Struggling mum of 2 - where do I turn for help??

mother_of_three

go to gumtree and search for a rental place near you,i did that in octover and i've never looked back with my kids

blue_monkey_2

mother_of_three wrote: »

go to gumtree and search for a rental place near you,i did that in octover and i've never looked back with my kids

No, she should not be leaving the marital home.

If she goes and he sells the house for a loss - she will still have to pay her 'half' and the bank will persue her for this. If she walks, her name will still be on the deeds she will not get LHA as she has interest in a property. She cannot afford the mortgage, let alone to rent - which in turn needs a hefty deposit. This is why she needs to speak to her solicitor. ASAP. And she needs to stay put.

Jowo_2

mother_of_three wrote: »

go to gumtree and search for a rental place near you,i did that in octover and i've never looked back with my kids

I agree with Blue_Monkey.

The husband is trying to starve the family he abandoned out of the family home so he can profit from the sale which is contrary to her rights and his obligations.

If she concedes to his unreasonable demands, she further disadvantages herself and her children. He is manipulating and controlling her circumstances for his own economic gain and at the cost of her children's stability. It is no surprise that he has turned up with gifts and is suddenly being much more cooperative as his eyes are firmly on the prize of persuading her to move out and hand over the keys.

It must be hard for the OP to stand firm when he is deliberately (and quite effectively) economically disadvantaging her and he is hoping to thrive on her ignorance of her legal options. It is no wonder she would like to start afresh somewhere else and moving out seems the easiest option compared to the financial struggles she is enduring at the moment.

However, it is highly likely that there are ways she can prevent the repossession of the property and enforce his obligations and this involves her taking control of her circumstances, though she is least likely to be in the mood for the conflict it brings and the effort it takes.

I think she needs to stay put, initiate a divorce and get a solicitor in place to act as a barrier and main communication point between them and prevent his plans to further ruin his family. I think he is cunning and knows her rights, even if she doesn't.

blue_monkey_2

Yep, I agree.

I know I have said it before but I'd resort to another level: Stop paying the mortgage if you have no money, it'll take ages for them to you her out and he'll either have to pay it or end up losing the house and having to pay some back too. I think the evil in me would be to do this.

But I also think your solicitor is a waste of space. I'd be looking for a new one OP, really I would. Call a few when you get a day off and speak to them, you'll get a feel as to whether they are understanding or not. I'd say this one is not. And you should get legal aid too, and they'll put a charge on your house so when it (eventually) sells they'll take the money then. My mother did this. She also managed to get ALL the house from my dad who never paid anything.

Keep your chin up all will come well.

sandraroffey

you need a solicitor who specialises in family law. mine was the dogs bits... she was marvellous but she is in kent.

nikki_angel

How are you doing today OP?

demir2424

I am feeling completely confused with all the things I have to do. I am working every day this week and have a huge nursery bill this week - but part of my job is holiday cover.
My head is spinning with everything I need to do.

blue_monkey_2

Make a list demir, and one thing at a time. And then welcome to my world It is the only way I can be organised.

What things do you need to get done? Work out what is the biggest priority from the list and go from there.

Did you get the Tax Credit for Nursery sorted?
Is there anyone that can help you get what you are entitled to?
Are you able to break down the amounts so someone here can help you?
Do you get free credits for your DS that are being applied?
And lastly, have you asked the Nursery as they might be able to help/advise you what you are entitled to claim for.

Do not feel embarrassed - if you need advice or help then ask for it, no-one will know if you do not tell them.

Do you work in the NHS? Do they give Nursery Vouchers - the Police do, might be worth investigating too.

One thing at a time though. It does not make sense to be working for nothing, I have to confess - I wish I lived nearer so I could come and help you sort it out over a coffee.

Your parcel has left me today so fingers crossed for Thurs.

Loanranger

Just one step at a time, demir.
Forget Christmas, it's just another day, As I wrote before and others have said, your kids are too young to know they're not having the latest in thing.
Sort out the tax credits.
Don't even think about moving out.
Get another family law solicitor. Ask about the free hour/half hour deal.

We're all here for you.

BARGAINHUNTER!

Get yourself another solicitor - you should qualify for legal aid - and start divorce proceedings asap. Part of these proceedings will be to do with the house and what happens to it - sit tight until it has been worked out by the solicitors what is happening with the house that should give you at least 6 months grace. Please DO NOT MOVE OUT and make yourself and your children homeless. He has left the family home not you - SIT TIGHT!!!