Struggling mum of 2 - where do I turn for help??

blue_monkey_2

demir2424 wrote: »

Applied 3 times for council tax benefit, keep being refused. Secured loan is in joint names with a large sum left on it.

Mortgage - not sure what to do - I don't want to live in a b & b which is what is being offered as free housing.

Sorry my last post was cut short as I had my sister on the phone saying I had landed her in trouble in the playground yesterday with a local childminder who had been bad-mouthing me.

You won't be there for long D and it is a road to getting your own place. They told us we was going into a hostel and 3 days before the bailiff was due to get us out of the house we rented we got the keys to this house we are in now. They do this to weedle out who is actually in need and who is chancing their luck. If you are desperate then you'll take it - do you see what the council are doing? You may not even get there D, but it'll get you into your own house rather than renting. You'll have somewhere secure forever, just you and the kids, you can close the door and your ex will never be able to come in uninvited again.

No worries and !!!!!!, what has the childminder got to do with anything?

Does he pay anything towards the secured loan? Because if he doesn't, and you are leaving then I'd be tempted to stop paying then too. They will force the house sale and, although you'll both be liable, they'll come after the highest earner for anything owed.... and that won't be you.

demir2424

I asked my local ofsted co-ordinator for cheaper and alternative childcare options. She called weeks ago with some strange arrangements, such a spliting the children between one childminder I like and one I had problems with in the past or a childminder with 4 days a week available but lives 6 miles away. I asked her to keep looking for somebody who was nearer (as I don't drive) and could take both children together.

My sister was at swimming lessons with her little boy and the childminder I like said that 'Lisa from ofsted called her and said that I was a bit nasty with her and would not be helping me again'

Last thursday lisa from ofsted called with another childminder who can have the boys 3 days a week and lives 3 miles away. I asked her if I had been funny with her last time as I was surprised to hear from her as this nice childminder had told my sister that I had been funny with her.

This nice childminder, yesterday in the playground, verbally attacked my sister saying she is a ****stirer and then called this lisa from ofsted on her mobile and asked her to repeat my conversation with her back to my sister.

My sister was left physically shaking and a bit angry.

So much for a confidential service being offered by ofsted!!

blue_monkey_2

Bloody hell - did you call Ofsted and tell them?

Js_Other_Half

demir2424 wrote: »

my work have now offered 20 hours a week at a higher wage (1.20 an hour more)

:j That is great news, even if you choose not to take it, it means they value you and want to keep you?

demir2424

blue_monkey wrote: »

Bloody hell - did you call Ofsted and tell them?

I don't want to make things even worse.

Juicyloo

Really wish I'd caught up with this thread much earlier Demir. Would have been a pleasure to help you out at Christmas being as we live in the same small town!

I just knew it from your posts!

Really hope I can help. At least it would divert my attention from my own situation, and it has made me realise I really am coming out the other end, so thanks for that.

Will do whatever I can to help.

demir2424

Juicyloo so strange that you live about a mile away from me and depending on which doctor's you use you probably know me!!

blue_monkey_2

Wow, hopefully you can both get together juicyloo and help D out. D, please take the help that JL is offering, it'll help take some of the weight from your shoulder.

JL - we initially told D to stay put but her ex can just come and go as he pleases from the house and he really is not very nice. It'll be good for D to have a fresh start elsewhere and as the house has no equity, she should get housing.

Juicyloo

Pretty sure I'll kniow you at least by sight. Have just recently changed to the GP on the Square after all my life at the other one, and did know most of the staff at the other, including the phlebotomist.

Don't really know many staff at the other yet- just the really good Gp I now have.

Don't worry. I know what you mean about everyone knowing everyone's business round here, but, even having lived here all my life, I'm not in with the yokels really. I always kept myself to myself, and didn't go to the local secondary school. IYKWIM

Parents have always lived in same place, so just trying to think.

Juicyloo

blue_monkey wrote: »

Wow, hopefully you can both get together juicyloo and help D out. D, please take the help that JL is offering, it'll help take some of the weight from your shoulder.

JL - we initially told D to stay put but her ex can just come and go as he pleases from the house and he really is not very nice. It'll be good for D to have a fresh start elsewhere and as the house has no equity, she should get housing.

Right BM, thanks for clarifying that. Will have a think, and try to speak to her a bit more. It definitely helps to know the local market/area.

Will just let her get used to the idea, and I'm sure I can offer support. If needs be I can let you know the exact address before long etc. I know you have your parents close, but he has no idea who/where I am does he?Mind you, neither do you-lol!

Not sure what other support you have around here, but I'm happy to provide a place of safety should it be needed in an emeggency.

Anyway, all food for thought.

Also, where I live is very secluded and private, just hope we can all help you get sorted.

Would be very interested to know who your solicitor is as sounds suspiciously like mine also.