Struggling mum of 2 - where do I turn for help??

xnatalie81x

Am next door to Herts and Essex in Enfield. North London

OP I have a complete C O C K of an ex too but i have a very recent CSA agreement of £5 per week for his 3 children! (i have 4 but am not acknowledging him as father of 4th) but have had no payment for a month. No advice, no real help but wanted to say things WILL get better and if u want someone to chat to then i am here

sunnyone

xnatalie81x wrote: »

Am next door to Herts and Essex in Enfield. North London

OP I have a complete C O C K of an ex too but i have a very recent CSA agreement of £5 per week for his 3 children! (i have 4 but am not acknowledging him as father of 4th) but have had no payment for a month. No advice, no real help but wanted to say things WILL get better and if u want someone to chat to then i am here

why would you deny the fourth child as his if the bairn is his?

demir2424

csa are useless. I got a phone call yesterday - "can you confirm that your ex husband has paid 50 pounds to you for christmas gifts?" I said yes. I was told that this money will be taken off his first payment and they agreed with him to start payments in january and not to backdated. It is like the non-resident parent again has all the power.
I guess, fingers crossed and be grateful if I get anything in january.
Also his has been enquiring about taking my name off the mortgage as HSBC called me yesterday, told bank that I am not agreing with this and he can wait and see what the divorce agreement is.
Also, our mortgage repayments have now been reduced to 458 a month as our fixed rate has ended last month - he failed to tell me this and I have paid my 275 this month and last month.

blue_monkey_2

He is a slimy toad demir, stay put please. Have you managed to find another solicitor yet? I know that you are busy but it is important that you get things moving if you can.

Has he been around since?

Have you spoken to your solicitor about this? Someone else will advise I am sure but how can he make his own arrangements for making the payments - that is not right, surely?

Remember, all of his motives have been for his own benefit so far, giving you money and going to the CSA and telling them, going to the bank about getting your name taken off. It's time to step up and play the game - beat him at his.

Demir, do you give him the money to pay the mortgage? I'd be tempted to call his bluff now - tell him you are paying NOTHING and you are going to let the bank repossess the house - and save the money so you can back pay. He will either do the same or he will pay all the mortgage and you'll still have a roof over your heads.

Your solicitor should be acting on all of these things that have happened, is she? Does anyone know of a good family law solicitor up there? It HAS to be someone who is specialised in Family Law so if it is the one who you sold your house though she is probably going to be of little or no use.

I cannot tell you how urgently you need to get this sorted now as he clearly is acting to get you out and you must not go - and if he gives you money give it right back to him. Can you switch bank accounts so he cannot pay money in?

Are you working next week? I think you need to take a day off and get everything sorted - and first job is to go visit all the solicitors in the area. You will get Legal Aid and they have to act because chilren are involved but please do make this your first priority after Xmas. Most will be back on Tuesday after the Xmas break so start calling. Please make this your first job.

Remember, if at any time he himself changes the locks or refuses to let you in the house, call 999 as YOUR name is also on the deeds - whether you are paying the mortgage or not.

skippythebushkangaroo

Storrar Cowdry solicitors in Chester are very good and specialise in family law but don't know if this too far away? I hope you manage to get this sorted, what a !!!!pot this man is!

Kimitatsu

demir2424 wrote: »

csa are useless. I got a phone call yesterday - "can you confirm that your ex husband has paid 50 pounds to you for christmas gifts?" I said yes. I was told that this money will be taken off his first payment and they agreed with him to start payments in january and not to backdated. It is like the non-resident parent again has all the power.
I guess, fingers crossed and be grateful if I get anything in january.
Also his has been enquiring about taking my name off the mortgage as HSBC called me yesterday, told bank that I am not agreing with this and he can wait and see what the divorce agreement is.
Also, our mortgage repayments have now been reduced to 458 a month as our fixed rate has ended last month - he failed to tell me this and I have paid my 275 this month and last month.

You need to appeal the CSA decision.......will find out how you can do it and pm you. The NRP should not have all the power and to be honest they have made an error!

So for your mortgage payment, I agree with BM either pay nothing or pay £129 which would be your share minus the £100 you have already overpaid. Put in writing to the HSBC that you do not agree to your name being taken off the mortgage and give them a password to ask for if they call you.....call me cynical but I wouldnt put it past him to get someone else to ring the bank as you.

You know demir, I feel like getting in the car and coming and giving him a piece of my mind already. Do NOT move out, he has not rights to force you to, and he does not have your interests at heart. The money is a gift.....the CSA has already said so, so currently you are paying for his gift to his son :mad::mad::mad:

Concentrate on your boys tomorrow and dont let him spoil anything, he is SO not worth it. Have a lovely day tomorrow, and sort everything else out afterwards x

demir2424

thank you blue_monkey again for a lovely christmas morning xxx

NickyBat

demir2424 wrote: »

csa are useless. I got a phone call yesterday - "can you confirm that your ex husband has paid 50 pounds to you for christmas gifts?" I said yes. I was told that this money will be taken off his first payment

I would have said No!!

fletch3163

Just wondering about this poster. I do hope she was able to get back in the property after Christmas and is OK

sandraroffey

Do hope that HE hasnt changed the locks so she cant get back in. or has decided to move him and his girlfriend into the place.

op been very quiet, but wasnt she going away>??