Struggling mum of 2 - where do I turn for help??

demir2424

Chased csa and tax credits yesterday no success from either yet. Filled paperwork for council and will send off today.
Big break through is ex hubby offered me 15 pounds yesterday as 'pumpaloons' is sold out in argos and he can't find it anywhere - I found it on amazon. So I am to order it from him (not santa) for my eldest - asked about baby he said baby has too many things.

Kimitatsu

Hey

Glad to see you are still coming back and posting. Dont let him get you down, buy the game (once he has given you the money and not before) as your son will be disappointed otherwise.

Baby wont know any difference at this age, so it is only being done to wind you up. Smile peacefully and grind your teeth inwardly! Once he realises that you dont react he will stop doing it.

If you can take your paperwork into the council and get a receipt for it, that should speed it up a little for you as there are several bank holidays over Christmas.

Chin up, you are doing really well x

demir2424

Things are looking a little less bleak - this morning ex hubby brought around a 90 wash box of daz washing powder, a 5 litre of fairy fabric conditioner, 6 bottles of washing liquid and a case of orange fruit shoots - guess this is our christmas presents!!
Also yesterday my grandmother sent both the boys 20 pounds each in their christmas cards which is so so nice and generous for a lady in her 80's - she wrote "I hope santa comes" which brought a tear to my eye.
Maybe if I was a bit more honest with people about my situation and stopped trying to hide things from my friends and family life would be a little easier for my boys. I am so thankful for all the advise and help from this forum.
I will keep you posted on any other positive things that happen.

demir2424

Ex husband has put 50 pounds in my bank account this morning - I called him at work to ask what this is for. He said buy eldest son 'pumpaloons' and with the rest buy the baby and yourself something for christmas. How generous!!
He probably spent more than that on his work's christmas dinner - he also wants to know what we are doing christmas day - told him we are going to my parents and staying over night. I think he is lost and I am guessing his new girlfriend may have her children's father visiting christmas day.

Jowo_2

demir2424 wrote: »

Things are looking a little less bleak - this morning ex hubby brought around a 90 wash box of daz washing powder, a 5 litre of fairy fabric conditioner, 6 bottles of washing liquid and a case of orange fruit shoots ...I will keep you posted on any other positive things that happen.

Right, so no contribution to household bills but you've got cleaning materials for the childrens clothes that are wearing out that he won't help to replace and for the plates where he provides nothing towards the food that goes on them...

I bet he was proud of the tenner he spent in the pound shop to provide for his family.

Why do even bother to accept such a poxy measure of support as it's just feeding his fantasy of being a good provider?!

Coo, you've got the patience of a saint in your half glass full approach - I swear the guy would be wearing the washing powder with a dash of washing up liquid if that's all he delivered me before Xmas!

demir2424

I was being a little sarcastic in my last post about the laundry items - I know he should be providing so much more for his boys. But its the first thing I have had from him since september 2009.

Jowo_2

demir2424 wrote: »

I was being a little sarcastic in my last post about the laundry items - I know he should be providing so much more for his boys. But its the first thing I have had from him since september 2009.

yeah, i detected it, i think this thread is one of quite a few that i've seen about stingy non resident parents who have abandoned their families but who don't seem to have a clue how parsimonious and selfish they are. I imagine he got quite a thrill trundling up with a small parcel of cleaning materials and paying a sum that barely covers a gift and a christmas meal. now he probably thinks you owe him a favour!

demir2424

I am sure you are right. He probably feels really proud of himself.
At the moment me and the boys are happy to get anything, beggars cant be choosers!!

demir2424

Received a letter from the csa telling me that payments will be starting soon from ex - they can't confirm dates but it will be backdated to 24th november which is the day he confirmed he was the father of my 2 children.

sammyjammy

demir2424 wrote: »

Received a letter from the csa telling me that payments will be starting soon from ex - they can't confirm dates but it will be backdated to 24th november which is the day he confirmed he was the father of my 2 children.

I'm really pleased for you, its a shame its only from 24/11 - how does that work?

That's one thing ticked off your list!