Struggling mum of 2 - where do I turn for help??

Jowo_2

demir2424 wrote: »

... he will pay maintenance for his children, but from 15th january 2011, as that will give me and the kids 2 weeks payment before we move out of the family home at the end of january (as he did promise we could have christmas in the house).

Apologies for asking for this information which you may have provided earlier in the thread.

Are you planning to stay on in the property and have you sought legal advice about your housing rights? What are your plans for accommodation past mid Jan - are you planning to cooperate with his request to quit the property?

demir2424

I really don't know what we are doing - i can't afford the mortgage on my own and my mortgage supplier is not much help. The maintenance could go towards the mortgage, but the kids would be in the same (no spare money) situation.
I feel that if i find somewhere to rent i would get a bit of help with my rent and council tax and the boys could then benefit from the maintenance payments rather than me spend it on the mortgage and council tax.
I really don't know what to do as nobody seems to want to give me any financial help because this house is seen as an asset.

elisebutt65

I can only repeat what others have said again and again; DO NOT LEAVE THE PROPERTY!!

He can't force you out without taking you to court. I really hope from your post above, that you're not seriously considering this???

demir2424

As nice as it would be to stay living in my home, I simply can't afford this house on my own at ther moment.

blue_monkey_2

demir, I just realised something after reading your last mail.

You need to tread VERY carefully if you vacate the house and it is not sold. You will not be able to claim any LHA if you have interest in a property. My mother had a property (she rented to us, we paid her mortgage, she made no money IYSWIM) and lived with her BF, when she lost her job they were unable to claim Housing Benefit on his property because she had the house.

You DO need to get this sorted and decide what you are going to do as time is running away. IF - and that is a big IF - the house is going to be sold, get it sold with you in it and ONLY move out towards the end, when completion is very near otherwise the fact you own a property - even with no qequity - will stop you getting LHA.

PLEASE be very careful. I think you should tell your ex that you cannot afford he rent and have been told you will get no help so have t stay. IF he wants you out then he will have to take it to court and get you out.

Why did I get an inkling that you are going to move out and he is going to move right in........ from what you have said he is being too nice. He wants something, I'd be very careful. What a horrible man. I can imagine that this time of year it would be easy to think he wants you back but it is very brave of you to resist. I am glad you have woken up to the kind of man that he is.

blue_monkey_2

I know you cannot afford it but do NOT move out until it is sold/repossessed and a completion date is near, you will not get LHA and if he stops paying the maintenance you'll be up sh*t creek without a paddle.

demir2424

that is where i am stuck, he will only either pay maintenance or half mortgage payments - not both.
my local council sent me the paperwork for hb and i think he is going to take me off the mortgage. at the moment i just want him to leave me alone and stop pestering me and support his children.

thorsoak

Unless he is on a high enough salary, the mortgage company may not agree to take you off the mortgage - and he cannot take your name off the title deeds without your consent!

dawyldthing

if i was you i would look into how much it will cost you to rent as i think it could be as much as the morgage you know, as renting in many parts of the country can be very expensive. Could you ask to see if you can get an interest only morgage/ apply for help with the interest from the government (i think you can with certain benefits). Like someone said, with any savings/ interest in property it will have a direct infulence on what money you can claim, and a short term cutting down will be worth it to keep a roof over your head as if your name is on the morgage then you have as much right as he does to it. If he blackmails you and says that he won't pay it, the morgage company will chase him for the morgage payments regardless if they do go into arrears as whether your in the property or not if your name is on the book then he is liable for it regardless as one of my old housemates used to deal with morgage arrears so i've heard many stories about similar circumstances. The other thing is that, even though it will increase the term of your morgage and the interest rates will go through the roof, as long as you pay most of it the morgage company to my knowledge shouldn't take it off you as i know a family member had to do this for years as they couldn't pay the lot.

Keep your head up hun and things will work themselves right, the main thing is to keep a roof over your head and food on your plate. Whether it suits the ex or not - well, he can go and get knotted!

dawyldthing

as for him saying he won't pay both - he won't have much choice really as the morgage company will chase him if it goes too far behind and the csa will be more bothered about getting the money to you and as far as i am aware shouldn't make you chose help towards housing vs food help.

I'd hang fire, i really would as as long as its in positive equity and you don't have any money in the property, as sad as it sounds you would be in a win win situation as it takes a long while for the morgage company to take you to court should it come to that about a year or 2 down the line, plus if you get booted out then you will have a better chance of getting a council house as you will be techinally 'homeless'