Who pays what in your house?

shell_girl

We live together but have separate bank accounts. Money is 'ours'. We both have access to eachother's bank accounts and get paid at different points in the month. OH gets paid tomorrow, so over the last few days there's been a steady trickle of transfers into his account from mine. On the 29th and 30th when I'm about to get paid, there'll be the same thing going on from his account into mine. It would probably be a lot less hassle if we had a joint account, but we just haven't got around to it! We'll usually check with the other before moving money over in case there's something due to come out, eg a direct debit or something.

We split bills roughly 50/50, not each one down the middle, but I pay the mortgage and council tax on our house, and he pays the rent on our midweek flat. He covers car insurance, I cover water rates. We probably don't pay exactly the same on bills etc, but everything that's left is ours, so it doesn't really matter who's account the surplus (or deficit usually!!) is held in.

MrsE_2

mommyme wrote: »

He doesnt want to pay towards anything thats "mine" - He only has a mobile phone bills that he pays for. So I'm left paying for everything to do with car and DD. I asked whether he was going to start on the food next after the toileteries lol I bet he would as well you know - "i dont eat cheese, im not paying for it" - lol next it's be "his and her" cupboards lol)

I would think seriously about spending my life & sharing my home with a partner like this.
He should WANT to contribute at least half, more really, as he earns more.

MrsE_2

MillicentBystander wrote: »

Without wishing to be controversial, are you attracting the right sort of man? Non-Neanderthals DO still exist out there, you just need to probably cast your net a little wider.

With respect, Neanderthals are more likely to want to pay for everything;)

cheepskate_2

[QUOTE=hoogervaaner;39349496]Sounds like my ex who used to take himself off on holiday 3 or 4 times a year yet refused to contribute to the cost of a sofa. He said if I wanted to pay for it fine but he would be happy to sit on the floor so it was my problem! :eek: Funny how he used it when it arrived though![/QUOTE]


(QUOTE)Oh God, I couldn't live like that!

When I was with the ex, he had some money come to him, not a lot, about a grand. We needed our back garden turfing or flagging because of the little one at the time. He gave me £30 towards it. Towards a garden for his own son.


I really cant see why people complain about these things, if there like this then you get rid of them for a decent man.

They dont turn like this overnight, but women still put up with it and then go on to have kids with these loosers.

These attitudes come out about money, but probably their whole attitude to family and support is the same dismal style from these men.

As an aside, DH and i been together 22y, and always pooled our money. Now i cant work, thus have no income and his money pays for everything, but this should be what family is all about.

barbiedoll

My DH gets paid weekly and I get paid monthly. I pay all the monthly bills from my salary (which is currently higher than his) and he pays for the petrol, weekly shopping and his mobile (£13.50/month.) If there's anything left in his account (which is a joint account but I don't use it, although I have a card for it and access to internet banking etc) then it goes towards anything else that we need, or into a savings account. Most of the Christmas pressies have come from his money this year. I pay for all of the bills at the start of the month so that I know that the essentials have been paid. If I have money left and he doesn't, then I give him what he needs and vice versa. We only keep the accounts separate so that we can keep track of our spending, after getting into a financial mess, we decided that as I'm the money-savvy one, I'm in charge of the bills. There's no resentment, if we have it then we can spend it, if not, we don't.

Your OH sounds like a real cheeky s*d, getting free lifts to and from work and still refusing to pay towards the car! As for begrudging you the toiletries with the shopping, what is going on in his mind? Shampoo and soap aren't a luxury, unlike fags and booze. :mad: I would definitely stop the "loans", if he can't afford to drink and smoke, then tough. Stop the lifts to and from work, if he moans then tell him that you can't afford the petrol costs any longer, especially as you're paying such a high price for your coffee! :rotfl:
As for paying out for his mum's wedding present, you should ask him for the cost of the gift at the very least, as you're paying for the hotel and the petrol, it's the least that he could do.
Make a list of all of the household expenses, including the car. If he won't pay for it, don't let him get in it. If he wants to act like a spoilt child, then treat him like one. He earns more than you and he's taking you for a ride. Tell him to sling his hook if he's not going to pay his way!

penelopedee_2

DH struggles with money and budgeting, so when he's working he transfers over most of his wages to our bills account and keeps a little back for pocket money (we both know how much). I then sort out all of bill payments/paperwork and work out what is left for groceries etc.

Since he was made redundant, I've paid for all the bills because otherwise we would loose the house/starve. I don't earn much but its enough to stop him getting any benefits. I also transfer a little of what's left over to his account so he has a bit of money to use as his own. When it has been the other way round, he has given me all his wages and then let me work out how much 'pocket money' we can have back.

Everything we buy for essential living comes out of the bills account, whether its toiletries, petrol, car tax, or work shoes. We normally say if we want something that costs more and if the money isn't available we don't have it.

But it took us a few years to get to this stage. At the beginning he had no concept of the cost of real life and it took a lot of 'discussion' and a few tears of frustration. He freely admits he would spend everything and then remember the mortgage DD hasn't gone out yet. Its not perfect but we still have a roof over our head

I meant to add - DH doesn't drive either. He kicked up initially about having to cover car costs (even though I drive him where ever he needs to go if I'm not at work). He soon missed the lifts when I put my foot down about it. Car running costs need to come out of the joint bills account.

Lara44

OP your sig says it all! :rotfl:

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

it was bliss before he moved in lol

Ok - when i finish work i pick DD up, drive past our house to OH's work and then back home. From our house, to his work and back, 7 times a week i'm doing just over 50 miles each week. his bus fare would be £3.50 for a single ticket - so what should i ask for ?

Told him we're talking about things later but been in bed with a migrane all evening so apologies in the delay in replying.

Someone hit the nail on the head with the whole joint bank account - apologies i cant remember your id! I dont want to have a joint account in case i get into trouble with it through no fault of my own.

I think part of the problem is that he doesnt see this as his house. I lived here with my ex, but me and OH have been and brought things for the house (new bed etc)

I think that the reson OH thinks I earn more is because i'm not skint (im by no means rich but i never have less than £200 in the bank at any given time) as well as having savings. Where as he obviously struggles with budgeting.

Someone asked what his set up was before - He lived in a pub that he worked in, they charged him £50 board inc food and took it out of his wages so he didnt really notice it.

OH has only been living with us for a few months but i've known him for over a decade.

gotta go - gonna talk to him later

pimento

mommyme wrote: »

... and half for a coffee machine (that I didn’t want – he brought it before he even lived with me! – we were meant to go halves on the actual coffee capsules, they’re £50 a pop for 50 capsules but I seem to end up paying for these! - DONT GET A NESPRESSO - Not very MSE!)

10 Nespresso capsules are £3.10 (and that's the most expensive type) so 50 will cost you £15.50 not £50.00

No wonder you're broke.

hoogervaaner

cheepskate wrote: »

[QUOTE=hoogervaaner;39349496]Sounds like my ex who used to take himself off on holiday 3 or 4 times a year yet refused to contribute to the cost of a sofa. He said if I wanted to pay for it fine but he would be happy to sit on the floor so it was my problem! :eek: Funny how he used it when it arrived though!

(QUOTE)Oh God, I couldn't live like that!

When I was with the ex, he had some money come to him, not a lot, about a grand. We needed our back garden turfing or flagging because of the little one at the time. He gave me £30 towards it. Towards a garden for his own son.


I really cant see why people complain about these things, if there like this then you get rid of them for a decent man.

They dont turn like this overnight, but women still put up with it and then go on to have kids with these loosers.

These attitudes come out about money, but probably their whole attitude to family and support is the same dismal style from these men.

As an aside, DH and i been together 22y, and always pooled our money. Now i cant work, thus have no income and his money pays for everything, but this should be what family is all about.[/QUOTE]

I didn't stay with him hence the 'ex' and I most certainly did not have children with him. The sort behaviour quoted above was exactly why I left him! He was a selfish toerag and being with my fabulous DH only highlights what a total pig he was.