CSA letter in a "few weeks" (thats what they said!) he has said he will pay this month maintainence then pay what CSA tells him to.

OK - At weekend DD was visiting my mum and asked to see her dad. Mum spoke to ex, said that DD wanted to see him and that mums obviously aware of solicitors but that Ex could go to mums for an hour, have supervised contact with DD. Ex said he'd love to. I told mum i would rather not BUT didnt want ex to say i refused access so allowed mum to contact him providing DD never went out of mums sight.

ANYWAY - Ex said He'd visit. Told mum NOT to tell DD. 30 min before ex was due to turn up, he cancels "my GF wont ALLOW it"

I wasnt best impressed, spoke to ex and said that DD should come first. GF was laughing in back ground (stayed clam) and said "well seeing as (mommyme) is paying all this money so we can see DD then let her! We're getting what we want and making (mommyme) struggle - BONUS!"

I was less than impressed and just hung up

Rang solicitor on Monday - explained it to her. Solicitor advised to hold letters, and see if ex goes to a solicitor. If he does, THEN she will send my original letter with access days/times and point out whats happened.

Saves £140 an hour anyway! and like solicitor said - If he doesnt get his own solicitor then he would of let DD down anyway

peachyprice

Jesus, are you all 17-18 year olds?
This is all so childish and in the meantime it's your poor DD who is suffering for this juvenile behaviour, I feel so sorry for her.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Peachyprice - have you read the whole thread? I'm trying to get Ex to SEE his DD. what's juvenile about that? I've been told he's not to come to my house after he was abusive, he's not allowed DD at his house as he's refusing to tell me where he is taking DD and in all rights, could try and keep her.

Charlie1978

The Ex and it's GF are both !!!!!!. The OP has done nothing but bend over backwards (and be a doormat in the process) to try to force Ex into seeing his own child for the benefit (perhaps a little naive?!) of the child. You can't make someone love their child. If he truly loved his child nothing would stop him seeing her. I'm disgusted at their behaviour but OP you're doing well to stand your ground and i'm sure you will continue to be there for your daughter no matter what and eventually she will see (unfortunately) everything for what it is. Keep us updated hun.

And as for 'My GF won't allow it' Cheeky b!tch and grow a pair coward!!! :mad:

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

**ANOTHER UPDATE**

Thought I would update you.

It's now been a month since ex has seen DD - he's had plenty of opportunities.

He paid maintainence a few days ago (£200) which has been knocked down (was paying £350) and he said he hasnt heard from CSA yet.

DD is calling OH "daddy B" - At first we tried to explain that he's just called B but she thinks its funny, she shouts "Daddy B!" then laughs her head off. We found that if we ignored it she reverts back to "B" - Mutual friend told ex. He wasnt happy about it but i explained me and OH wasnt encouraging it and he admitted the GF's DD calls Ex "daddy" so i explained it was same scenario for DD and OH.

Ex wants me to text him once a week and let him know if DD is ok - I havent said whether i'll do this or not.

I know Ex ist happy atm, not sure why, not really any of my business now, but he's texting me more and more but am not replying. We NEARLY had a run in on Saturday. Me and OH went to a restaurant in town, as we was just getting in the car to leave, ex walked into the restaurant with his mates. Reminded myself he told me he couldnt pay maintainence as he was skint . . . obviously not skint enough that he can afford a meal and beer eh!

He hasnt been to a solicitor. His parents told me they still dont want to see DD if Ex isnt seeing her. All been twisted to be my fault of course

OH lost his job yesterday so been budgeting big time today. He has an interview on 24th feb so fingers crossed for us.

Went to Hospital yesterday and i need a hearing aid so i'll be able to hear the mutterings under breath soon lol

Hope your all well

Me x

Getting there!