Struggling mum of 2 - where do I turn for help??

RAS

Hi

You need to get extra help here, which is where woman's aid can come in. You may be able to get a note put on your kid's files at the Passport Office to prevent another one being issued (because the one at your parents has been "lost") and I believe you can get court orders that prevent him taking the kids to Turkey and enable prompter action to be taken if he tries it. So please do get in touch with them.

demir2424

See my problem is I go to ask help for one problem, but then I have about 20 other problems that are all interlinked. So nobody knows where to start to help me - I was in the CAB yesterday for over 3 1/2 hours and I still came out with no positive answers.

blue_monkey_2

Womens Aid will be the ones to help you D, they'll help with everything. Debts are the last thing to worry about, there is a standard letter you can ront off that says in a round about way, I have no money I am sending £1 a month token payment for the foreseeable future.

There is usually a drop in centre with advisors, somewhere you can go if having a rough day too, run by ladies who have been in your position so they will understand and be able to help you more.

Have you looked at the website to see where the nearest centre is to you? It is here: http://www.womensaid.org.uk/regional_map.asp?section=00010001000800060003 They are 24 hours, maybe give them a call tonight when the kids are in bed.

Mojisola

demir2424 wrote: »

And she asked me if I was scared of my husband - I said no. I am not scared of him, just scared of things he might do to me and the kids.

In future I think you should answer yes to that question. If you are scared of what he might do, you are scared of him!

sandraroffey

if you are scared of what he will do then you are scared of him.

you need somewhere to run to???? ive got some spare rooms. he wont find you here.

i had to run and hide too. still hiding. you are welcome at any time of the day or night. i mean it. xxxxx

gravitytolls

sandraroffey wrote: »

if you are scared of what he will do then you are scared of him.

you need somewhere to run to???? ive got some spare rooms. he wont find you here.

i had to run and hide too. still hiding. you are welcome at any time of the day or night. i mean it. xxxxx

God bless you.

Look, the simple, unpalatable truth is that if he gets the children out of the country, you won't fiond them. To ensure this doesn't happen, you need to be in a position where he can't find you.

Please, please contact Women's Aid, the police, anyone who can help you get away. Don't be the next woman on morning TV weeping at the loss of her children, begging for help and telling your story as a warning to others.

blue_monkey_2

sandraroffey wrote: »

if you are scared of what he will do then you are scared of him.

you need somewhere to run to???? ive got some spare rooms. he wont find you here.

i had to run and hide too. still hiding. you are welcome at any time of the day or night. i mean it. xxxxx

Oh my, you are an angel.

I am hiding too, we needed housing and even the council have given us somewhere remote and out of the way to live. There are many of us, how many of us will admit it though.

blue_monkey_2

Mojisola wrote: »

In future I think you should answer yes to that question. If you are scared of what he might do, you are scared of him!

Absolutely agree.

I think the biggest hurdle is admitting it to yourself though, don't you think? And once you have done this then you can deal with it more.

Kimitatsu

demir2424 wrote: »

See my problem is I go to ask help for one problem, but then I have about 20 other problems that are all interlinked. So nobody knows where to start to help me - I was in the CAB yesterday for over 3 1/2 hours and I still came out with no positive answers.

Thats always the nature of the beast I was trained by the CAB and I can tell you that nothing occurs in isolation. You need to speak to a specialist - they have teams of people who are there to help, so they should refer you on!

RAS wrote: »

Hi

You need to get extra help here, which is where woman's aid can come in. You may be able to get a note put on your kid's files at the Passport Office to prevent another one being issued (because the one at your parents has been "lost") and I believe you can get court orders that prevent him taking the kids to Turkey and enable prompter action to be taken if he tries it. So please do get in touch with them.

Ring the passport office and ask if the passports have been issued in your name - it used to be that either parent could apply, but now the parent who applies is the only one who can give permission for the children to leave the country. If neccessary apply for new ones - I know I did for my two sons so that my ex cannot remove them from the country (the NRP's passport numbers are also noted so that it comes up on screen at the terminal)

demir2424

sandraroffey wrote: »

if you are scared of what he will do then you are scared of him.

you need somewhere to run to???? ive got some spare rooms. he wont find you here.

i had to run and hide too. still hiding. you are welcome at any time of the day or night. i mean it. xxxxx

Thank you for your lovely offer. I don't think I am ready to go into hiding just yet. I will speak to women's aid and refuge when my eldest decides he is tired.